Angel
by Rhindon
Summary: Post Devil's Trap. Dean and Sam rush to save someone from Sam's past, unaware of what they are about to encounter and how profoundly it will permanently change their lives. What could possibly break Dean?
1. Visions and Encounter

**Supernatural's characters and stories do not belong to me. If the show's creators were to decide they would like to develop this story, the only compensation I need is to fly out to the set and spend a week or two watching how things are done and meeting Jensen, Jared, and the crew. Spending a little time with Jensen and Jared would be nice too.**

_**Summary:** Post Devil's Trap. Dean and Sam rush to save someone from Sam's past, unaware of what they are about to encounter and how profoundly it will permanently change their lives. What could possibly break Dean? What secret is Dean keeping from Sam?_

_**Characters**: Dean, Sam, John, Missouri, Lauren (new), Angel (new)_

_**Features:** Drama, snark, angst, amulet back story_

_**Character conflicts: **Dean/Sam; Dean/John; Dean/Lauren_

**Visions**

Sam woke up in a cold sweat. This routine was becoming all too familiar for him, but at least the visions that he had while sleeping weren't accompanied by the blinding headaches he sometimes experienced with the visions he had while awake. He rolled over to look at the clock. Damn…3 am! Dean was not going to be happy about this.

Dean could be difficult when he'd had enough sleep, but lack of sleep made him even more disagreeable. Why did so many of these visions have to come in the middle of the night? Was Sam's mind more open to them while sleeping? He was dreaming about Jess less and less now… but during the day he still thought about her constantly… pinned to the ceiling, looking desperate to say something to him, but unable to… the fire suddenly surrounding her small frame. If only he had paid attention to the visions earlier, he might have saved her. Reluctantly, he set about waking his brother.

Although Dean's senses were finely tuned to demons and spirits, he slept peacefully on the nights when it was just he and Sam between cases. Currently, he was dreaming about the cute cocktail waitress he had met a couple of nights before while he and Sam were working that case outside of Philly. If only they could have stayed another day, he was sure he would have enjoyed her company. As usual, Sam wanted to set about looking for their father again as soon as they had wrapped up the case. With all three nearly being killed in the freak car crash after John had been possessed by the Big Bad, their father had taken off again, scared that he was more danger to his boys than protection. "Dean?" The cocktail waitress' soft voice said his name and he felt her touch upon his shoulder. A smile spread across his face.

"Dean?" Dean scowled as the hand on his shoulder shook him a little harder now and he realized that the voice and hand actually belonged to his brother and not the blonde with the endless thighs. He opened one eye and looked pointedly at his brother, "what is it?" His brother had that look on his face again… "get up, we have to go!"

"Ugh! Dude, you've got to get hold of these visions…premonitions…whatever they are! This is ridiculous, man!"

"Dean, you know I can't control them…"

"I know, I know. Where to this time?"

Sam finished packing his bag and said, "I have no idea… we'll figure it out on the way… you drive, I've got to make some calls."

Dean put their bags in the trunk, and then swung into the driver's seat, revving up the engine as Sam was getting an address from someone on the other end of a cell phone. "Tampa? OK… thanks… thanks so much!"

"Tampa?" Dean practically shouted… "As in Florida?"

"Yeah Dean, Tampa, why?" asked Sam impatiently.

"Do you have any idea how far that is?"

"We have to go Dean, and step on it; I don't think we have much time!"

After they got on the highway, Dean broke the silence by asking Sam what his vision had told him and if he at least had a name this time. Lately, all of Sam's visions revolved around people they had never met before. This was a blessing at times, since they didn't always make it on time.

"Dean, can you drive any faster, this is someone we… well… I know."

Dean looked at him pointedly. "Really?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sam said. "Do you remember that girl I asked out a few times before I left for college?"

Dean's focus remained on the road ahead. "Girl? What girl?"

Sam said, "The one that kept blowing me off and telling me she was too old for me and didn't want to get involved with someone who was going away to school. You know the blonde that you thought was so hot... Lauren?"

Dean's eyes remained on the road. He hesitated, "Lauren… name sounds familiar."

"Come on Dean, she was the only chick that wasn't in the grip of something paranormal that I ever saw kick your ass. And you two were forever one upping each other with your smart ass remarks."

"Oh yeah, her," Dean mumbled almost inaudibly.

"My vision was about her… something awful is going to happen to her if we don't get there in time Dean… please!"

Dean's grip on the wheel tightened and he drove faster. "Tell me what we're dealing with here Sam."

Sam relayed his vision to Dean, who was suddenly glad that it was the middle of the night and he was surrounded by darkness. After Sam finished the story, Dean felt all of the blood running from his face and his stomach tightening. Was this ever going to be over? It sounded like the Big Bad that had ripped him apart while occupying John's body. The worst was the end, as Sam told him after the thing was finished with Lauren, he heard it say, "Come on boys… I'm waiting for you." He suddenly felt cold, and knew they were walking into a trap. But, what else could they do?

"Whatever happened to that chick anyway…I mean, after you went to school Sam? I mean, you were pretty torn up about the whole thing. I got the impression you really liked her."

"I did Dean. I thought I was in love. Hell, I don't know, maybe I was. She was so sweet and so…I don't know…normal? I tried to call her a few times, but we lost contact."

"Did you guys ever…you know…do the nasty before you left for school?" Dean asked with a sly grin.

"Nope, it wasn't like that at all. We had dinner, went to the movies a few times as friends before she realized I liked her. She had a lot of male friends. Must be that attitude of hers. All the guys liked her, hell; everybody seemed to love her really…" Sam's voice trailed off as he thought of her.

"Yeah, well that rack and those legs sure didn't hurt any." Dean said, smiling.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Dean. She's in real trouble now!" Sam snapped.

"Don't remind me!" Dean mumbled under his breath, then said louder, "Chill dude! We'll get there, ok?"

**Encounter**

Lauren smiled as she turned up the volume of one of her favorite songs on her way into work. These times were some of her more peaceful ones, when the traffic was moving steadily and she could lose herself in the music she loved so much.

Her taste in music had varied over time. Growing up on country music, she'd rebelled with 80s pop, classic rock and blues once she was old enough to choose her own music and not be at the whim of whatever her parents had on. Today though, was a Rob Thomas day and he was telling her all about how he didn't want to be lonely no more. "No kidding Rob, but who has time for any of that kind of fun anyway?" she smiled to herself.

She whipped into the parking garage and headed toward the building she worked in, smiling up in the sun and admiring the buildings of the city around her on her short walk. She smiled at everyone she saw, whether she knew them or not, it's just who she was. Most smiled back, some even saying hello and calling her by name. Once upstairs, she flipped on the lights of her office and settled down in her chair, taking out her planner and trying to remember what all she had to get done today. It was going to be another late day, but she wanted to get that filing in before the weekend… she had big plans to watch the game with her favorite date. She smiled as she looked up at the pictures on a shelf just above her computer, then glanced at the "We Believe!" Bucs mini poster she had hanging on the wall. She let her fingers run lightly over the face in the picture, then set about the work of the day.

Hours later, one of her co-workers stuck his head in the door to her office. "What are you still doing here?" he asked.

"The SEC never sleeps," she replied. I want to get this filing in before I go home for the weekend. The Buccaneers' first game of the season is Sunday and Angel will kill me if I have to work again."

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked.

"Yeah, go home to that wife of yours! You'd only slow my ass down anyway!" she smiled.

"Be careful when you leave; it's late."

"Hey, we've got 24 hour security around here, it's cool. Besides, I already pulled the car up to the curb outside. I'll be fine. Get out of here and kiss those kids for me, okay?" she chided as she whipped a stress ball at his head. He tossed it back softly, laughing.

Three hours later, she was finally finished. She stretched and yawned. Her legs were cramped, she hadn't had dinner, and it was WAY past her bedtime. Where does the day go, she wondered, smiling sarcastically. Still, she loved what she did, even if it was numbers crunching. Sometimes nothing thrilled her more than finding 50 cents that was out of balance in some huge spreadsheet. Sick bitch, she thought to herself.

She decided she should take the stairs because she felt she needed the exercise. She got down two floors and realized that she had left her cell phone at her desk, so she climbed back up, cursing softly as the door refused to open.

After the next flight of stairs, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and stopped for a second, momentarily panicked. She held her breath and looked around, but saw nothing to be alarmed about so she continued on. Still, she "felt" a presence on the stairs behind and above her and whipped around. Her breath caught as she saw… well nothing really… more of a feeling. Her heart stopped as a voice whispered, "we meet again, Lauren. Only you will not escape unharmed this time. This time I've come for you." The voice originated just inches from her face, she was sure of that, but there was NOTHING there.

"What do you mean, we meet again? Who are you? What do you want?"

"Come now, I didn't leave an impression on you the last time we met? You must be getting old, your memory is fading."

With a sudden sickening in her stomach, Lauren knew exactly who this was. "What do you want?"

"Where is the boy? Where is Sam?"

"Sam?" she asked incredulously. "Sam? Sam Winchester? I haven't seen Sam since he left for school years ago. What do you want with him?" She flew into the wall, face first, collapsing backwards, tumbling down several stairs to the landing below. She struggled to her feet before being thrown up against another wall, pinned there by some invisible force. Then the real pain began, a searing pain in her chest that forced her to cry out, struggling to breathe as an unseen hand seemed to close around her lungs and squeeze the air out of them.

"Tell me where he is and I'll let you live. I'll take Angel next. Think about it Lauren, who will protect Angel once you're gone? Tell me where Sam is."

"I don't know!" she screamed. There was blood now, lots of blood, blood coming from her chest, blood streaming down her face from a crack in her skull somewhere above her temple, blood coming from her mouth. "Leave…Angel…alone." She struggled for each breath, trying to get the words out, seeing all the blood, knowing she was going to die. "Leave…Angel…alone," her voice faded as her body collapsed into a heap on the floor.

Above her a shadow appeared, grinning visibly to itself, knowing its message had already been received. "Come on boys… I'm waiting for you."


	2. The Journey and Too Late

**The Journey**

Dean talked even less now than he used to. Since Dad left again, he had been very quiet most of the time and it weared on Sam. He was worried about his brother, but any attempt that he made to get him to open up always ended with frustration as Dean either made some flip joke or got angry or just walked away. He wanted the old Dean back, the one that gave him shit about everything that he did, the one who screwed with him when they had been in the car for ten hours and Sam's own thoughts were driving him mad. He just wanted his brother back.

Dad's words, though possessed by the Big Bad when he said them, still stung Dean. "They don't need you. Not like you need them!" rang in his ears whenever the self-doubt began to creep in. John had tried to talk to him about it, but Dean had just waved him off with an "I know" when John tried to explain afterward how "important" he was. But he didn't know, not really. His father loved him, his brother loved him, Dean knew that. They really did need him. But not like he loved them, not like he needed them, not like he needed to protect them and keep them safe. His family was all he had left now. His family was the only reason he was still around, because protecting his family was the only thing that kept him sane.

Dean had dealt with enough evil things to know that these things really do read minds and lie, but the words that come out are usually grounded in some sort of truth. Sammy's resentment of him that finally came out at Ellicott's asylum, Dad's words the night he was possessed, his own words to Sam when the shapeshifter had assumed his form… all were based in some truth.

Big Bad was right, Dean did use sarcasm and wit to mask pain; a dark ugly pain that he shared with no one. Dean really had dreams of his own once, a long time ago. Before reality had completely set in and he realized that this would truly be his life, his whole life. Before hunting had hardened him so much that he could shut down everything when necessary to get the job done, he'd had dreams. Hunting was all he really knew how to do anymore. Hunting was the only thing that made sense. Hunting kept him busy, kept his mind focused, kept him from thinking about those lost dreams and all the pain. Hunting and keeping Sam safe. That was his life now. That was his dream now. Big Bad wanted his little brother. Dean didn't know why; it didn't matter why. All that mattered was getting rid of that son of a bitch so that his brother could be safe. Once Sam was safe, really safe, Dean's job would finally be done. And he was tired. Damn tired. **Too** damn tired to care about anything else anymore.

Sam's thoughts still lingered with Lauren. Why would this demon go after her? Why did it think that she would know how to find him? What was the connection? It made no sense. Or was it just a way to get to him, to Dean, to Dad? Did the demon send him his visions somehow? Playing with him and leading him to where the demon wanted him to go?

Lauren was beautiful. She was smart, sassy, and WAY out of Sam's league. He was still basically just a kid and she was several years older. But she had a smile that just made everything ok. He admired the hell out of her. Her father had been in the military, so she'd grown up handling guns, knowing how to defend herself, and knowing how to get the upper hand in nearly every situation. Sam couldn't believe Dean hadn't immediately remembered her. At one point, Dean had even pointed out that if any girl would be a good hunter, it would be her. Sam smiled as he remembered the night Lauren and Dean had met. Lauren and Sam had been having dinner and Sam was walking her home. Dean thought it would be funny to sneak up behind them, realizing how much Sam liked this girl, wanting to check her out for himself, and wanting to screw around with Sam's head. Lauren heard the rustling behind them (Sam hadn't) and before Sam had a chance to turn fully around; Dean was laid out in the grass, grabbing his side and looking down the barrel of a .45 now pointed directly between his eyes. Sam explained to Lauren who Dean was and talked her into putting the gun away. Lauren reached down to help Dean up, but said nothing. She looked at him, her eyes flicking quickly between his, then looked him up and down before turning back toward the direction they had originally been walking and moving on toward her house like nothing had happened.

Dean caught up to them and said, "Aren't you going to apologize?" She turned quickly on one heel to face him, her green eyes locked with his, studying him again. Then she said, "Why should I apologize for **you** being a dumb ass?" Sam grinned as for the first time in his life, he saw Dean absolutely speechless.

"Nice girl Sammy, where'd you find her?" Dean asked as they kept walking. His pace was a little slower and he winced from the pain in his ribs. Sam and Lauren said nothing, just grinning at each other for a moment. Dean's brow furrowed, not liking to be the brunt of someone else's humor. They got back to her house and Lauren invited them in. She brought Sam and Dean each a beer and went back to the fridge to get her own.

"You know," Dean said to Lauren, smiling his classic smile and leaning against the wall, "if you ever get bored with little brother here, I'd be happy to show you around the town a little, show you a good time." No matter how hard Sam tried, he could never get used to Dean hitting on the girls he liked. Lauren turned from the refrigerator, looked at Dean, and smiled. She walked over to him, pulled him away from the wall, then slowly walked around him in a circle, visibly checking him out. She thought for about two seconds then said, "Nice ass. You're a cocky one, but I could deal with that." She took Dean's shirt off, putting her hand on his side, smiling as she saw the hairs stand up, responding to her touch. "You'd probably be great in bed…" She looked up at Dean and he grinned even bigger. Sam knew what was coming, realizing Dean had just been reeled in. "For about 30 seconds. But then we'd have to talk, and…" she sighed visibly, "I'd get bored pretty quick!" Lauren pressed firmly along Dean's ribs, observing the bruise that was already starting to develop there, noting Dean's wince as she did so. "Now quit being a baby, they're not even cracked!" She flipped his shirt back to him and sat down at the table with Sam, clinking their beer bottles together as she winked at him, laughing. God, Sam missed that laugh.

**Too Late**

They had stopped for a map when they got into town so they could find the building Lauren worked at in the maze of downtown skyscrapers. Since Sam's vision had shown she was attacked at work, he wanted to start there since it was already late the next night by the time they got into Tampa.

When they pulled up to the building, Sam was relieved to see no police or ambulance activity in the area. Dean suggested they go up the stairwells to avoid drawing the attention of security and maybe head off the demon before Lauren even encountered it. He took one stairwell and Sam took another. Each started cautiously up the stairs, weapons drawn, muscles tense, ready for anything.

Dean didn't like it, not one bit. They should be together. He couldn't protect Sam if he encountered the demon, but Sam was so worried that they'd be too late that he'd insisted they separate to cover more ground quickly. Suddenly, Dean's phone rang, startling him. It was Sam, breathing heavy. "Dean. Southwest stairwell, 3rd floor, hurry!" His heart racing, he exited the stairwell he was in as quietly as he could to avoid rousing the attention of security and sprinted to the one Sam had directed him to. As he started to run up the stairs, he paused halfway up the second flight. It was there that he first saw the blood. He drew his gun again, then heard Sam yell, "He's not here Dean, he's gone. Oh God!" Dean heard sirens outside. Sam had already called 911.

"She's still breathing," Sam said, his breaths shallow and rapid. Dean rounded the corner. There was a body heaped on the floor and more blood than he thought one body could actually contain all around. Dean saw Sam's face, pale, holding Lauren's head up as he had listened for her breathing. "Dean, I don't think she's going to make …" Dean hushed him with a look as he checked their surroundings to ensure that they were truly alone.

If it weren't for the ID badge, Sam wouldn't have recognized Lauren. Her face was swollen and bruised, her hair was starting to cake with blood, and her body looked like a rag doll that had been tossed aside by a child who didn't want to play with it anymore. His breath caught and Dean looked at him as he said, "What the…?"

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"This looks like, no, it can't be." Sam said.

"What?" Dean asked again. Sam cocked his head to one side. "It looks like the chain you used to wear, with the shield and the lion on it. Dad said it was for protection. The one he gave you when you were ten because you kept getting hurt all the time."

"Huh," Dean said curiously as he looked at the pendant Sam held in his hand, secured to a chain wrapped around Lauren's neck. "That's weird. Maybe Dad just found it at some pawn shop and made the protection story up. I wasn't always as graceful as I am today," he said, feigning a smile.

"Dean, I've never seen another chain like…" Sam's voice caught in his throat and the tears burned his eyes, blinding him for a moment before he blinked them back. "Dean, she can't, it's my fault." He was about to say something else, but stopped as he heard the sirens very close by now.

"Go find her office and try to get some answers, clues to what he wants, where he may have gone." Dean told him. Sam looked at him like he was nuts and started to shake his head no. "You saw it all in your vision, I don't know what her office looks like Sam. She might be married now with a different name." He stopped, and then said, "Besides, you're too close to this right now. Focus! I'll find out which hospital they're taking her to and meet you there later and see what I can dig up on that end. Go!"

Sam was halfway up to the top level of the building by the time the paramedics got to Lauren. Dean went up a floor, picked the lock to get into the main building, and then went to the other stairwell to come down. He approached the paramedics wheeling Lauren into a waiting ambulance. "Oh my God, Lauren?" he asked, feigning shock. "I knew something was wrong when she didn't call and didn't come home. What happened? I'm following you to the hospital," he said, running back to the Impala for added emphasis. He didn't need to be here when the cops showed up and started asking questions.

Sam pulled the EMF reader out, but got nothing on it. He checked the top floor, then worked his way down, carefully combing each level looking for something familiar from his vision that would tell him he was on the right floor or a blip on the EMF. Nada.

Dean made his way to the nurses' station at the hospital where they had brought Lauren in. The doctor came out to see him, his face very grave. "I suggest you call the rest of her family. She probably won't make it. They may want to say goodbye." Dean blinked, started to say something, then stopped. "I don't know who to call," he said quietly. It was going to be a while before they would know anything, he was told, so he made his way to the cafeteria for some coffee.

Some time later, he rounded the corner to the nurses' station and inquired about Lauren again. "Like I told him," she said, pointing over her shoulder. "She'll be in a room in ICU in a few minutes."

"Who?" Dean asked, looking around, seeing no one. "That's funny," the nurse said as she looked around. "I guess he left. Anyway, go down that hall and make your first left. Her doctor will fill you in and then you can sit with her if you want."

As he entered the intensive care unit, the same grave faced doctor found him again. "She's lost a lot of blood and she's bleeding internally. At this point, we're just trying to keep her comfortable. She probably won't even wake up. She's in ICU 3." He put a hand on Dean's shoulder, "I'm sorry son."

Dean slowly walked into the room. God, he hated hospitals. He hated the smell, he hated the pain, the suffering, the death. He took a deep breath and walked over to the bed, pulling up a chair as he looked down on the face so battered, so bruised. The doctors had cleaned away the blood, but she still looked broken. He glanced down at the protection pendant that hung around her neck, then brushed the hair back and away from her eyes.

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch personally for this, Lauren," he said, his voice cracking. He blinked back tears as his lips began to quiver and his hand shook slightly. "I promise you that!"


	3. Angel and Babysitting?

**Angel**

Dean Winchester knew that he had to keep it together. Sam was obviously fragile enough at this point and he didn't need to add to it. Focus on the job at hand, he thought. It's a job. If Lauren does survive this somehow, she's going to need protection in case the demon comes back for her. And the only way to truly protect her, to protect anyone, was to focus on the job. Treat it like any other job.

Protection. What a joke. He looked at the pendant again. Of course, he ought to know by now that nothing that works on everything else ever worked on the demon.

He pulled out his cell phone, dreading making the call. He took a deep breath and punched in Sam's number, then send. Sam picked up on the first ring. "Dean, how is she?"

"It doesn't look good Sam, but she's alive right now. What did you find out there?"

"Nothing, I mean, not really. No readings on the EMF, not a trace anywhere. Dean, you need to come get me; I need to see her."

"Sam, I don't think I should leave her alone here, in case he tries to finish the job. Call a cab. Tell them to bring you to Tampa General." He hesitated. "I know it's hard Sam, but you have to try to treat this like any other case. We have to work all the angles, check out every lead. You know the drill. Did you find Lauren's office?"

"Yeah, I found it. Pretty typical office, you know, a few pictures, she's apparently a football fan, and a Star Wars collection. I didn't know she liked Star Wars." Sam's voice trailed off. "Wow, she's still beautiful. It looks like she's really…happy" he said as he looked at the pictures on Lauren's desk. "This isn't right, what could she have done, why is the demon using her to get to me? She's got… this is all my fault!"

"Stop it Sam; blaming yourself isn't going to help her. Just get over here when you're done there, alright?" Dean hung up the phone. This didn't feel right, he thought. He wasn't lying when he said he didn't think she should be left alone. With what the nurse said about someone asking about her, then there being nobody there, he wasn't entirely sure the demon wasn't lurking around, waiting for a chance to finish the job. He felt the cold steel of the Colt tucked against his back. Once Sam had told him about the vision, he decided he would have it on him at all times, just in case.

He sighed deeply, looking around the room. Lauren's purse had probably been put into the little closet in the corner. He found it, opened it up, and chuckled lightly, shaking his head at the makeup, perfume, and lipstick. He pushed aside a cell phone and some other electronic gizmos, then fished out her wallet. He found the typical stuff: driver's license, credit cards, cash, a couple of movie tickets, pictures. He thumbed through them, a little curious. He didn't recognize anyone in the pictures. There were a few pictures of what were probably friends of hers with their families, a couple of kids' pictures, and a couple of pictures of a little girl. He noticed something slightly frayed under one of the pictures and pulled it out.

He remembered the picture well. It was taken at one of those stupid 4 for $1.00 picture booths you see at the mall or the local carnival. She'd insisted on keeping all four of the pictures, but this one had always been his favorite because of the look on her face. He loved that look, the smile, the complete trust and love. And she was looking at him with that face. He was shocked that she still had the picture at all, let alone keeping it in her wallet. He frowned then. "Sammy," he said, half to himself. "This isn't your fault. It might be mine."

Nothing he found gave him any kind of indication as to what was going on. He sat back down in the chair to wait for Sam. It was daylight now and he was tired. He pushed his palms into his eyes, willing them to stay open, trying to think.

"Who are you?" Dean looked up and saw eyes nearly as green as his own. Lauren's eyes, only it wasn't Lauren. It was a little girl. "Who are you?" she asked again, a little more persistently this time. There was a woman about Lauren's age behind her who put her hands on the little girl's shoulders and said, "Angel, don't be rude. This is probably just a friend of your mom's."

"I'm Dean," he said, shaking the lady's hand, looking down at Angel.

"Kandace" the lady said. "What happened?"

"I'm not really sure," Dean said. "Apparently it happened at her office." Angel pushed past him, approaching her mother's bed. She was visibly distraught. "I'll give you some time with her," he said, leaving the room. He tried not to pace up and down outside the room. Obviously she's moved on, he thought, and was a little surprised at the jealousy he felt.

Kandace came out of the room. "Can I call anyone?" Dean asked. "Her husband should probably know. I'm sure he'd want to be here."

"Husband?" Kandace laughed. "Lauren never got married." She smiled as she glanced in on Angel, sitting next to her mom on the hospital bed. "You assume because she has a little girl that she's married. "No, she always says Angel was her surprise blessing. Angel is her focus, and now…" Kandace stopped mid sentence.

"Is she ok in there? I mean, Lauren's pretty beat up. That can't be easy."

"That kid is wise beyond her years Dean. Lauren's done such a fantastic job with her. That little girl is her whole life. Angel will be alright. She'd never forgive me if I dragged her out of there. Would you mind keeping an eye on her while I go call the office and let them know I won't be in today?"

"Sure," Dean said. He walked back into the room, and heard Angel talking to Lauren like there was nothing wrong. "Mind if I sit here in the room with you for a little while?" Angel shook her head. Dean pulled the chair a little closer to the bed. Angel was holding Lauren's hand. Dean said, "You know, I think she knows you're here, and I'm sure that makes her feel better." He didn't know what else to say to comfort the girl.

She lifted her head and looked at Dean. He was shocked at how much she looked like Lauren. He expected to see tears in her eyes, but there were none. "She's not going to die," Angel said, smiling then. Dean studied her face, then leaned against the bed, trying to decide if he should be the one to tell her the truth. Angel reached over and took his hand, gasping as soon as she'd done so. She started breathing hard, like a panic attack, scrunching her eyes closed, and gripping Dean's hand harder and harder. He tried to pull his hand away, but she wouldn't let it go.

A few minutes later, Angel's breathing started to slow. She lifted her head slowly to look at Dean, her eyes wild. "You!" she said accusingly. "You're going to kill her!" Dean shook his head no, but Angel kept on. "She's not going to die now, from this, but she will die... to save you." Dean yanked his hand away, breathing heavy, trying to make sense of everything, but nothing made sense right now. He desperately tried to recover his composure, remembering that this was just a little girl, Lauren's little girl, and he didn't want to frighten her any more than she already was.

**Babysitting?**

Sam Winchester practically ran from the nurses' station to the ICU, slowing as he got to the room Lauren was in. The door was nearly closed, only slightly ajar. He pushed it open a little, sticking his head inside. He saw Dean sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed, looking confused and scared for a split second, then nothing. Sam blinked; his eyes must be playing tricks on him because he's so tired. He opened the door further, looking at Dean again, but he looked normal. As normal as he ever did on no sleep anyhow.

"Dean?" he said cautiously, noticing the little girl sitting on the bed. This must be the little girl from the pictures in Lauren's office. "How is she?" he asked, tilting his head toward Lauren before looking at Dean. Dean just shook his head no. The little girl turned to face him, then smiled and said, "She's going to be fine. Just fine!" Sam took a step back as he looked at the miniature Lauren smiling up at him.

Dean stood up, looking at Angel pointedly and said, "I'm going to stretch my legs. Can I get you some water Angel? Want to go for a walk or something?" Angel shook her head no and said, "Mommy needs me here to help her get better." Dean motioned Sam outside the room for a more private talk.

"Sam, the doctors say she's not going to make it."

Sam's face fell. "But Angel. God, Dean she can't be more than five years old. What about her dad, where is he?"

"I don't know," Dean said, "Lauren's friend Kandace said she wasn't married; I get the impression the guy's not around. There's something else."

"What?" Sam asked.

"Before they put her in ICU, the nurse said somebody had asked about Lauren. But there was nobody there Sam. I think it might be the demon, lurking around here to finish the job. I don't think we should leave Lauren alone, just in case."

"**_You_** don't think she's going to die, do you?" asked Sam.

"I don't know Sammy. I don't have a crystal ball. But something's up with that kid of hers, I think she might… I can't explain it. She just seems to KNOW Lauren won't die, despite what the doctors are saying."

"And she could just be a clueless little girl that doesn't really understand any of this," Sam said empathetically.

"Spend five minutes with her Sam. She's far from clueless. I think you two will get along just great." Dean said sarcastically. "Listen, I say we take shifts. One of us in Lauren's room at all times."

"That sounds good. I'll take the first one, you look like hell." Sam said. Dean flipped him off, then saw Kandace walking toward them, shaking her head.

Dean said, "Kandace, this is my brother Sam. Sam, Kandace. She's taking care of Angel."

"Look guys, how well do you know Lauren?" Kandace asked.

"Honestly, I haven't seen her in a few years," Sam said. Dean just shrugged. "Same here."

"I hate to do this to you," Kandace began.

Five minutes later, Dean was still trying to talk Sam out of it. "Come on man, a kid, a five year old? We can't take care of her Sam. What if that demon comes back here after Lauren, how are we going to protect Angel? She doesn't need to know about stuff like this. She's too young!"

"Dean, I don't see what other choice we have. Kandace can't take care of her, her dad needs her in Mississippi. He just had a heart attack!" 

"Damn it! Damn it!" Dean said. Sam shushed him with a look, his head cocking toward Angel. "Damn it!" Dean said again under his breath. "Ok Sammy, you get first shift!"

"Dean?" Kandace's voice came a few minutes later. "Get Lauren's purse. I'll drive you to get her car from the office so that you both have transportation. I'll put the car seat I keep for Angel in your car before I go."

Dean laughed. "A car seat? In the Impala? That ain't happening in this lifetime lady!" Kandace looked at him, puzzled. The extra car would help in case something came up.

On the drive over, Dean thought maybe it would be a good idea to get some more information from Kandace before she left town. He suggested they stop for lunch, if it wouldn't' be too much of a delay to Kandace. Since her flight didn't leave for a few hours, she agreed. During their conversation, Dean discovered that Lauren's parents had died when Angel was still just a baby.

"What about Angel's father? Does he have a good relationship with her? Do he and Lauren get along?" Dean asked.

"I don't really know anything about him," Kandace said. "Lauren doesn't really talk much about her life. She's a great listener. You know, now that I think about it, it seems like she always asked me about my life, my feelings, and never really talked about her own. Except that one time…" Kandace's face softened as she thought of the memory.

"What time?" Dean asked.

"It was her birthday and a friend of ours offered to baby sit Angel so I could take her out to celebrate. She works so hard and spends as much time as she can with that little girl; I just felt like she needed a break, you know? So we went out, and she had a few too many drinks, and opened up a little bit. She's never talked about her past. She got this far off look in her eyes and started talking about this one guy she used to be with. I don't know if it was Angel's father or somebody else. But the sun rose and set with this guy as far as I could tell. When I asked her what happened and why they weren't still together, she just said something about how life never gives you what you really need, and love sucks, and who needs a guy to be happy anyway and clammed up on me. That night was the most I ever heard about any guy she's ever been with. I think he really broke her heart."

After lunch, they headed over to the garage Lauren normally parked in and Kandace walked Dean up to Lauren's car. Dean gave her the best smile he could muster (completely fake, of course) as she left him there. Ten minutes later, he found himself still sitting in the driver's seat of an SUV. He looked around him, about the same way he would in any house that he was expecting to find an angry spirit. He sighed heavily and turned over the ignition, driving back to the hospital in a less than agreeable mood.

He walked back to Lauren's room and found Sam grinning from ear to ear as he chatted with Angel. "Look at her Dean, just look at her," he said, motioning toward Lauren still lying on the bed. Something was different, but he wasn't sure…. "Look at her color Dean, she's not nearly as pale as she was and the doctors, well, they've mumbled miracle on more than one occasion. I mean, she's not out of the woods, but they're pretty hopeful now!"

Dean looked at Lauren and realized that Sam was right. He tried hard to hide the relief that he felt wash over him at the hope that she would live. He looked at Sam, with that stupid grin he'd had since he was six years old. For half a second, he looked like the little brother with his two front teeth missing again and Dean chuckled. "I'm going to Lauren's to get some sleep."

"Angel, do you want to go to your house with Dean and catch a nap?" Dean shot Sam a look before the sentence was out of his mouth.

"I don't nap," Angel said matter-of-factly. "I want to stay here with Mom for now."

"Ok," Sam practically giggled. "I'm going to say goodbye to my brother. I'll be right outside this door, ok?"

Angel looked at Dean. "I told you she'd be ok, didn't I?"

Dean smiled slightly. "Yes, you did."

"What I said earlier," she started. "I'm sorry if I upset you. It's not your fault. Mommy's always been pretty stubborn."

Dean started out of the room, thinking to himself, kid, you have no idea!

Sam stepped out directly behind him, looking at him curiously, obviously wondering what Angel was talking about. Dean shot him a don't ask look in return. "Isn't she great?" Sam asked a moment later.

Dean eyed him suspiciously. "Who?" he asked.

"Angel," Sam said. "Lauren's daughter, Angel".

"Yeah, I guess," Dean said, shaking his head.

"Dean, I think… I don't know how to say this, but I think Angel may have… some… abilities. You know, kind of like me."

Dean took a deep breath. "Yeah, I thought so. What kind?"

"Well, I'm not quite sure, but I think she has some sort of healing ability. She kept holding Lauren's hand and just, I don't know, she just looked like she was really focusing hard. She didn't say anything for a really long time. Then, I don't know, Lauren just kind of got a little better, you know?" Sam hesitated, then said, "In my vision, the demon threatened Angel when he attacked Lauren, I wonder if he knows about her abilities."

"If that's the case," Dean sighed, "then she's in as much danger as Lauren is."


	4. The Waiting Game and Dean and Lauren

**The Waiting Game  
**

Kandace had given Dean directions to Lauren's house, along with her house key, before she left for the airport. "No sense in spending money on a hotel," she'd said. Dean wasn't quite sure what had made her trust he and Sam, but it seemed that she did.

Dean dozed for a couple of hours, but he wanted to check out the house before it was time to go relieve Sam and take over at the hospital. He pulled his clothes out of his duffle bag to get dressed. He felt the familiar bulge toward the bottom of the bag, just a hint, but he knew it was there. He sighed and fished his way into the hidden area he had in the duffle bag, pulling from it an old, dusty jewelry box.

Dean sat on the bed and took a deep breath before slowly opening the box. He snorted to himself as the hinges creaked. It had been a while since he'd opened it. He wasn't sure why he even still bothered to carry this thing around. He should have sold or pawned it years ago. He didn't need it anymore. Inside was a single-stoned diamond ring. This was a ring that belonged in someone else's life, not his. A ring from a time when Dean had dreams of a life of his own, a life without hunting, without demons, without spirits. A life he had all but forgotten. It was a ring he had bought for the one woman he had been willing to tell his father to go to hell for. It was a ring for her. The night he had planned on giving it to her, he went to her house and she was gone. No phone call, no note, nothing. The house was empty. She'd just walked right out of his life without an explanation. And now, here he was, in her house, with her laying in a hospital bed fighting for her life after going up against the very thing he had been trained to kill since he was a kid. He felt the tears building, starting to burn his eyes. This is pointless Dean, he thought to himself, snapping the ring box shut and burying it back in its hiding space.

The house revealed zero clues. It was as normal a house as one could find. A kid's art on the refrigerator, a dozen Disney movies in the entertainment center, her pictures on the walls, and in Lauren's office. Yet, everywhere Dean turned, he felt Lauren's presence. Her perfume lingered in the bathroom, her pillow smelled of her shampoo, her house was full of her echo, her presence.

For the next few days, Dean and Sam took turns sitting with Lauren in her hospital room. Angel spent most of this time with Sam and would visit Lauren when Sam took his shift. They were bonding quickly and Dean was often the brunt of their jokes when they would show up for Sam's shift. Angel definitely picked up her mother's sarcastic wit. Lauren's condition continued to improve steadily and the doctors were sure she would wake up soon. As fate would have it, this happened on Dean's watch.

Lauren woke up to find Dean Winchester's head in her lap, sleeping peacefully, and holding one of her hands in his. She smiled, happy to see him. It had been so long; she had so much to tell him. She ran her fingers softly through his hair, starting to rub his head. He smiled in his sleep. God, she'd missed that smile, that mischievous grin that told her he was up to no good, and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

And then she remembered. This can't be Dean. It must be a dream. She inhaled sharply. This woke him. He looked up at her, relieved she had finally come out of it. Lauren began gasping for air, pushing at her eyes, trying desperately to wake up. Then he spoke. "Lauren? Lauren, it's ok, it's me, Dean! Lauren?"

This was no dream, it was a nightmare! Lauren stared at him wildly. She tried to get off the bed, then whimpered as the pain shot through her body. She looked at the tubes going into her arms through needles and began to reach for them. Dean grabbed her arm suddenly.

"Lauren, it's ok. I'm here; you're safe. I'll protect you. I'll keep you safe!"

"You're not Dean," Lauren yelled. "Dean Winchester is dead. I saw the police file. Dean is dead. Get out of here. I'll call the nurse!" She was breathing heavily, overtaxing her already worn body.

Dean's face fell. "Lauren, it's ok. It's me sweetheart, it really is. That file was a mistake; it's a long story. I promise you, I will explain, but you've got to calm down first. You've been badly hurt, you need to relax, please!"

Lauren looked at him again, then said, "I don't believe you, how do I know you're not…"

"Lauren," Dean said slowly, "it's me, Dean." His eyes began to tear up. _How could she be so terrified of me?_ He took her face in one of his hands. "Remember the lake? The Italian restaurant you used to drag me to? The pendant I gave you?"

She looked up at then and smiled, knowing that it really was Dean. He smiled at her and said, "You scared me. I… I didn't think you were going to make it. Don't ever do that again!"

Then Lauren frowned as he withdrew his hand and she saw every defense mechanism Dean Winchester had go right back into its normal place. He had dropped those defenses when he was worried about her. Now that she was going to be ok, he snapped right back into protection mode, protecting everyone he cared about, but above all, his own pride and dignity. He was angry at her, furious actually, and it was written all over his face.

"Some protection, eh?" she said, trying to lighten the moment. "It's good to see you alive, Dean. I thought you were dead."

"Yeah, well, we thought the same thing about you for a few days there," he said.

"We should talk," Lauren said. "We have a lot to talk about."

Dean looked out the window. He didn't want to do this. "There's nothing to say," he replied coldly. "You've moved on, I've moved on. It's pretty simple, really."

"Dean, come on! It's not simple at all."

Dean turned on her suddenly. "You never told Sam… why?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Are you kidding me Dean? What was I supposed to say? I'm sorry Sam, you're cute and all, but I'm in love with your brother?"

"Love?" Dean practically spat. "Love? Yeah, you really loved me, I could tell. That's why you just disappeared without a trace right? Do you know how that felt, do you have any clue?"

"Dean, you don't understand, I…"

"I don't want to know, ok? Just forget about it." He turned back toward the window, shutting down again.

Lauren sighed. "Dean…" she began.

"Lauren, oh my God, you're awake!" Sam said as he walked into the room. "I'm so glad you're ok!"

"Sam!" Lauren said, grinning broadly at him. "God, it's so good to see you again. How are you?"

"Better now that you're going to be okay. Damn Lauren, you scared the hell out of us! Oh, we met Angel, she's beautiful, and smart, and wow, she got your sense of humor," he laughed.

"Where is she?" Lauren asked.

"Oh, the nurse grabbed her when we got here. Took her for ice cream. She's going to be so happy to see you awake," Sam said.

"So, what exactly are you two doing in my hospital room after all these years?" Lauren asked.

"Well, we…" Sam stammered.

"Don't even try to cover," Lauren said. "It's good that Angel's not here right now; she doesn't need to know about this. You're here because you think whatever did this to me is something that you normally, how do I put it? 'Handle'?"

Dean and Sam exchanged a look before Dean turned back to the window he had been staring out of since Sam walked into the room.

"I think you're right. And Sam, he's after you," she said resolutely.

"Lauren, what are you saying? What exactly is it that you think we…" Sam's voice trailed off as the door opened and Angel came bounding in.

"Mommy, you're awake! I knew you'd be ok!" she yelled.

Sam sighed and Dean continued staring out the window.

**Dean and Lauren  
**

In the last few months before Sam had gone off to school and the "normal" life he wanted, he and Lauren had become good friends. Despite the initial butt kicking and insults that Lauren had handed him, Dean liked her. She was tough, sexy, and kept up with his sarcasm better than most people could. The three of them spent a lot of time together at her place when John was out of town, since Sam wasn't old enough to drink yet. Most times Dean tagged along as Dad still insisted that Dean not let Sam out of his sight for more than a couple of hours.

Dean knew Sam really liked Lauren, but it seemed he was getting nowhere with her in the romance department. He tried to ignore the attraction he himself was starting to feel toward her. Dean felt she liked him too, but it was more of a gut feeling than anything else. If she was attracted to him, she only showed it like two kids on a playground, pulling each other's hair or tossing insults at each other. On the weekends, she would invite them over, often insisting they spend the night since they'd been drinking.

When Sam left for school, he asked Dean to keep an eye on Lauren for him, make sure she was ok. "No problem Sammy," he'd smiled mischievously, but Sam had just smacked him in the back of the head with a "get your mind out of the gutter" scowl, then laughed himself. Dean would call her every few days, making a joke out of it, telling her he was just doing his brotherly duty and all. She was always nice, told him she was fine, and said he ought to come by some time if he felt like it.

John had left on another hunt and had been gone nearly a week. His hunts were getting longer and longer and Dean was spending more and more time alone these days. He was going stir crazy with no one to talk to and went for a drive. He didn't really remember driving to her place, but next thing he knew, he was knocking on Lauren's door. She smiled as she undid the dead bolt and let him in, asking him if he wanted a beer. He sat down at the kitchen table as he had so many times when Sam was still in town.

Lauren seemed sad too, and Dean asked her what was wrong. She said she missed her friends that had gone off to school, but that's what happens when you're younger mentally than you are physically and hung out with a bunch of younger people. They started doing shots and playing cards to numb the loneliness they both felt, but neither one talked about it. Lauren had just beaten him at poker again and was rubbing his face in it, when he looked up at her and said in the most serious voice he could muster, slurring his speech a bit, "So, what ever happened between you and my brother? What are your intentions toward him?"

She laughed and said, "We're just friends Dean. Sam's a great kid. He's sweet, smart, funny, but I never fall for the really nice guys so it could never work out."

"Meh, you're way out of his league anyway. You need someone like me, someone that can take care of you, look after you, treat you to the life you deserve." She looked at him briefly, for a split second thinking he was serious, until she saw the trademark grin that told her this was just one of his flirtatious lines.

"You're sweet Dean, even if you try to hide it behind sarcasm and flirting," she said, mussing his hair as she got up to get another bottle from the cupboard. "I see a lot of myself in you. You and I are very much alike, you know," she said as she sat back down next to him at the table, refilling his shot glass.

"Nah, if I had those tits, I'd never leave the house!" he grinned back at her.

She laughed deeply for a moment. "It's a shame Sam doesn't appreciate all that you do for him, really. I don't think he even sees most of it, but I do," she said quietly.

"Yeah, well, after our Mom died, I kind of took it on myself to take care of him. Lord knows he needs it, the klutz!" Dean quipped.

"It's more than that, and we both know it. You miss him, I can tell," Lauren said quietly.

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled. She'd read him well. Sam was away at school and Dad was off on a hunt, and Dean hated being alone. He downed the shot, then rotated the now empty glass under his fingers and it spun, falling off the table. He and Lauren both reached for it, nearly bumping heads and landing in a heap on the floor, laughing hysterically.

"Tada!" Lauren laughed, holding the shot glass up in triumph, having caught it before it hit the floor and broke. She started to untangle herself from him, laughing again when she fell after trying to get up. Dean caught her before she would have landed unceremoniously on her butt, laughing too, then hesitating for a split second before pulling his hand out from under her and setting her back down on the floor. Lauren caught his eyes on hers, then looked down again, her hair falling around her face in a silhouette cast by the light from the overhead fixture. Dean pushed the hair back away from her face and studied her soft features before he leaned in to kiss her.

She hesitated at first, conflicted, but then gave in to what they both had been fighting for months. After the first kiss, she whispered, "Well, it's about damn time!" then leaned in for another. The next day, they found themselves still wrapped in each other's arms, both feeling a little guilty.

Lauren was the first to address the issue. "We were drunk Dean, and worse yet, lonely. No one can blame us for what happened," she'd said.

"I shouldn't have. He really likes you; you're his…" he'd started.

"I'm not his girlfriend," she cut him off, "but I'm giving you an out, if you want one. Just chalk it up to one too many shots and leave it at that," she said, turning toward the doorway leading out of her bedroom.

"God Lauren, I don't know what to do. Sam's my brother, you know? I don't want to hurt him."

"I know, and I don't either. But Dean, at some point, you're going to have to lead your own life, and let your brother have his own as well. How long are you going to go on sacrificing your own happiness for your family? And what cost are you going to have to personally pay for them?"

He'd never really looked at it that way before. He had always just done whatever it takes to keep the family safe, keep some semblance of normal for Sam, despite the life their father had brought them up in. Give Sam a bit of the childhood he'd never really been able to have himself. Protecting his family was all he knew how to do, all he'd been trained to do. A life of his own? That wasn't what he was about. "You don't understand about our family, Lauren. It's a long story, but I appreciate the thought."

She handed him his jacket, frowning a little, then smiling. "Yeah well, like I told you the first time we met, I knew you'd be great in bed! At least now I know, tiger!" She mussed his hair again, grinning. He growled at her playfully in response, just before realizing her grin was a fake one as she'd turned away from him again, walking toward the front door.

He caught her elbow, turning her to face him again, saying, "Hey, don't be like that." He studied her eyes. They were misty, like she was about to cry. "I know what you're doing; you're covering, trying to make this ok for me." She turned her eyes from his, blinking under his steady gaze. "You were right about one thing," he said. "We really are alike in some ways. Now who's sacrificing their own happiness?"

"Hey, it's what I do best you know? Besides, it takes two, and you're not willing to take a shot, so what's a girl to do?" She walked to the front door, opened it to let him out, and he followed her.

_Keep walking Dean, _he told himself_. This is trouble you don't need, trouble Sam doesn't need. Keep walking; it's not fair to Sam. Dad will kill me! Don't stop; keep walking.  
_

He felt his hand reach up and close the door, but he was still in the house. He took a deep breath. "You and Sam never?" he asked again.

"Not so much as a kiss," she said. He took her in his arms again, and lost himself in a kindred spirit who understood him better than he understood himself, even though he'd told her pretty much nothing about his life, his family, or his past.

Their time together was amazing, with him only going home long enough to get a change of clothes or if Dad was home. They did everything together, she never asked too many questions, but was always there for him, believing in him, and trusting him. He hid the relationship from his father, knowing he wouldn't approve of him developing any kind of attachment to someone outside the family or the small circle of fellow hunters they met along the way. They reveled in their time together, both happier than they had ever been. But then, nothing good lasts forever.

0000000000

Dean Winchester was angry. If anyone had asked him, he would have denied it, but he was fuming. Lauren was supposed to meet him hours ago at the local bar they had hung out at many times before heading back to her place. He'd called her house and cell, no answer. He was walking to his car to head home when he heard a rustling of papers coming from the shadows near the back corner of the place. Probably a cat, but he decided to check it out. As he crept up to the dumpster where the noise was coming from, he heard a sniffle and a soft whimper. He looked around the corner and there she was, bruised and bleeding, scared and alone, and crying as silently as she could. She didn't see or hear him coming.

"Lady, are you alright?" he'd asked. She screamed, obviously thinking her attacker had come back for seconds.

"Please don't, no more, please" she'd sobbed, her eyes shut tight. "I swear, I won't call the cops, please just leave me alone."

He noticed her torn clothing, and blood coming from places it shouldn't be coming from. Then he realized who she was. "Lauren?" he said. "Oh my God, what happened? Let me help you get up, you need to go to the hospital."

"No," she said, "no hospitals! I'm fine." She tried to stand and immediately collapsed again, unable to put any weight on her right leg, holding her side. Dean could see a huge bruise developing there through a rip in her blouse.

"Listen, you're in no shape to go anywhere else, that's for sure. Let me get you some help!" he said.

Once again, she shook her head no, firmly standing her mental ground, resolute in her decision.

He looked around, scanning the area quickly. "Alright, look, we're closer to my place than yours. My dad's out of town; let me take you there. I have a first aid kit," he'd put his hand on her head as she was sweating profusely. She pulled back from his touch like his hands were poisonous. "God, you're burning up!" he said and scooped her up, not taking no for an answer.

The first thing she'd done is ask to take a shower. He tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't hear anything of it, vehemently denying being sexually attacked. She claimed it had been a mugging and that they had just beaten her up when she wouldn't initially give them her wallet and jewelry. She said this with eyes cast downward, unable to look at him, and Lauren always looked you in the face when she spoke to you. Finally, he relented, helping her into the shower where she then removed her clothing and tossed it over the curtain. She'd never hidden her body from him before. He told her to call him when she was done, but never left the room as he was afraid she would collapse again and he wanted to keep her from hurting herself further. Her quiet sobbing and moans of pain and anguish during the hour she spent in the shower would haunt him afterward.

For the next three days he'd watched over her. He bandaged the wounds she would allow him to, tried to bring her fever down with meds and cool washcloths, and tried to comfort her when she woke up screaming in the middle of the night from the nightmares. He knew that she was reliving the rape every time. She'd look around wildly, kicking and punching at him when he'd grab her arms to keep her from flinging herself off the bed, collapsing in tears once he'd convinced her it was him and she realized he wasn't her attacker, then rolling over and curling up into a fetal position and sobbing until she fell asleep again.

Finally the fever broke and she began to sleep a little better, not waking up every hour to the nightmares. It was then that Dean allowed himself to cry. He cried for the semblance of safety Lauren still had until that night, the self-confidence some bastard had taken from her behind a bar she had only gone to in order to meet him, the light in her eyes that had gone out with the attack. Her eyes were now empty, and reminded Dean of his father's eyes in the years following his mother's death.

Slowly, Lauren recovered from the physical wounds that her attacker had left on her, but the emotional scars would take a lot longer. Dean spent as much time with her as she would allow, only leaving when she would kick him out, sending him home when she felt she was being a burden or knew his Dad was coming home so that there wouldn't be any static there. She would only let him in so far, pulling away when he'd try to kiss her. "You don't want damaged goods," she'd said. "You deserve better than that," finally admitting without saying out loud what they'd both known had happened. "You should go Dean, just go on with your life, and find happiness with someone who isn't broken. You deserve that much."

He looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I don't want to be with someone else; I want you!"

"It's a nice thought Dean," she'd answered, "but be realistic, ok?"

"I am being realistic. More importantly, I'm being honest. Please, let me help you through this. I want to be there for you; be the one you can trust. I want you, no, I **need** you. Don't walk out of my life now, not after…" he stopped.

"After what?" she'd asked, her green eyes focusing on his.

"Lauren… I love you." his eyes glistened with tears as he'd said it, and she took his head in her own hands, leaning him against her shoulder, tears of her own falling in his hair. He'd finally broken through the walls she'd tried so hard to build around her broken heart.

"I love you too, Dean," she whispered softly against his hair. "I love you too."

"Here," he said, sitting up suddenly and pulling the chain he always wore from around his neck. "Take this."

She looked at him curiously as he secured the pendant with the red lion emblazoned on the silver shield around her neck. "What is it?"

"It's a protection pendant," he said. "The lion is the king of all beasts. He'll watch out for you whenever we're apart, which, I hope, will be rare," he smiled up at her. "He'll take care of you; make sure nothing bad ever happens to you again."

Lauren woke up from the dream, remembering a lifetime ago, feeling the pendant still around her neck, all these years later. She took it in her hand, rubbing it subconsciously, wishing it could heal emotional wounds and somehow make Dean see the truth.


	5. Interference and Brother vs Brother

**Interference  
**

Sam and Dean stood watch outside Lauren's room as she slept; Angel had fallen asleep in the chair beside her bed. Sam seemed to be overly concerned about his appearance, and Dean called him on it as he was slicking down his hair for the umpteenth time.

"Dude, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing, why?" Sam replied.

Dean just shook his head.

"Dean?" Sam asked. "How long was Lauren awake before I came in? Things seemed…tense."

"Just a couple minutes," Dean answered. "She's been basically in a coma for days after having been attacked by something supernatural, how did you think she'd feel? Of course, waking up to my face at her bedside should have done her wonders," Dean snickered. Sam shot him a look, to which Dean replied, "Hey, I am the better looking brother!"

Sam just laughed, "Whatever dude. Why did you tell her about what we do? I thought that was a no-no, especially for you!"

"Sam, I never said a word; I'm not sure what the hell's going on here, but we've got to figure it out and soon. Is the demon after the kid, luring you in, what?"

"I have no idea, but there's a college across the river," Sam said, shaking his head. "I'm going to head over there and see what I can dig up, check out a few things I've been thinking about."

"Take the kid with you, alright?" Dean called as Sam poked his head in the room to see if Lauren had woken up yet. Dean didn't want to be alone with Lauren again, but he didn't want Sam to suspect anything either. And looking at Angel only reminded him that Lauren had moved on since she'd left him, and that just stirred up more emotional crap than he was ready to face today.

Sam and Angel walked out of Lauren's room a few minutes later. Suddenly, Angel ran up to Dean and hugged him around the knees. As he bent over to separate her from his pant legs, she whispered in his ear, "Thanks for watching over my Mom for me," and smiled sweetly.

"That's what I do," he grinned back at her, but the smile disappeared as soon as she turned back to catch Sam's hand and head out of ICU. "Freak!" he said to himself after they'd turned the corner out of site. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever was to come, and walked into Lauren's room.

"Dean," Lauren's face brightened, but Dean brought a hand up, shook his head no and said, "shhh."

"Don't shush me," she said defiantly.

"I already told you, we have nothing to talk about," he said emphatically.

"That's bullshit, and you know it," Lauren said, her anger equaling his own. "I need you to know what happened, and why."

Dean sat down, resigned that this was not going to go away.

Lauren began, "First of all, I didn't want to go. I loved you; you had to have known that much, in your heart, in your head". Dean refused to look at her, his head down, studying the laces on his boots, waiting for whatever else she had to say. "The situation with Sam was bad enough, with hiding my feelings for you from him while he was getting ready to go to school. I didn't want to hurt anyone, you know that."

"Yeah, we talked about all that then," Dean replied. "But after you split, why didn't you ever tell him?"

"I never talked to him again after that Dean. Besides, you're his brother, if one of us was going to say anything, don't you think it should have been you? But then, that's what you do, protect Sam at all costs. You could never stand to see him hurt, which is great, but you cripple him as much as you protect him Dean; why can't you see that?"

"You don't know Sam; you don't know me. Don't sit there and act like you know anything about us, because you don't!"

"I watched that whole dynamic with you and Sam before he left for school. Even then, you were always telling him what to do, who to talk to, who he could be friends with. You made him feel like you and your dad were the only people in this world he could trust Dean. What kind of a life is that, anyway?"

"Did Sam tell you that?" Dean asked her, "Because you never met my Dad. You don't know anything about him."

"You have no idea Dean," she sighed. "I can't believe that you really think I would just walk out on you, after everything we had been through together, the life we'd talked about sharing, unless I had a damn good reason. I always told you everything; you were the only one I felt I could really trust. You were always there for me, my lifeline, the only thing that kept me sane after…" her voice trailed off.

Dean heard her voice crack and knew she was talking about the rape and its aftermath. He got up and walked to the window.

"Do you remember when you gave me this pendant?" she asked. The only answer she got was a nod. "Do you also remember that I gave you an amulet a few months later, just before I left; something that would protect you from emotional turmoil and physical danger?" Dean's hand found the amulet still hanging from his neck.

"Didn't help much with the emotional turmoil," he said dryly. "I think you should get a refund."

Lauren sighed, running her fingers through her hair in frustration before continuing. "Did you ever wonder why I gave you that amulet?"

"You said something about how you didn't feel right keeping the one I gave you without me having some sort of protection of my own. That you were worried something bad was going to happen to me and you were acting **really** weird. But then, I guess you already knew it would be the last time I'd see you."

Lauren continued with her story. "I **was** worried something bad was going to happen to you Dean. I had been to your house about a week before that to see you. I had a surprise for you, only you didn't answer the door, your dad did."

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"Your dad invited me in, said how glad he was to finally meet me and that you'd told him so much about me."

"Lauren, I never mentioned our relationship to him," Dean responded.

"I know that now," Lauren said quietly, "but I didn't know it then."

"Tell me," Dean said.

"Your dad started going on and on about how much he and Sam needed you; that you were the anchor of the family, and that if anything happened to you, it would be awful and he just couldn't live through losing one of his sons after what had happened to your Mom. He brought out this book and started telling me stories about ghosts and spirits and all this stuff that you hear about when sitting around a campfire in scouts trying to scare your friends or something. I thought he'd been drinking, to be honest with you, because what he was telling me made no sense at all. Then he asked if you had told me about this stuff and I told him no and that I was sorry about your mom, but I just didn't believe in that kind of thing. Then he opened the book to a page about this one kind of spirit that leaves this certain kind of marking on its victims when it attacks them. Your dad said that these things that your family hunts figure out weaknesses in those that would kill them, and uses those weaknesses against them. He said that one of these things would find out about me, and use your feelings for me to kill you, and probably kill me in the process."

"Well, my dad's a little crazy sometimes," Dean chuckled uneasily, looking away again.

"Yeah," Lauren said, "I thought so too. But then your dad told me that you were in the hospital because of one of these things and said if I didn't believe him to go see you and look at your back. Dean, the wounds you had matched the picture in the book EXACTLY and whatever it was had damn near killed you."

Dean looked at her then, but said nothing. Lauren went on. "When I asked you how you'd gotten hurt, you made up some stupid excuse about falling on a pick axe or something. I felt horrible because you had given me that pendant and now something awful had happened to you. That's when I gave you the amulet. And that's when I knew that I had to leave."

"I looked for you," Dean said. "We have a lot of connections; you disappeared entirely."

"Your dad was waiting for me when I got home that night Dean. He made all the arrangements, helped me get set up in another place, arranged to have the house sold, helped me disappear. Still, I had my cousin keep his eyes open, since he was with the police department. Then a couple years ago, he called me. Told me you were dead. I went to your funeral Dean. I saw your body in that casket. I wondered where Sam and your Dad were, what had gone wrong, where the amulet was and why it hadn't protected you…" she began to cry softly.

Dean looked at her now. "Why didn't you just come talk to me, tell me what my dad had told you, give me a chance to explain, hell, give **us** a chance to work it out?"

"Would you have let me leave if I'd talked to you first?" she asked quietly.

He thought for a second, then shook his head, "No," he said firmly.

"And I loved you too much to be the reason you didn't live to see another birthday, or Sam graduate from college, or whatever else would make you happy. I loved you too much to risk your life, or anyone else's…"

Sam Winchester picked that exact moment to clear his throat. Dean and Lauren looked up, startled to see him standing in the doorway.

"Dean," he said, his voice low and barely controlled. "Can I talk to you outside?"

**Brother vs. Brother**

"We're not finished Dean," Lauren began, but Dean cut her off.

"No, I think we really are," Dean said.

"Sam, wait…" Lauren said, mostly to Sam's back as he left the room in a huff, Dean close behind him.

"Mommy," Angel bounded into the room, "the doctors say you get to go home!"

"That's great, honey," Lauren smiled through the tears starting to form in her eyes.

Dean followed Sam out of Lauren's room into the hallway, but Sam kept walking. "Where are you going, Sam?" Dean asked. Sam just kept walking until they had gotten outside the hospital.

"Look man," Dean said, but Sam grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him up against the wall, hard.

"Shut up, just shut up! I am so sick of the sound of your voice anymore, always telling me what to do, and the lies, and…"

"Sammy…" Dean began.

"Stop calling me that Dean! I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not this fragile little thing you need to keep protecting! I'm a man, a grown man. I can handle more than you give me credit for. How could you do it, Dean?" Sam asked. "How could you do it? You knew how much I liked her then, how much I still like her. And then the vision. We had nearly a day in the car for you to tell me you were screwing her behind my back and you said nothing!"

"I wasn't screwing her behind your back Sam. You said yourself that nothing ever happened between you. You weren't together, and I don't really want to talk about this right now," Dean replied evenly, his jaw set.

"You don't want to talk about it? You don't want to talk about it! I don't give a rat's ass if you want to talk about it or not Dean. I bet you two just laughed it up, didn't you? Poor little Sammy, he has no idea. When did it start, huh? Those nights I passed out first, did you just make sure you got out of her room before I woke up? What an idiot I was!" Sam practically spat.

"It wasn't like that Sam. You had already left for school; Dad was off hunting all the time. I got lonely."

"You got LONELY?" Sam exploded. "Well, hell, that's a good reason to betray your brother, you got lonely."

"Sam, what the hell has gotten into you? Did Ellicott come back when I wasn't looking?" Dean's attempt at humor only fueled Sam's rage.

"I'm done; I am so done with you! And you had the nerve to call me selfish!"

"Sam, I'm sorry. I never meant for it to happen. I never meant to hurt you. You had already left for school, asked me to look after her. It was hard; but there came a point where we just couldn't fight our feelings anymore, you know? She seemed to understand and accept me, just like I was. She didn't want all the other stuff that girls usually want. She just wanted me, as is, no conditions. She didn't ask me to change, she didn't ask a bunch of questions when I'd take off with Dad. She'd just be there when I got back. She's the one woman I could be myself with Sam," Dean looked him square in the eye. "I loved her man."

"Loved or love?" Sam asked, releasing his grip on Dean's shirt and turning away from him. Dean just sighed. "Well, I guess that explains how she knows about what we do," Sam said.

"No, we have Dad to thank for that!" Dean answered.

Sam whirled. "What? Dad would never do that!"

Dean said, "Yeah, I didn't think so either. But apparently, he did. He told Lauren that our relationship would get me killed and she hauled ass. I went to her house one day, all set to... And she was gone. I never saw her again."

"All set to what Dean?" Sam asked.

"It doesn't matter, it's ancient history now. But I never saw her again until you found her in the stairwell at her office building. And that's the truth. Nothing has happened between us since then," Dean said. "This is just another job we have to do, that's it. Lauren and I are done. If you want her, I'm not standing in your way."

Sam snorted, "Mighty kind of you there Dean, but I don't think Lauren's the least bit interested in me at this point, do you?"

"Come on," Dean said. "Are we square now?"

"No Dean, not even close. But we have a job to do. Let's get back inside."

They re-entered the hospital and walked back to ICU. Suddenly, they saw Angel being led away from them by a doctor and several nurses rushing to Lauren's room, alarms sounding. "What did you do to my Mommy?" Angel screamed, trying to pull away from the doctor's firm grip.

"Hey!" Dean yelled as he ran toward them, Sam close behind. "Let her go!"

The doctor released his grip on the little girl, turning to look at Dean and Sam as Angel buried her face in Sam's shoulder, crying. "You're too late!" he grinned, his eyes black as the night sky. "You're too late!" He disappeared down the stairwell before the brothers had a chance to fully process what had just happened.

"Lauren!" Dean yelled, rushing back to ICU, but the shades to her room were drawn and a crash cart was being rolled in. A male nurse blocked Dean from entering the room. "Damn it!" Dean swore, punching the wall outside Lauren's room before turning his back against it and sliding down to sit on the floor, burying his head in his hands, his head ringing with the sound of the machines and medical personnel yelling out orders, trying to save Lauren's life.


	6. Angels Gifts and A Visitor

**Angel's Gifts**

Sam and Angel joined Dean outside Lauren's room. Dean began to pace the hallway, anxious for news. Sam looked worried. He was just starting to comprehend what his brother must be going through; must have gone through during this entire ordeal. _Dean had loved this girl, probably still did. Yet, through everything, he tried to protect my feelings; hide his fear for her, hide his feelings… all to protect me. _He felt like crap. Dean was right before. He really was selfish.

"Dean, I'm sorry," he said.

Dean's shoulders slumped; he didn't look at him. "For what?" He sounded tired.

"For dragging you outside like that. Maybe if we'd been here, she'd be…"

"She's not going to die Sammy." Sam ignored the nickname. "She can't."

"I need to get in there," Angel said matter-of-factly. Dean and Sam both jumped, having forgotten for a minute that she was there. "I have to help her!"

Dean glanced back toward Lauren's room, his eyes catching on something shiny caught between the door and its frame. He strode over and picked it up, his face suddenly changing. It was Lauren's protection pendant, chain broken, the pendant scorched and blackened on the back side. His eyes moved from Lauren's door to the stairwell, to the pendant, searching, and trying hard to think clearly.

"Sam," Dean started. "The eyes, they were black right, not yellow?"

"Yeah," Sam said, his brow furrowed up, obviously confused. "So what?"

Dean brightened just a little. "BigBad's were yellow, when he was in Dad, remember? Maybe this wasn't him, maybe it was something else." He held Lauren's chain up for Sam to see. "Maybe she has a chance." Dean looked at Angel then. "I need to know what happened with your Mom and that doctor."

Angel looked at the necklace in Dean's hand. "Well, he came in and said that he needed to give Mommy some medicine; that she was tired and needed her rest. He put a needle in that tube that goes to her arm…"

Dean looked at Sam apprehensively, then back at Angel.

"He started to push the needle thing, then he put his hand on Mommy's chest, but then pulled back and yelled, like it hurt. Smoke came off his hand and Mommy's chest. That's when Mommy knew something was wrong and the doctor grabbed me and tried to take me away."

At that moment, all three of them turned to Lauren's room as they heard metal crash and Lauren's panicked scream, "Angel! Let go of me! Angel!"

Dean went charging into Lauren's room.

"Angel! Where is she?" Lauren yelled. "Dean, he took her!" Her eyes were wild, pleading.

"Just calm down now," the nurse said, trying to give Lauren a sedative.

"You put that needle in my arm bitch and I'll rip your throat out, so help me God!"

Dean looked at Lauren, more than a little startled at the threat she'd made. "Lauren, it's ok, she's with Sam just outside the room." He put an arm on the nurse's, moving the needle away from Lauren. "She won't need that, I'll keep her calm. Can you send her daughter in?"

The nurse looked up at him, unsure. Dean flashed her his trademark grin. "I promise you, she won't be any trouble as long as she can see her kid and make sure she's alright. Right kiddo?" he asked Lauren.

"Yes Daddy," Lauren said sarcastically, more than a little annoyed.

The nurse left the room and Dean sat on the side of the bed. "Sit up," he said curtly. He hooked the clasp to a different spot on the chain where it wasn't broken, noting the burn marks on Lauren's chest. He turned toward the door and left as Sam and Angel walked in.

"Thank God you're ok, did he hurt you honey?" Lauren asked as Angel walked in.

"No Mommy, I'm ok," she answered.

Sam looked at Angel, then up at Lauren. Their eyes met.

"I'm sorry Sam, I really am," Lauren said.

Sam managed a small smile and shook his head. "Listen, we need to talk, about Angel. She's a very special little girl."

"I know she is," Lauren smiled, beaming at Angel.

"No, I mean," Sam started.

Lauren looked at him evenly, "I know what you mean," then to Angel, "Angel, will you see if Dean's outside the room and if he is, stay with him while Sam and I talk?"

"He's here Mommy," she said, walking out of the room.

Lauren looked at Sam and exhaled deeply, blowing her bangs straight up before saying, "What do you want to know?"

"What kind of abilities does she have, how long has she had them, that kind of thing."

"Well, I don't really know when it started. I mean, I thought there was something different about her when she was just a few months old, but then, I'm her Mom and I had never had a kid before. Still, she wasn't like other babies I'd seen. I talked to her a lot, right from the beginning. Heck, I read her entire novels while I was pregnant with her. But I always tried to explain things to her, even if I didn't think she was old enough to understand. As a baby, she would cry about something, and once I figured out what was bothering her, I'd explain it, and she would just stop crying."

"What about the healing?" Sam asked.

Lauren looked a little surprised, then shrugged her shoulders. "Well, that just started a few years ago. I was slicing up veggies for dinner one night and cut my finger. Angel heard me yell and asked me what was wrong. When I told her what had happened, she took my hand in hers. She closed her eyes for a few minutes and when she let go, it wasn't bleeding anymore and felt better. It wasn't healed, but the healing had been accelerated, so to speak. It was almost like she had willed the pain to go away. It's been little stuff like that ever since then."

"What about you?" Sam asked.

"What about me?" Lauren asked.

"Do you have any…abilities?" Sam asked uncomfortably.

"What, do you think they're hereditary or something?" Lauren laughed.

"Not that I know of, but I don't think anybody really knows that much about this stuff," Sam said.

"If that's the case, she must have gotten them from her dad's side of the family," Lauren said.

"What about visions, does she see things that haven't happened yet?" Dean asked from the doorway. Sam cocked a brow at Dean as Angel trailed in behind him.

"Dean," Sam started, but Lauren stopped him.

"It's ok Sam. I wouldn't call them visions, more like feelings. Sometimes she has feelings that something is going to happen. Why?"

"Has she had any recently?" Dean asked. Sam looked at him again, wondering where this line of questioning was coming from.

"I told Mommy not to go to work that day she got hurt. I told her I thought something bad was going to happen," Angel began.

"Yes, but you often try to get me to stay home with you dear," Lauren smiled.

Dean shifted uneasily from one foot to the other. 

"What's wrong?" Sam asked him quietly. Dean just shook his head.

"We need to get you out of this hospital," Dean said to Lauren, then looked at Sam. "We can't protect her here like we can other places."

"Dean, I think she probably still needs medical attention," Sam started.

"So, we get her a private nurse or something," Dean replied. "She's not safe here, don't you get it?"

"You're afraid something's going to come back here after her, aren't you? You want to take her back to her house, so we can salt the doors and windows, do protection circles, the whole nine yards?" Sam asked.

"And we won't even have to make up a reason why we're doing it," Dean grinned slightly, for once glad that they didn't have to hide what they do. It was the closest thing to a real smile Sam had seen from Dean since they'd arrived.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked Lauren.

"Get me the hell outta here!" she said smiling.

"I'll get the car," Dean said.

"How is Metallicar, by the way?" Lauren asked, her face lighting up. "If you messed up that car, I'll kick your ass!" she said.

"Mom," Angel began.

"Sorry dear," Lauren smiled.

"Metallicar?" Sam asked, looking at Dean with one eyebrow cocked higher than the other.

"She's fine," Dean replied, looking a little uneasy at the mention of the nickname Lauren had given the car when they'd been on a trip to the lake that summer. He'd never shared that nickname with Sam. "She's been through the wringer, basically had to be completely rebuilt at one point, but she's still purring," Dean grinned then, happy to be talking about something other than demons and his own personal issues.

He walked out of the room, telling one of the nurses that Lauren was signing herself out and to get the papers ready. He strolled out through the Emergency Room entrance to where he'd left the Impala the night they'd brought Lauren in to the hospital from her office.

When he got back to Lauren's room, she was signing a stack of papers and trying to convince a nurse that she was fine and it was her right to go home if she wanted to.

"We've got a problem," Dean said.

"What?" Sam asked as Lauren and Angel looked up at him.

"The car's gone!"

**A Visitor**

"What do you mean the car's gone?" Sam and Lauren asked in unison.

"Am I speaking a foreign language here? The…car…is…gone" Dean said, acting like he was doing sign language while saying the last four words very slowly.

"Okay, Captain Smartass!" Lauren answered.

"Mom!" Angel started.

"Sorry!" Lauren said.

"Where did you park it Dean?" Sam asked

Dean walked them out to the parking area where he had left the Impala. "It was right here!"

Lauren looked at Sam, then at Dean, then laughed. "Don't read much, do you Dean?"

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked impatiently, not thinking this was the least bit funny.

Lauren pointed at a sign over the parking space Dean claimed the Impala should be sitting in. "Tow…away…zone," she mimicked Dean with the slow speech and implied sign language.

He was so worried when he got to the hospital that night that he'd just parked it wherever he could. They'd been taking Lauren's truck back and forth since they were hauling Angel around and he'd forgotten to move the car.

"No worries," Lauren said. "Sam said my truck is over there, we'll call to find out where they towed it after we get to my place."

"You sure you're ok to drive?" Sam asked as they climbed into her SUV. Sam sat up front with Lauren and Dean sat in the back with Angel. Sam had called shotgun based on his longer legs. Lauren took something out of her purse and plugged it into a jack coming from underneath the dashboard.

"What's that?" Dean asked from the back seat.

"An iPod," Lauren and Sam answered together. '

"What the hell's an iPod?" Dean asked.

"Dean!" Angel looked at him disapprovingly.

"Lovely, I've got the word police on my as…. butt," Dean mumbled grumpily.

The sounds of Enter Sandman began to fill the car as they drove off.

"Aw man!" Sam said, disappointed.

"Hey, driver picks the music…" Lauren started.

"Shotgun shuts his cakehole!" Dean, Angel, and Lauren all said simultaneously. Sam just shook his head, chuckling lightly. Dean looked at Angel, a little surprised.

"Language!" he feigned disapproval at the five year old sitting next to him in the car seat.

"Say your prayers little one, don't forget my son to include everyone!" Angel looked back at him and began to sing along.

Dean grinned and gave her a high five. "Cool kid you got here Lauren," he said, settling his sunglasses on his nose as he sunk down in the seat for a catnap.

"The coolest," Lauren said in return, smiling at Angel through the rearview mirror, glad for her own sunglasses as she snuck a glance at Dean afterward. "The coolest."

They got back to her house and Dean began calling around to see where to go to get the Impala back. Everything they needed was in the car, but Lauren had a large box of salt in the pantry that Sam began spreading along the windows and doorways.

"Damn!" Dean mumbled as he came back in.

"What?" Sam asked.

"$200 to get the car out of impound!" he exclaimed. Lauren went into the bedroom for a few minutes, reappearing with a small handful of twenties.

"That ought to cover it," she said.

Sam looked at the cash, then said, "You just have $200 laying around your house to throw at the first person that needs it."

"Yeah, well, I'm in accounting, some of us learn to save our money," she said.

"You're an accountant?" Dean practically snorted.

"Bite me!" she said.

Dean half growled at her, snapping his teeth together playfully and grinning, then caught himself. Sam caught the shift in his expression, as did Lauren, both noticing the reserve go back up. Old habits, Sam thought, a little sad that Dean felt he had hide behind that tough exterior. He and Lauren exchanged a knowing look, then turned and walked in opposite directions.

"What?" Dean said, not sure what had just happened. He got no answer. "Cab's here, I'm going to get my baby!" he hollered as he headed out the door.

Sam watched Angel for Lauren as she took a shower, then settled in for a nap. He got her started on an episode of SpongeBob when Dean came back, asking where Lauren was. Sam motioned toward the bedroom and said she was sleeping. They finished all the protection precautions they could think of while waiting for her to wake up.

"It's ok man," Sam said to Dean as they'd finished.

"What's ok?" Dean asked, not looking up from what he was doing.

"You and Lauren, it's ok. I'm sorry I…"

"Don't say it," Dean said. "I told you, Lauren and I are done. Ancient history man."

Sam smiled at him, "No it's not. It's written all over your faces, every time you two look at each other. I can't believe I didn't see it before."

"That was a long time ago Sam. We're not picking up where we left off. Just drop it, please? I'm tired. I'm tired of talking about feelings and useless crap that doesn't get you anywhere. Just give me a gun and an evil son of a bitch to kill and I'm golden!"

But Sam persisted. "You know Dean, you and Lauren; you could have a life together once we figure this thing out."

Dean shook his head. "Does my life look like a soap opera? Geez, she's got a kid Sam! Do I look like a Daddy to you? Shut up already!" he said, shaking his head

"I think you protest too much," Sam mumbled to himself as Dean stalked out of the room.

"What's going on?" Lauren said groggily, stretching as she came out of her bedroom.

"Oh, Dean's just being Dean," Sam grinned.

"It's good to see you again Sam, really," she smiled at him, messing up his hair.

"Don't…" Sam started.

"…touch the hair! I remember!" she laughed. "Freak!"

"Bitch!" Sam called after her grinning, and she turned around and flipped him off, laughing.

"Sam!" Angel scolded from the living room.

"Sorry!" Sam laughed. "Dean was looking for you Lauren," he called.

"I see you bought more coffee," Lauren said to Dean when she found him fiddling with the coffeemaker in the kitchen.

"Yeah, that other stuff was nasty. When did you buy it?" he asked, grumpy.

"You know I don't touch the stuff Dean."

Dean harrumphed in return, willing the coffeemaker to finish.

"When are we going to talk about it?" she asked.

Dean groaned, "About what?"

"The big elephant that's sitting on your shoulder," Lauren replied.

"Not now, Lauren, please," he said, pouring the coffee.

Lauren scrunched up her nose, changing subjects. "Sam said you wanted to see me?"

"Oh yeah, where's the pendant?" he asked.

"Right here," she replied, taking it off.

"I got a new chain for it," he said after she handed it to him. He put the pendant on the new chain, discarding the old one. He motioned for her to turn around so he could put it on. She turned her back to him, lifting her hair out of the way, the smell of her shampoo wafting up to his nose. He hesitated, closing his eyes momentarily and breathing her in.

"Dean," she said, turning toward him then, reaching up to touch his face.

"I can't," he said, his voice cracking. "I can't go through this again, Lauren." He closed his eyes again, feeling the warmth of her hand on his cheek, willing himself the strength to pull away, but unable to do so.

"Hey Lauren," Sam called from the other room before walking in. "Mind if I take Angel for some ice cream?"

Dean glared at him. God, he's trying to play matchmaker. What does he think he can get the kid out of here and we'll go at it on the kitchen table? The thought was a bit enticing, but still. "Somebody's here to see you," Sam's voice intruded on the thought, as he called to Angel to get her shoes on and head outside. Sam looked very uncomfortable as he left the room.

Lauren looked at Dean, "I didn't hear the doorbell," she said curiously, walking into the living room from the kitchen.

"That's because I didn't ring it, I knocked," said a voice belonging to a handsome man standing just inside the front door after Sam had closed it.

"John," Lauren said, walking up to him and kissing him on the cheek. Dean stared in disbelief.

"I'm glad you're ok Lauren," John Winchester said, kissing her forehead as he smiled down at her, then held his hand out to Dean. "Son…"


	7. Revelations and Repercussions

**Revelations**

Dean backed away, feeling suddenly double-teamed. He looked at Lauren, "You lied to me?"

"No, everything I told you is true Dean. All of it."

"Son," John began again, but Dean interrupted.

"Don't… just don't. Don't even talk to me right now. Lauren, how can you even talk to him after everything he did to us?"

"Dean," Lauren and John both said at once.

"Just shut up, both of you!" Dean screamed, then to John, "You, outside, now!"

"No!" Lauren said harshly. "I told you there was more, maybe you should hear it before you snap to judge…"

Dean wheeled on his father. "I did everything you said, always, my whole life. I lived to make you proud. I **always** put the family first, always did what you asked. I had ONE thing of my own in my life, and you took it from me. You had to take the one thing that really made me happy. Why Dad? You need to tell me what made you think you're God!"

"Your actions were putting the entire family in danger," John said.

"Dean," Lauren began.

"No, it's okay," John said, straightening up, his face getting a little sterner. "Let him say what he feels he needs to say. It's about time he got a damned backbone!"

Dean's mouth dropped. "Backbone? You want me to have a backbone? You drilled backbone right out of me Dad, and now you're complaining about it? I don't get you, not at all! I was always the good little soldier boy, doing everything **_Daddy_** asked!" Dean was pacing now, stalking back and forth in front of John like a cat eyeing its prey before going in for the kill. His hands were shaking, his voice trembled. "Once Lauren was gone, all I wanted was for the three of us to be together. You disappear, I go find Sam, you show back up again, we all nearly die, then you disappear again. Sam and I look for you again, for over a year, and **_now_** you show up? Why Dad? Why here, why now? Why her?"

"Valid questions," John nodded his head, but he said no more.

"Don't patronize me, you son of a bitch!" Dean yelled, stepping toe-to-toe with his father, staring him down.

"You think you're man enough to take me down Dean?" John stared coldly at his son.

Lauren stepped up to them, about to get in the middle when they both said, "Back off," without so much as looking at her.

She stepped back, sitting on the couch, head in hands, fingers running through her own hair, trying to figure out what to do. She was glad Sam had taken Angel out. He must have known it was going to get ugly. She also knew in her heart that Dean really needed this. She just hated being the reason for him finally standing up to his father, especially after everything John had done for her family. Dean doesn't know the whole story; a voice in her head reminded her. This isn't fair to either of them. She went into the bedroom to grab something and came back out. The battle waged on in front of her.

"I can't believe I trusted you, never questioned anything you asked me to do. Look at you; you're a pathetic, weak old man. You wasted your whole life, and mine and Sam's childhoods on what? Nothing, that's what. We're no closer to killing that thing that took Mom now than we were a year ago. Maybe I should have let Sam shoot you in the heart when you were possessed…"

"That's enough!" Lauren thundered, slamming a baseball bat down on the coffee table in front of her, then moving in between Dean and John. "You, sit down," she said to Dean, poking him in the chest with the baseball bat before pointing it at a chair behind him.

Dean glared at her defiantly. "Sit down Dean. You have no idea what you're talking about here and I don't want you to say anything else you're going to regret." She raised her eyebrows and gripped the bat tighter, letting Dean know she meant business.

"John, I'm sorry," she began. John just shook his head no, blinking back the tears in his eyes before Dean could see them. But Lauren saw them. Lauren knew the damage Dean had done, even though John tried to hide it from his son.

"Dean, you're going to hear the rest of this now if I have to tie you to a chair. I tried to tell you before."

"I know all I need to know," Dean said coolly.

"No, you really don't. That man saved **MY** life; he saved **Angel's** life, Dean."

"What the hell are you talking about, he sent you away. I could have protected you myself!" Dean yelled

Lauren just shook her head, turning away from Dean now as she spoke. "John, may I?" she asked.

"Go ahead Lauren," he answered softly. "He really should hear it from you."

Lauren took a deep breath. "OK," she began, "I was living in this house in North Carolina. Your dad had helped me find the place when I first left. Great house, good neighborhood; I loved the place. I hadn't seen or talked to your dad since he'd dropped me there. Kinda hated him back then, to be honest. Sorry, John, but I did." John shrugged it off. "I was lonely, missing you like crazy, then Angel came along, and she just lit up my whole world. I wanted her to grow up in that place…"

She stopped, taking a deep breath. John looked at her sympathetically as she shook her head, not wanting to relive this again. Dean didn't like this connection she seemed to have with his father, but he was calming her a bit and it was obvious she was very upset.

"So Angel was just a baby, in fact it was her six month birthday," the pitch in Lauren's voice shifted and Dean's heart nearly stopped as he realized what she was going to say (she has abilities, oh God, the demon came after Angel?). "I put Angel to bed that night, just like every other night. A few hours later she starts crying and I go to see what's wrong, and there's this man in her room." Lauren's voice cracked. John walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, comforting her. Lauren continued, not quite facing Dean, her profile told him how hard this was. "Well, not really a man, more like a shadow. I screamed, and it turned and next thing I knew, I was up against the wall, like this thing that pinned me when it attacked me at work. I felt myself going up the wall, toward the ceiling and Angel was crying and there was nothing I could do…." Lauren stopped for a moment, then took a deep breath. "And then, your dad busts through the door, shooting a shotgun at the thing and it disappears. He grabbed Angel and me and helped us outside, and the bedroom just exploded in flames. Ten seconds longer and Angel and I would both be dead!"

Lauren leaned her head against John's chest and sobbed. John stroked her hair gently, "It's ok," he said softly. "It's over."

"Thank you!" she said to him. "You could have gotten yourself killed in the process. You risked your life for us and I will never forget it!"

John Winchester smiled at her through misty eyes and said, "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You're both worth it, all of it."

"This is all very touching," Dean said sarcastically, regretting his tone as soon as the words came out of his mouth. "But how did you know the demon would go to Lauren's house? How did you know Angel would be in danger?"

"Apparently, he knew Angel would be a target because of her abilities," Lauren said, looking at John.

"These abilities appear to run in families, sometimes passed down from generation to generation," John said.

"Angel's abilities hadn't shown up yet."

"The abilities apparently run on Angel's father's side of the family," Lauren said, glancing at John. John was silent. "Her uncle has them…"

"Her uncle?" Dean said, not quite putting the pieces together.

"Jesus, I can't believe you haven't figured this out yet. Did you flunk math in high school or something? Angel will be six next month Dean." Lauren kneeled on the floor in front of the chair Dean was sitting in now, looking a little lost. She took his hand in her own. "Your dad showed up that night to save his **grandchild**; his **son's** child. John did all of this to protect you, but to protect **your child **as well. Angel is your daughter Dean."

**Repercussions**

Lauren's words echoed in his head. Dean Winchester sat in a chair in her house dumbfounded. He opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words. He was a father and his own father and this bitch had kept the truth from him for more than six years. God, he had almost trusted her again, almost let himself fall for her again, now this?

He looked up to see Lauren looking at him expectantly, and behind her, his father.

"I'm sorry," Lauren said, "This must be a lot to take in."

Dean withdrew his hand from Lauren's and slowly got out of the chair. "Dean?" she said as he grabbed the baseball bat and stomped out the front door, slamming it behind him. Lauren walked past John to follow him.

"Let him go," John advised. "He's going to need some time to process all this."

The next thing they heard was the sound of breaking glass in the drive followed by the roar of the Impala's engine and screeching tires. John just shook his head.

They came back in from inspecting John's broken rear window and headlights. "The things he said to you John," Lauren began.

"Lauren, I'm not perfect," John said. "Dean was right about a lot of things. The truth is I've made more than my share of mistakes when it comes to my boys. You're a parent; you know that sometimes you have to make the best decision you know how and just pray it's the right one for your kids."

"But how do we explain that to them when it rips them apart and destroys their trust in us?" she sighed, staring at one of Angel's toys lying in the corner.

"Maybe I shouldn't have separated you and Dean after all," John started.

"I have as much culpability in this as you do John," Lauren said. "I was a grown woman."

"And I was, AM, a bull-headed arrogant fool. If you hadn't agreed to leave, I would have found a way to separate you two," John smiled a slightly mischievous smile. "This is my doing."

"How did you find me?" Lauren asked. "I mean, here?"

"I kept tabs on you when you moved. I have friends here. Any 911 from your office building and I heard about it. I was in town for what I thought was a lead on the demon. I heard about the nature of the call the night you were attacked and went straight to the hospital. Dean damn near saw me there the night you were brought in."

"You were at the hospital?" she asked.

"Yeah, Sam may have told you he gets these premonitions sometimes, he must have seen what was going to happen to you and brought Dean to help him try to stop it," John replied. "Dean was a wreck Lauren, you should know that. He and Sam took turns in your room with you until you woke up. I guess they figured the demon would come back. Sam would come to relieve Dean and he would pace the hallway for at least an hour before going to get some sleep. On his shifts, he never left your room for so much as a bathroom break."

Lauren smiled a sad smile and shook her head.

"I'm sorry for all of this Lauren," John said. "It's obvious you still love him, and I think his actions while you were hurt confirm he still loves you too."

"I walked out of his life without a word. I kept his own flesh and blood hidden from him. You know how he feels about family John. The things he's done to keep your family together, to keep Sam safe. He would have done the same for Angel and never got the chance. I'm sure right now he's thinking he should have been the one to protect her all those years ago. It doesn't matter how I feel about him, he's never going to forgive me for this."

"I guess the first step would be for you to forgive yourself," John said softly.

"I can't," she said. "I kept him from his child, I kept Angel from her father, her uncle, her _grandfather_," she said, looking at him again now.

"You made the best decision you knew how to keep your child safe. You gave up **everything** you loved for her. I don't know much about parenting, but I know that makes you a good mother."

"Once I heard, or should I say thought, Dean had died, I was almost relieved. The weight of carrying this secret was smothering me. Then I had all this guilt that he and Angel hadn't gotten a chance to get to know each other. By the time Angel finally asked about her dad, I told her he was dead, because I thought it was true. How am I going to make her understand this?"

John's eyes widened. "Lauren, I should have told you. I didn't even think about the possibility of you hearing about what happened." He paused before continuing, "Dean has a big heart. One day, maybe he can forgive both of us. Speaking of family, you're going to tell Sam and Angel too?"

"After everything that's happened and the fact that the demon has tracked us down anyway, I don't see a value in continuing the lies," Lauren replied.

"I wonder how Sam is going to feel about being an uncle," John said thoughtfully.

"He and Angel get along great; I'm sure he'll be just fine!" Lauren smiled. "That reminds me, I think they should probably have been back by now, don't you? Would you mind calling Sam's cell phone? I didn't think to get his number or Dean's, so I have no way to reach them."

"Sure," John said, dialing Sam's number. There was no answer; he left a message. "Sam, it's Dad. Lauren's wondering where you and Angel are. The coast is clear so to speak. Dean isn't here so go ahead and bring Angel back. Thanks." John frowned after clicking his phone shut.

"What's the matter?" Lauren asked.

"Sam always picks up the phone when I call him," John replied. "This doesn't feel right. Something's wrong. I'm going to look for them."

"I'm going with you," Lauren said.

"No," John said. "Stay here." Lauren was annoyed. "Does he have a key to get in the house if he gets back and there's no one here?"

"No," she frowned.

A few minutes later John came back into the house with several shotguns and other weapons. "Sam and Dean seemed to have done a good job on the protection for the house, but I don't fully trust anything with this demon. He's more powerful than a lot of the other things we've encountered along the way. DO NOT leave the house for anything unless you're with Sam or Dean, got it?"

"Just find them," Lauren instructed, starting to worry.

"I will," John smiled. "And Lauren?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," John said.

"For what?" she asked.

"For defending me to Dean," he replied. You have as much right as he does to hate me."

Lauren smiled a forgiving smile and shook her head as she closed the door behind him.

"Help, please, somebody help us!" John Winchester pulled into the parking lot of Dairy Queen just in time to see Angel running away from Lauren's truck screaming and Sam being dragged away unconscious by a dark figure moving quickly behind the building.


	8. Sam and Who's Your Daddy?

**Sam**

Dean Winchester's cell phone rang. Again. He looked at the number. It was Dad. Again. His voicemail envelope was still lit up from the last two times John had called. _I can't talk to you Dad. Not after all this_. He tossed the cell phone in the back seat of the Impala. _I need time._

He had been driving for hours and his legs were starting to cramp. He saw an area where he could pull off the side of the road. Dean leaned his head against a signpost before wandering down a path that led away from the side of the highway. He followed the path down to a rather large pond. It was a nice, quiet spot where he could think.

First he kicked things, and then he swore. Finally, he backed against a tree, letting his weight draw him down to a sitting position, head in hands, trying to sort through the tangled web that his life had suddenly become.

He'd said so many ugly things to his dad. Things he hadn't even realized he'd felt. Things that brought tears to the eyes of the unshakable, unstoppable, fearless John Winchester. He'd tried to hide those tears, but Dean had seen them. Dean could hardly remember ever seeing his dad cry.

Dean knew the kind of pain he'd inflicted on his father and guilt rippled through him. _Damn it Dad, why couldn't you trust me to handle it? I should have been the one to save them. Angel's my daughter, Lauren would have been my wife. I could have handled it. When are you going to realize that I'm a man?_

He took a deep breath and looked around at his surroundings. Water. He remembered the lake that he and Lauren used to sneak off to when his dad was in town and had found the bottom of a bottle the night before, ensuring he'd sleep most of the day. Lauren loved the water. Whenever she needed to think, she would go to the lake and sit on the dock, sometimes for hours. Lauren needed peace, quiet, solitude to sort through her thoughts. Dean preferred noise, noise to drown out his thoughts, his doubts, and the dread that told him he couldn't protect everybody everywhere _forever_.

Ultimately, he thought of Angel. He had a little girl. She was beautiful and smart. She had a bit of an attitude problem and Dean knew she hadn't just inherited that from her mother. He smiled at the memory of her telling Sam to shut his cakehole in the car. Now that was classic. She was so damn funny. Dean hadn't ever thought much about being a dad. His job was dangerous and it took him away from anything that could resemble home. He didn't want any child of his to have the childhood he had.

At least Angel's life had been somewhat normal. If she was like Sam, she didn't remember the demon coming for her. That damn demon. The demon who took his mom, any shot he and Sam had at a normal childhood, and Sam's girlfriend. The same demon that used Lauren to send a message; the demon who tried to take his daughter. That son of a bitch was going to pay and Dean was the one who was going to collect.

Dean Winchester could list on one finger the things he was really scared of. He would go up against any man, spirit, ghost, beast, or demon, guns blazing, holy water spraying, whatever it takes. Until today, the only thing that really scared him was losing his family. But this wasn't any ordinary day. Today, he was a father, and the thought of it, of everything it meant, terrified him.

0000000000

John yelled to Angel to get inside the store as he whipped a sawed-off shotgun from behind the seat in his truck and took aim at the dark figure scurrying behind the building. His shot missed its target. He bolted out of the truck, running to where he had last seen Sam and his abductor, but was met by an empty alleyway. He ran up and down, but there was no sign of Sam anywhere. He had completely vanished.

"Damn it!" he screamed. He went back inside to find Angel. She was waiting behind the counter with one of the waitresses, visibly shaken. "Hi honey," John said to her, "I'm going to take you home."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't know you!" she answered.

He hadn't thought about it, but this kid hadn't actually seen him since she was a baby. _My only grandchild and I've missed so much of her life._

"I'm Sam's dad Angel. My name is John. I'm going to call your mom on my cell phone and she'll let you know what to do, ok?"

Angel looked at him, unsure, as he dialed Lauren's number. "Lauren, it's John. Angel's fine, but something took Sam. I'm going to bring her back to your house, then bring you back up here to pick up your truck ok? She doesn't know me, so I told her I would call you so she knew it was ok to come with me. Here she is," John waited for Angel to come get the phone from him but she refused to budge. He leaned across the counter to hand it to her.

She has Dean's eyes, he thought as she looked up at him while talking to her mother. His thoughts drifted to regret, but he snapped back to hunter mode quickly. As he loaded Angel into the truck, he dialed Dean's number. No answer. "Dean," he said when the beep to leave a voicemail sounded. "It's Dad. Something took Sam. Call me." He hung up. After ensuring Angel and Lauren were back home safely, John tried calling Dean again as he drove back to set about trying to find Sam.

He went behind the store again, this time picking up a trail of Sam's blood that he hadn't seen before. He hadn't seen because it was dripping down the side of the building. There was nothing on the pavement underneath. John climbed up a ladder and cautiously crept along the roof of the building, following the trail of blood that had been left behind as this thing had dragged Sam away. It ended just outside a small door that led into a large utility area on the roof. Gun poised, John opened the door.

"Oh God, Sammy?" he moaned when he saw Sam's body propped up in a corner. Whatever had taken him had apparently decided that it wasn't worth a battle and had fled. He checked Sam's pulse, but felt nothing. He pulled him out on the roof and began CPR. "Come on Sammy, breathe, damn it son! Breathe!" At last he got some breath sounds, but very shallow. He carefully got Sam off the building and into his truck. He called Lauren to let her know what was going on, then called Dean, leaving another message.

Lauren and Angel arrived at the hospital at the same time John was bringing Sam in. "What are you doing here?" John said as Sam was rushed off by the medical staff.

"This thing is trying to pick people off and you expect me to sit in that empty house? I'd like to have at least one Winchester at my side right now, thanks!"

"If it makes you feel any better, this thing wasn't the demon," John said.

"Angel said it was attacking someone in the parking lot and Sam tried to help him. Then it turned on Sam," Lauren told him.

More than two hours later, the doctor came out of the emergency area to speak with John. "He's in pretty bad shape. All we can do is wait and see." John's shoulders sagged.

Lauren took Angel's hand. "When can we see him?"

0000000000

Dean decided that what he needed was to get his mind off everything and everyone else in his life. The sun was setting anyway, so he found a bar and went in to drown his sorrows in alcohol and pretty ladies. The alcohol numbed his senses and the ladies were very pretty indeed. When he woke up at noon the next day, his cell phone was still in the back seat of the car.

0000000000

John didn't know what to do. Part of him was worried that something had happened to Dean too, but he didn't want to leave Sam in case the worst happened. He snapped the phone shut. _Dean, you're a man now, I have to trust that you're ok. I have to believe that you're just really pissed off at me. Please check your voicemail. Get here son, Sammy may not have much time. _

He took a deep breath and found Lauren and Angel in Sam's room. Lauren was on one side of the bed and Angel was on the other. Lauren held Sam's right hand in her left hand, and Angel's left hand in her right hand. Angel held Sam's left hand in her right. They both had their heads bowed and eyes closed.

"Any change?" John whispered to Lauren quietly, breaking her concentration. Lauren looked at him and shook her head no. Angel kept her head down and eyes closed. "What are you doing?" he asked Lauren.

"**I'm** praying. Angel is trying to help Sam in her own way," Lauren smiled.

"Thank you Angel," John uttered quietly. She opened one eye to look at him and mouthed, "You're welcome, Papa." John blinked back tears as the little girl's warm smile greeted him.

"Come on Sam, come back to us. Your family needs you." Lauren looked at John thoughtfully. "Your whole family." She squeezed Sam's hand firmly.

0000000000

Dean squinted against the harsh sunlight that greeted him as he pulled the motel room door shut behind him. He turned in the key and decided what he really needed was a steaming cup of coffee and break… he looked at his watch… brunch.

He was relieved to not have Sam complaining about having to find Dad and finding the demon and I want to go back to school when this is all done. He finished his eggs and bacon and gave a cheerful smile to the waitress as he left. Ah hell, Sam would be worried about him. He searched his pockets and then remembered that he had tossed his cell phone in the back seat. He fished it off the floor and looked at the display. 17 missed calls. He began to scroll through them: Dad… Dad… Dad… unknown… Dad… Dad… Sandy (grin)… Dad… Dad, etc. "Freak!" he muttered to himself as he saw all but two of those calls were from his father. He found it odd that Sam hadn't called. Sam had to have known by now that he and Dad had a fight. He rolled his eyes and dialed his voice mail. His facial expression quickly changed as he went through the messages one by one before jumping into the car and speeding back to Tampa.

**Who's Your Daddy?**

Dean came flying into the emergency room entrance for the hospital, pausing only long enough to find out which room his brother was in. When he got there, he found John hovering over Sam, looking anxious. 

"How is he?" he asked quietly.

John looked at him, disappointment written all over his face. "He'd be a hell of a lot better if you'd done your job and looked out for him. How could you just take off like that, and then not answer your phone? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry Dad, I was a little wrapped up. Kinda just found out I was a father and all." Dean said with more than his usual snark.

"Well, give the boy a medal! He abandons his child and her mother as soon as he learns the news. Your brother had to pay the price for your temper tantrum!" John practically exploded.

"Take it outside," Lauren said, entering the room.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked angrily.

"Sam needs his family," she replied.

Dean's jaw dropped. "That little girl out there," he said, pointing to Angel standing just outside the room, "is his family. You're not!"

"Dean!" John said, raising his voice again.

"No John, it's ok," she said. She looked at Dean pointedly. "But that's your brother Dean, the person you love most in this world. He's done nothing wrong. He needs peace. He needs rest. But more than anything else right now, he needs you." With that she left the room.

Dean and John glared at each other but neither said anything. After Dean's fifth loud sigh, John finally took the hint and went for a walk. Alone with his unconscious brother, Dean was able to let his walls down a little. He felt the tears sting his eyes as he took Sam's hand in his own, willing him to get better. "I'm sorry Sammy, I should have been there. I know I let you down. I'll never do it again, I promise. You have to pull through this Sam. I'm going to be selfish here. I need you." He looked toward the door. "I don't know if they told you, but you're an uncle. Angel's my kid, can you believe that? Sam, I don't know how to be a father; I need your help here. I can't do this. Come on Sam, open your eyes, tell me I'm an idiot, make fun of me, something!"

He didn't move from Sam's side until his father came back in several hours later. "Why don't you take a break, I'll sit with him for a while."

"He's my responsibility," Dean said.

"Little late for that now, don't you think?" John replied.

Lauren was right about one thing; Sam didn't need them fighting right now. Dean left the room, grabbing a cup of coffee in the cafeteria before walking into the waiting room. The lights were dimmed. He noticed someone lying on the couch. Dean looked at his watch. It was late. After his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized that it was Lauren, with Angel on her chest, both asleep. Dean moved a little closer, careful not to disturb them. He stared at Angel, arms wrapped around her mother's neck, a wisp of hair across her peaceful face. He reached over and pushed the hair back in place, letting his hand rest on her head for a long moment. _I'm sorry Angel. I know I let you down. I've let everybody down. _

He went back to Sam's room and he and John sat there in silence, alternating between staring at each other in disgust and staring at Sam, willing him to live. The next morning, Angel walked into the room alone, asking to sit with Sam. John helped her get up on the bed, and she took hold of Sam's hand again, like she had Lauren's before. John left the room, motioning to Dean to leave them alone. Dean shook his head no.

He stayed, watching Angel and Sam together for a few moments before walking out into the hallway. Lauren was staring out the window, with John behind her. Neither of them saw Dean standing there. "You're as much a part of this family as any of us Lauren," he said.

She shook her head, "No I'm not, Angel is. Dean was right about that."

"You're her mother, Lauren. You raised her from birth, all by yourself. You never asked for anything from this family. You've sacrificed over and over again for her. Angel's family by birth, but you're family in every way that matters."

John's hand was on her shoulder now and Lauren placed her hand on top of his. "That means a lot to me. But it doesn't change the past, it doesn't right the wrongs, it doesn't undo the hurt. Have you known me to be anything but a straight shooter?"

John chuckled lightly, "No, you pretty much say exactly what you feel and to hell with what other people think about it. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had Winchester blood in you. What's on your mind?"

"Go easy on him John," she said. "We've had years to make peace with everything that's happened. This is all new to Dean. What you said to him wasn't fair."

"Still the eternal peacemaker I see," he replied.

"I missed them all these years, John. I wish we could go back to the three musketeers thing we had going on, but those days are gone. We're all grown up now. I love all of you, but you were unfair to blame him. You made Dean believe that what happened to Sam was his fault. It wasn't, and you know it. You can't tell me that there is not a point in any given day where the two of them are not together. Sam wasn't targeted, he got hurt trying to help someone else, and that's all. It's terrible and scary, but it's not Dean's fault."

Dean slipped down the corridor before either of them knew he had been there. When he came back, he saw John still standing by the window. He glanced into Sam's room and saw Lauren and Angel standing by Sam's bed, laughing. He didn't hear John's approach.

"He's awake Dean. He's going to be ok. Angel must have gotten through." Dean looked in on his brother and felt a huge wave of relief sweep over him.

"Does Sammy know?" he asked.

"That he's an uncle? Not yet. Lauren wanted to wait to talk to you. Although I guess Angel overheard us talking and figured out that I'm her grandfather. I don't think she's connected all the dots yet."

The next day Sam was released and Lauren invited them all to stay at her house. "There's plenty of room," she'd said. John said he had gotten a call from one of their contacts about something going up in Kentucky, but Lauren had a gut feeling that he was just leaving so that Dean would have some space. Sam agreed to stay at Lauren's but Dean decided to stay in a local motel instead. He'd come to see Sam during the day and leave in the evening. He refused to speak to Lauren at all.

A few days later, Sam opened the door to get the morning paper and found Dean about to knock on it. He let him in. Lauren and Angel were in the kitchen and Dean started to walk in to grab a cup of coffee when he overheard them talking.

"I hope Dean doesn't come by today Mommy," Angel said. Dean's brows furrowed as he stood in the doorway outside the entrance to the kitchen.

"Why would you say something like that Angel?" Lauren asked.

"Well, when he's here, you're sad. And I don't like the way he looks at you; it's mean. Why does he hate you?" she asked.

"I don't think he hates me honey. Sometimes grown ups get their feelings hurt. We're not like you kids who are really smart and know that the most important thing is…"

"Your family and friends. You have to show them how much you love them everyday because one day you may not have a chance to do it anymore," Angel finished for her.

"I see one of our talks has finally sunk in," Lauren smiled at her. "You see, we grownups aren't always that smart and it takes us a long time to let go of the things that hurt us. It's hard for us to focus on the important stuff when we hurt."

"So Dean's mad at you because you hurt him?" Angel asked.

"I didn't mean to honey, but yes, I did. I lied to him about something very important a long time ago. He just found out about it, and he's having a hard time understanding it. Don't be mad at him; he has every right to be mad at Mommy." Dean was surprised at the candor Lauren used with Angel. No wonder the little girl was so intuitive.

"Do you miss my Daddy Mommy?" Angel asked.

"Every day of my life honey," Lauren answered sadly.

"I know you said my daddy died. Do you think he loved me?" she asked.

"If he'd had a chance to know you Angel, he'd have shown you every day just how much he loved you. And I know he would be very, very proud of what a brave, smart young lady you've grown into," Dean heard Lauren's voice crack as she said the words.

"Mommy?" Angel asked again.

"Hmmm?" Lauren replied absentmindedly, her thoughts drifting to Dean then.

"If I could pick anyone to be my Daddy, it would be Sam."


	9. Forgiveness and Normal

**Forgiveness**

The words cut through Dean's heart. He felt Sam's finger tap him on the shoulder before taking his arm and leading him outside.

"Hey Lauren, I'll be out back if you need anything," Sam called when they neared the door.

"Thanks Sam!" she called back.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, irritated as he shook Sam's hand from his arm.

"We need to talk," Sam said, then motioned to a bench on the back patio.

Dean remained standing, "I don't really feel like talking."

"Well, at least listen to what I have to say. You don't have to talk at all, ok?"

One look at his brother's face and Dean knew that he wasn't getting out of it. He dropped onto the bench. "Angel didn't mean what she said," Sam began. "She doesn't know you. All she knows is she sees you treating her mom badly. It's got to stop Dean! The past is the past, what matters is now."

"Sam, there's a lot more going on here than you know," Dean replied.

"No there's not. I see you come over here every day. You hang out with me, you try to talk to Angel or make some kind of connection, but you're ice cold to Lauren. And every day after you leave, once Angel is in bed, Lauren locks herself up in her room and won't come out. I finally forced her to talk to me Dean. I know you're Angel's father."

Dean was only semi-surprised. "I can't be a dad to her; I'll ruin everything. I don't have the first clue about raising kids."

"Are you kidding me?" Sam said. "Come on Dean, think about it. You raised me, and I didn't turn out so bad."

"That's debatable," Dean smiled, albeit a forced smile.

"Look, I know what you did for me growing up. You tried to shelter me as much as you could, keep me innocent to all the things you and Dad did until I was too old for you to be able to hide it anymore. It took me a long time to understand why you didn't want normal. But you never **knew** normal. I knew a little bit of normal, because of you. You were more of a father to me than Dad ever was Dean. I know that now. I guess it took being here and seeing all this to really realize it. I know I should have said this a long time ago, but thank you Dean, for everything," Sam said finally.

"Oh God, do we have to hug again?" Dean moaned.

"Hey, you'd better get used to hugs, because that little girl in there LOVES to hug," Sam replied.

"She does?" Dean asked, his eyes lighting up briefly for a moment.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you can break her of it," Sam joked. "Listen, about Lauren,"

"Sammy don't."

"Hear me out. She's amazing Dean. I mean, you knew that all along, but you just can't see it now. I remember when we all used to hang out together almost every weekend. How many arguments did you and I get into, and I would just storm off and take a walk?"

"And she always followed you," Dean reminded him. "I think you did that crap on purpose to get her attention."

"She hates it when people fight Dean. She'd track me down, force me to talk, I'd plead my case on why you were such a jerk, and she would just listen. Sometimes she would defend you or try to explain your side, but most of all, she just listened. And in the end, she always reminded me that family is the most important thing. We can be mad all we want, but to make sure that we didn't sleep on it, because tomorrow's never promised."

"Yeah, she always was a softy like that," Dean remembered.

"But she's right Dean. In our work, we see people die before their time, families left behind to pick up the pieces with things left unsaid, anger and resentment. We've seen what that can do to people first hand. You've got to let this go Dean. You've got to find a way to forgive her for this or it's just going to consume you."

"Why should I Sam? She walked out on me without a word; she kept my kid from me! Do you know the demon came for Angel when she was six months old? Dad saved them. It should have been me!" Dean said, the anger raw again now.

"Dean, you were what, 22 years old at that point? What would you have done? Do you really think you could have handled that? All three of you probably would have died that night! I know you don't agree with what Lauren did, or Dad. But look at that little girl in there Dean. She's had all the love she can handle because Lauren loved her enough for both of you. She loved her enough to keep her safe and try to make sure she wasn't a target. She loved **you** enough to protect you. It cost her everything she cared about, but she did it anyway, for **her** family, and **ours**. She's done nothing but be good to you since you got back. She hasn't tried to plead her case, she's taken every last piece of crap you've handed her, and said nothing. I'm not saying you have to love her Dean. Just try to find a way to forgive her, for Angel's sake," Sam concluded.

Dean sighed; he knew Sam was right. The brothers stayed there quietly for a few minutes, and then Angel came bounding out the door. "Push me on the swing Sam? Oh, hi Dean," she said.

Lauren looked on through the screen. "I need to talk to your Mom," Sam said. "Maybe Dean could push you."

Angel took Dean's hand, trying to pull him off the bench. "Please!" she said. Dean found an unexpected chuckle escape his lips as he got up to follow Angel to the swing set, realizing that she had taken a lesson to heart and already let go of what he'd done to her mother.

Lauren stepped out onto the porch, eyes glistening. "Thanks Sam," she said. "You didn't have to do that. I appreciate it."

Sam just smiled at her. "Every word of it was true Lauren. You've done an amazing job with her. It can't have been easy. I don't know where you get your strength."

"I get it from her," she smiled as she looked at Angel. "And people like you." She hugged him then.

Dean looked back from Angel toward the back door of the house and saw Sam and Lauren in an embrace and, for just a moment, he was jealous.

Later on, he told Lauren he was ready to tell Angel the truth. He told her first that Sam was his uncle.

Angel gave Sam a huge hug at that news. Then she said, "If you're my uncle and that other man is my grandfather…." she turned and looked at Dean, "Does that mean you're my father?"

Dean gulped in surprise, "Yes Angel, I am your dad."

Angel looked at Lauren, "This is the lie you told Dean that made him mad at you?"

"Yes Angel," Lauren answered. "I'm sorry. I really did think he was dead. But when I found out he was alive, I wanted to make sure he was ready before I told you the truth. I'm sorry I've kept it from you."

Angel reflected a moment, then looked at Dean. "You can be my dad if you promise to be nice to my mom."

Dean swallowed hard, then said, "I can promise to try harder, ok?"

"Ok," Angel said.

For the next couple of weeks, Dean came by every day; spending time with Angel, forcing himself to kiss every scrape and hug every hurt, and covering how foreign it felt to him and how much it scared him. Sam stayed around, mostly because Dean refused to let him leave, but happy for a break from the hunt. Dean tried hard to be civil to Lauren, but he still couldn't sit down and have a normal conversation with her. He thought a lot about what Sam had said to him, trying hard to understand **WHY** Lauren and his father had made the decisions they had. He couldn't have imagined carrying that kind of weight, trying to decide between staying with someone you love or protecting them by leaving. He realized that his father had made the same decision several times, leaving the boys when he felt things were getting too dangerous.

One night he asked Lauren if he could be the one to tuck Angel in. He was about to walk into her room when he heard her finishing her prayers. "Thank you for my family and for keeping them safe. Bless Mom and Dad, Uncle Sam, and Papa John. Amen."

Dean smiled at this and waited outside her door another half second so as not to let on that he'd heard her. He poked his head in the room and asked if he could come in. She said ok, climbing in to bed and perfecting the row of stuffed friends along the top of her headboard, plucking down a unicorn for tonight's cuddle fest.

"Your mom said that I could tuck you in tonight if that's ok."

"Sure."

He snuggled the bed sheets around her, making sure she was cozy and warm. "That ok sweetheart?" he asked.

"Perfect," she said. She looked up at him thoughtfully for a moment before sitting up again. She reached up and wrapped her arms around Dean's chest, squeezing him tight before giving him a kiss. "Goodnight Daddy," she smiled before laying her head down on the pillow and closing her eyes. It was the first time she had called him that. He let the tears come as she drifted off to sleep. He sat in her room for a long time, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest as she slept peacefully. Eventually, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Angel," he said.

He walked into the main house, realizing how late it was when he saw the door to the room Sam slept in shut. _He must have already gone to bed_. It struck him that Sam hadn't had any nightmares since they'd gotten to Tampa. He walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before heading back to the hotel. Lauren was leaning up against the counter, finishing a beer.

"Angel alright?" she asked.

"Amazing," he answered. "She called me daddy!"

Lauren smiled sadly, discarding the empty bottle before walking toward the kitchen door to leave the room. She started to walk past Dean, then hesitated, looking up at him for a moment. Cautiously, she let her head lay on his shoulder, placing one of her hands in his, expecting him to pull away but he didn't. He felt the tears on his shirt as she whispered, "I'm sorry Dean." He breathed deeply, caught up in everything that had happened. He finally understood that she'd had no other choice. He wrapped his free arm around her shoulders, leaning his chin on her head. "No, **I'm** sorry. You made the right decision," he said softly.

She looked up at him then, her eyes searching his, trying to get a read on what he was thinking. "I missed you soooo much," she said finally. He reached down, taking her face in both of his hands then, kissing her softly before murmuring, "I'm sorry I haven't told you every day since I found you again that I still love you." He kissed her again, more deeply this time, before leading her into the bedroom. Dean gave up the fight and allowed himself to feel what he had somehow known had been there all along. This transcended sex; it was love, respect, loyalty and a freedom he had never fully known until now. This was a freedom to truly be himself, no walls, and no barriers hiding his heart. Lauren knew every inch of him, inside and out, and loved him anyway.

Dean never made it back to the motel that night, or any other. He knew where he belonged. For the first time in his life he was truly happy. Lauren would fall asleep contentedly in his arms each night. And Dean would fight the dread he felt, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because Dean Winchester knew, deep in his heart, that he wasn't meant to be happy.

**Normal**

Despite Dean's doubts and fears, life became rather idyllic. Angel's personality reminded him how alike he and Lauren were in so many ways. Angel was a perfect mix of both of them, seeming to get the best (and some of the worst) qualities of each of her parents. She had the same sarcastic wit as they did and took great joy in trying to leave them speechless. She and Sam were constantly thinking of new pranks to play on the "grownups", and the house was always filled with laughter. Dean and Lauren were closer than ever, almost like they had picked up where they'd left off, knowing all of each other's faults and strengths.

John even called about once a week from a pay phone somewhere, long enough to say hi to the boys and Lauren, but spending most of his short calls chatting up Angel, who went on and on about "Papa" after they'd hung up.

Neither Sam nor Angel had any visions and Sam's nightmares were a thing of the past. As the weeks passed, Sam became convinced that the demon had come after them because they were closing in on him. He felt sure BigBad would leave them alone so long as they'd stop hunting him. John agreed to give up the hunt, saying Angel was more important and not able to defend herself. Dean didn't like leaving that thing out there, but with everything going so well, he was more interested in keeping his family safe than aggravating a demon that seemed content to leave them alone.

Lauren went back to work and after the first week decided that it was ridiculous to avoid the stairwells. She still had a hard time when she'd get to the area where she'd been attacked, but felt it better to "face her demons", _funny how the little things sound so different now_, than to run around scared forever. She made it a point to leave the office daily via that stairwell, knowing that was the only way to get past it.

Dean became concerned about providing for his family, but Lauren insisted that the house was paid off thanks to smart planning and a few investments she'd made, so her salary more than covered her truck payment and anything else they needed.

"Besides," she kidded him, "if you're at work all day, you'll miss Oprah!"

"Sammy!" Dean yelled at his brother.

When Dean pushed the issue, she reminded him that she was saving money on daycare since Dean could be home with Angel while she worked and that there were enough bars and pubs in Tampa that he could make the rounds hustling pool now and then without anyone being the wiser. She knew how much he enjoyed it and it gave him a chance to feel like he was doing something to contribute, along with building a relationship with his daughter while Lauren and Sam were gone during the day.

Sam applied and was accepted to Stetson Law School and began to take classes there since it wasn't far from where Lauren lived. He'd thought about getting his own place, but when he'd mentioned it, Angel fainted straight away on the carpet in the living room, causing Sam and Dean both to panic until she couldn't hold in her laughter anymore and Sam promised to live with them while he was still in school. Lauren had seen Angel pull that same stunt more times than she cared to remember and the looks on Sam and Dean's faces were enough to make her nearly fall off the couch from laughing so hard.

Dean and Angel got to be so close they could sometimes finish each other's sentences. Angel brought out a more loving side of Dean. He grinned like a little kid whenever she called him Daddy and it was all Sam could do not to give him crap about it. That ended on the fateful day that Dean had just finished mowing the lawn when Lauren got in from work and the first words he said to her were, "How was your day honey?" Sam laughed until the tears came before he could speak.

"Doesn't this freak you out?" Sam asked.

"What?" asked Dean.

"Oh the manicured lawns, the how was your day honey, doesn't it make you just want to blow your brains out?" Sam mimicked one of Dean's complaints about a suburban neighborhood they had once done a job in. Lauren missed the joke and Dean hurled his sweaty, grass-stained shirt at Sam in protest.

One day, Lauren told Dean all about Angel's school and how well she had done in kindergarten the year before. She would be starting first grade in a couple of weeks and Dean was unusually quiet as Lauren recited all of the accolades of the local elementary school. "What is it?" she finally asked.

"She can't go to school, Lauren," Dean said.

"What do you mean she can't go to school?" Lauren replied.

"It's too dangerous, I can't protect her there," he said matter-of-factly.

"Dean, I didn't sacrifice everything for it to come to this. I'm not going to put her through that life," Lauren began.

"I could home-school her," Dean suggested.

"Doing any better in math these days?" she chided him.

"Laugh it up," he said. "Sam could help on the days he doesn't have class," he tried to sound convincing.

But Lauren put her foot down about this one and there was no changing her mind. There was no sign that the demon was still after them and they had been separated enough times that if he'd wanted to make his move, he would have been able to.

On a chilly day that winter, a surprised Dean woke up to find himself in an empty bed. His aching head reminded him that he might have had one too many beers the night before. That explained why he never felt Lauren get up. Usually, he knew every time she slipped out of bed to get a glass of water or get ready for work.

He walked into the kitchen and found fresh coffee, looking skyward with a quiet, "Thank you." He was surprised to find no noise in the house. It was the weekend. _Angel should have pounced on me by now and where are Lauren and Sam? Probably just went out to breakfast to let me sleep this off_. He was startled by a sudden vibration coming from the kitchen table and Angel's voice saying, "Daddy, pick up the phone, it's me!" _What the hell_? He looked over and saw his cell phone sliding across the table and realized Lauren had snuck a surprise onto it for him. He smiled broadly and picked up the phone. "Hello?" he said.

"Is this Dean Winchester?" Angel asked, trying hard to sound like an adult.

"Yes, yes, it is," he replied. "Who's this?"

"Um, this is Officer Johnson with the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Department; would you please come outside?"

Dean tried hard not to let on that he knew it was her. He stifled a chuckle and said, "Is there a problem officer?"

"Yes sir, it seems someone has crashed your car into the neighbor's house. We need to see you immediately. Please step outside," she said. He could hear Sam and Lauren feeding her lines in a hushed whisper.

"Yes sir, I'll be right out," he said.

"I'm not a sir, I'm a ma'am!" Angel half-yelled, a little offended, then recovered her voice. "Just come on out and there won't be any trouble."

Dean walked out the front door to find a huge red ribbon on the Impala.

"Happy Birthday Daddy!" Angel said, grabbing him into a hug around the waist.

"Thanks sweetheart!" he said. It had been so long since he'd celebrated a birthday that he'd pretty much forgotten when it was himself.

"Happy Birthday honey!" Lauren said as she walked up to greet him.

"Wow, a car!" Dean said sarcastically, "and it looks just like my other one!"

"Shut up smartass," Lauren chided.

"Mom!" Angel scolded.

"Sorry!" Lauren said. "Get in," she instructed Dean.

He sat in the car, not immediately noticing anything different. "I'm in," he said, a little confused.

"Look at the stereo silly!" Angel said from outside his door.

To his surprise, Dean saw a brand new stereo in his beloved Impala's dashboard. "But," he began.

"Now, don't freak out," Lauren said. "Turn on the ignition."

Dean did as he was instructed; still pretty peeved that they had pulled out his cassette deck. Now he'd have to get CDs and…

He looked on in amazement as the stereo's LCD display lit up with _Welcome Dean_. "What the…?" he started to say. As the stereo switched into Aux mode, he saw another message and remembered the stereo Lauren had in her truck and that the screens were customizable. This said simply, _Metallicar_, but she'd found a cool graphic font that looked like the Master of Puppets Metallica logo. He grinned a little bit then, casting a side glance at Lauren as she sat in the passenger seat and winked back at him. He glanced down and noticed a little wire coming from under the dashboard running to a small, black box sitting in its own holder in easy reach. "An iPod," he said, remembering. He grimaced a little.

"Before you say anything, don't worry. All your music is already on here and I'll teach you how to use it. Look, I even made a playlist with all your favorite songs on it so you can just hit a couple of buttons and have HOURS of music without having to worry about changing tapes or anything. And I replaced the speakers so you can crank it as loud as you want. Lifetime Warranty, even if you blow the speakers out."

He had the stupidest grin Sam had ever seen on his face at this point. Dean got out of the car then and Sam pulled him into a hug before he could resist, "Happy Birthday brother, you deserve it."

Dean looked up at Sam. W_hen did he get so much taller than me_? He saw the slight sadness in his brother's eyes. Sam put his hand up, "No chick flick moments."

"No, really man, I know this is…" Dean started to say.

"Look, Jess would want me to be happy. She wouldn't want me to feel like I couldn't help you celebrate your birthday because it happened to fall on the same day as hers. Let's go inside," he said. "I'm starving."

Later that evening, after Angel had gone to bed, Lauren came out of the bathroom and found Dean putting his wallet on the dresser before climbing in to bed. For a few weeks now, she had noticed he was a little antsy. She asked him about it, and he said it was nothing, but she knew him better than to believe it. "You miss the hunt, don't you?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind him as he stood in front of her.

He hesitated a moment. "I'm not doing anything to bring that demon back down on this family," he said resolutely.

"There are other hunts," she reminded him.

Dean sighed. "It scares me sometimes," he said.

"What?"

He turned to face her. "Just how well you know me," he smiled.

"Dean, you spent your whole life saving people from horrible things. Hunting is what you do best. It gave you a purpose, it made you feel needed, important. I never expected you to stay out of the life completely. Maybe we can find a healthy balance," Lauren smiled knowingly.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"Maybe you could find something you could knock out in a weekend, be back in time for me to leave for work on Monday mornings and you can take Angel to school. But not EVERY weekend," she said sternly, putting on her best 'scolding' face.

"God, I love you, you know that?" he said, smiling at her.

"Yeah, but you don't deserve me," she retorted, playfully flipping her hair as she turned her back on him to get into their bed.

He lay down next to her and said, "I can try," with a wink, kissing her gently.

"I'll let you give it a shot," she smiled back at him. "Time to prove yourself tiger!" she giggled while turning out the light.

A couple of months later, Lauren's birthday rolled around and Dean asked Sam to watch Angel so that he could take her out to a nice dinner. She got out of the shower to find him in a suit and tie and stared at him disbelieving. "Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?" she asked.

"I just want tonight to be special. It's a nice restaurant and I thought you'd enjoy getting dressed up with me," he said.

"As long as I get to undress you later," she smiled, slipping her finger between buttons on his shirt to touch his bare chest underneath.

"Deal," he grinned back at her.

They drove to a little restaurant on the other side of town and as soon as she handed her coat to the gentleman at the door and looked around, she looked back at him, smiling broadly. "Dean, it's just like…"

"I know; that's why we're here," he said. "I hunted high and low for a place that would remind you of that restaurant you loved so much."

"Oh, sweetheart, thank you!" her nose wrinkled and her eyes lit up as she kissed his cheek.

"Anything to see that smile," he said.

They had a wonderful dinner and dessert, and to Lauren's surprise, Dean even ordered champagne. Afterward, they took a walk through the garden area behind the restaurant. There were flowers up and down each aisle and beautiful statues and fountains dotting the landscape that bordered a small inlet from the Bay. Lauren paused in a gazebo overlooking the water and gazed out at its shining surface.

"What do you think?" Dean asked, his eyes focused on hers, gauging her reaction as she took it all in.

"Why Dean Winchester," she said in the best southern drawl she could manage, pretending to fan herself. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a true romantic at heart!" Letting her voice go back to its normal tone she said, "It's beautiful Dean; I just love it. You know how I feel about the water."

He stared at her then; her face silhouetted by the moonlight. He took a deep breath and said, "OK, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes."

Lauren closed her eyes and was a little startled when she heard a sharp creaking noise from where Dean was standing. "Ok, you can open them now," Dean said.

Dean took her left hand as she opened her eyes, and she found him on one knee, an open ring box in his hand and eyes wet with tears. "I wanted to do this years ago, but I never got the chance." He gulped, the words coming hard. Nothing he could say seemed like it would be good enough. He slipped the ring onto the tip of its intended finger and poised it there, waiting. He finally decided simple would be the best. "Lauren, I love you. Will you marry me?"


	10. Back to Reality and How a Heart Breaks

**Back to Reality**

Dean was looking up at her through tears with the most nervous expression she thought she had ever seen on his face. _How could he even doubt my response_, she wondered?

She answered without hesitation, "Yes, of course!" He slipped the ring on her finger and then rose to his feet, pulling her into a deep kiss that brought a flush to her skin and sent the tears that had been building in her eyes streaming down her cheeks.

After the kiss, Dean looked at her for a moment, keeping both arms around her. "You should know that I asked Angel's permission first," he said.

She smiled back at him, "And what did she say?"

"Well, it's about damn time!" Dean replied in his best Angel voice.

Lauren laughed at this, remembering what she had said to him after the first time that he had kissed her.

"I swear, she's just like her mother," Dean said, wrapping his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her head as they both looked out over the water together; she lay her arms on his, taking his hands into her own. "And I wouldn't have it any other way," he smiled.

They stood there in silence for several minutes, the world standing still to smile on them in this moment, grinning like a couple of crazy teenagers at first, then just quiet and pensive.

"The ring," Lauren began, turning to face Dean.

"Oh, I nearly forgot, I can get you a bigger one," he said, a little flushed.

"Don't be silly; I love it. It's just… was that the ring box that creaked so loudly when you opened it?" He nodded. "You should have asked the jeweler for a better box, it nearly spoiled the surprise," she giggled.

He hesitated for a long moment. "I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to do this years ago and never got the chance." He pulled the dusty ring box back out of his suit jacket pocket. "I had bought it when we were together the first time. I was going to ask you to marry me the night you disappeared. I don't know why I kept the stupid thing…" his voice trailed off as he absentmindedly rubbed some of the dust away from the velvet box.

"It's not stupid Dean, it's perfect," Lauren said. "I'm glad you kept it. Maybe it means part of you never really let me go. At least that's what I'd like to think."

"Well, I was going to get a new ring for tonight, but I know you're kind of sentimental so…"

"You thought you'd give me the original because it would mean more to me," she finished for him.

"Stupid, huh?" he asked, looking almost shy.

"Dean Winchester, you're the smartest man I ever met," she smiled. "Let's go home!"

0000000000

Despite her prompting, Dean had turned down the suggestion that he do the occasional hunt here and there. Both Sam and Lauren noticed his inability to keep still for long and he was becoming a little less patient in every day things. One day while they were in the kitchen alone, Lauren showed Dean an article in the newspaper about a string of unsolved deaths about an hour from Tampa. Hey eyed her suspiciously. She walked over to the table and turned her laptop to face him.

"When did you set that up in here?" he asked, having not noticed it when he'd walked in for his morning coffee.

"Just before you got out of the shower this morning," she answered. "Look at this."

Dean kept both feet planted firmly where they were.

"Oh come on dork!" she said.

He sighed deeply as though it pained him terribly and she smiled back at him as he started reading over her shoulder.

"Hmmm, I don't think it's our kind of gig," he replied evenly.

"Bull crap," she smacked him lightly on the head with the newspaper.

"Lauren," he began.

"Oh shut up already. Sam said he'd go with you. He's already packing his bags. You can leave after I get off work tonight," she said.

Dean nearly fell over, "Sam said he'd go!"

"Yeah, but he told me to tell you not to make it a regular thing, just now and then. Besides, you two could use some brother time without us girls around. And it'll give me a chance to hang out with Angel one-on-one like you get to do with her after school every day," Lauren answered.

"And you're completely ok with this; it doesn't scare you?" Dean asked.

"Of course it scares me, but I think Sam's right. So long as you aren't going after the demon, he seems content to leave us alone. Dean, you need this. You're pretty good at your job from all I've heard," she smiled.

Dean's eyes lit up and he couldn't stifle a huge grin. "Yeah, I am!"

"Look at you all puffed up like a damn peacock! Now pack your bags so you can go kick some paranormal ass!" she kicked at him playfully as he walked back to the bedroom. "Oh, and Dean?"

"Yeah?" he called back over his shoulder.

"While you're on the road, I need a final list of addresses for the invitations. It's only three months away," she reminded him.

He came back into the kitchen then. "Call Dad, he'll have all the info and know if I forgot anyone, what about you? I mean, I know your parents are gone,"

Lauren sighed. "What?" Dean asked.

"You don't know do you?" she asked.

"Know what? Kandace said your parents died when Angel was a baby," he answered.

"They were the only parents I really knew. I never told anybody…" her voice drifted off.

"What Lauren?"

"I was adopted, Dean," she said softly.

"Why am I just hearing this now?" Dean asked, caught a little off guard at this revelation.

"Come on Dean, does anyone want to admit their parents abandoned them?" Lauren's eyes grew dark. She was amazed at how angry she still was, all these years later.

Dean sat down at the table. "Didn't you ever want to look for them after you grew up?"

"Oh yeah, I wanted to charge into their lives and demand to know what I did wrong. Why wasn't I good enough? But the records were sealed and no one was able to give me any answers. They were cowards Dean; they didn't want me to find them," she said finally.

"I'm sorry," Dean said quietly. "I didn't know."

"It's no big deal really," she said, covering. Dean recognized this reaction. It meant _this hurts but I'm not going to talk about it right now_. She needed space and he was okay with it if that's what she needed. "Besides," she said, "my parents are the two people that raised me. That's what counts."

Lauren insisted he and Sam hit the road that weekend and find out what was responsible for those deaths. On Sunday evening when Dean walked in from the hunt, the light in his eyes was brighter than before, if that was even possible. He had more of a swagger to his walk, he looked proud and fulfilled. In that moment, she was sure she'd made the right choice when she'd encouraged him to go back to what he loved.

Over the next several weeks, Sam and Dean went on a few more hunts. Even Sam seemed to enjoy it now, since it wasn't day in day out, non-stop highway and bad motels. Sam took satisfaction in saving lives; he just didn't enjoy the kills the way Dean did.

The wedding was just a few days away and Dean and Sam were on their way back from taking care of a nasty poltergeist up in Jacksonville when Angel's voice came from Dean's jacket pocket… "Daddy, pick up the phone, it's me!"

Dean grinned at Sam and Sam just shook his head chuckling.

"Hi sweetheart," Dean answered.

"Oh, I didn't think you cared," the voice came from the other end of the phone. Dean slammed on the brakes, nearly sending Sam through the windshield of the Impala. His heart stopped.

"Meg!" It took everything Dean had to hide the terror in his voice. _She called from Lauren's cell phone_. Sam's eyes grew huge.

"And you recognize my voice! That's sweet," Meg replied. Dean could envision the smug smile on her face and his blood went icy.

"I thought I sent you back to hell," Dean said in a voice that was something between a hoarse whisper and a growl.

"Hell is for children Dean. You know, you promised you'd visit, but you were a no show. My father came for me though. He's got a bone to pick with you, by the way. Most fathers would do almost anything for their children, wouldn't you agree Dean? Speaking of children, do you know where your daughter is?"

**This is How a Heart Breaks**

Meg's voice shot straight through to Dean's spine, wrapping itself around it and pulling tight.

"Meg, you lay one hand on her and I'll…" he began, but Meg interrupted.

"She's got your eyes Dean. They're pretty, and innocent, and she has no idea of the things her father's capable of. Did you really think that you could just walk away, have a normal life, and not pay for what you've done? You killed my brother," Meg said.

"Put Lauren on the phone," Dean demanded.

"See, now that's going to be a bit of a problem," Meg said icily. "She's a little incapacitated right now."

"What have you done Meg?" Dean asked, his voice monotone. He had already gotten back on the highway and was pushing the Impala as fast as she would go.

"Oh, I'm just getting started Dean," Meg's voice was slow and calculated, clearly enunciating every word. "I'm going to pick your family off one by one. And there's nothing you can do to stop me!" The line went dead.

Dean dialed Lauren's number back but no one answered. They were an hour from Tampa.

"Where are they?" Sam asked quietly.

"I don't know Sam," he said, his voice a whisper now. "I don't know!" He looked at Sam, and for a split second, the younger brother became the older. Dean's face looked like he was eight years old, and he was terrified. Sam gulped as he looked into the eyes of the one person he could always go to for anything and saw that those eyes held no answers. Those eyes were panicked, wild, and powerless.

Then it happened. The pupils dilated, the eyes grew hard, and he was completely focused on one thing: his family. And God help anything that stood between Dean Winchester and his family.

"We salted the house Dean, we put up all the protection symbols," Sam said.

"And we sprayed Dad with holy water, but he was still possessed Sammy! Meg came back from hell; this family doesn't seem to want to play Demon Monopoly by the rules now, do they?" Dean yelled.

"We'll get there in time Dean," Sam tried to reassure him now, tried to find the words.

"Oh I know we will," Dean said. "Meg won't kill them until I'm there to see it." Dean said resolutely.

"You think she's singling you out?" Sam asked

"Yeah Sam, her exact words were I'm going to pick off your family one by one."

"Why you?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Dean answered. "Maybe because I put a bullet in her brother's head. That would probably set me off," Dean said sarcastically.

Sam didn't know what to do. His mind raced. Lauren was as much a part of his family as Dean or Dad now. And Angel, she was only six years old. She had to be terrified. Sam couldn't even imagine what she was thinking or feeling right now. His jaw set, he straightened up his back. This was not happening, not again. This was it. "What are we going to do," he asked his brother.

"I'm going to take the Colt and I'm going to blow that bitch's brains out Sam, just like I did her brother when he was trying to kill you. That's what we're gonna do," Dean answered. That's what Dean did, went in, weapons blazing, without thought, without question, just get the job done.

"Dean, there's only one bullet left," Sam reminded him.

"You think I'm going to miss?" Dean asked.

"I don't mean that, but if we use it on Meg we won't be able to kill her father. **The** demon that took Mom and Jess and nearly killed you," Sam said evenly.

Dean looked at him like he had just lost his marbles. "You think I care about that right now? That's my daughter that bitch is trying to kill, and my...fiancé." _God, two days, you couldn't just give me two more days so I could actually call her my wife, could you?_ "I don't care about the other demon Sam. I'll fight that war later. This is the only war that matters right now."

They were silent the rest of the way home.

Sam's stomach lurched as they turned onto their street and he saw the lights of the house flickering on and off like they were synchronized to a rock concert. Dean flew out of the car before it had fully stopped, leaving Sam scrambling to the trunk for weapons. "Dean!" he yelled for his brother to wait, but Dean was already kicking in the front door of the house, Colt in hand, searching.

The house was dark and quiet. He looked everywhere and found no sign of Lauren or Angel. "Dean?" he heard Sam quietly call his name. He found him in the living room. "Look," he pointed out the back window to a small stable that he and Dean had built for a pony that Angel wanted.

The lights were dancing there too and Dean could see Meg's shadow pacing back and forth, watching and waiting. He saw Lauren's body inside the front entrance and knew Angel was there too. There was no getting to the stable without being seen and that's why Meg had picked it instead of the main house. She knew the boys would check the house first and they would walk right into her trap, unable to catch her by surprise.

As he walked into the stable, Dean saw Lauren starting to move and realized she wasn't dead. _Thank God_.

"Oh good, looks like the party's ready to start," Meg said.

"I'm a little confused," Dean said, trying to distract her and buy time. "I thought the blonde died."

"Oh yeah, my other host," Meg replied. "She did. But I really liked that body, this body. Don't you? Her twin sister was so distraught over the whole thing that she was easy pickings. I had to cut my hair though; she kept it much too long for my taste."

Sam walked in and was immediately thrown into the wall by an unseen force, sliding down until he was half sitting, half laying, gasping for air. Lauren was dazed, unable to stand, not yet fully aware of what was going on. Meg was crouched behind Angel with a dagger at her throat.

"Daddy," Angel was crying, terrified. Dean aimed the Colt toward Meg, but he couldn't get a clear shot. There was no way to shoot Meg without risking hitting Angel.

"It's ok honey, Daddy's here," Dean said, trying to reassure her, his voice cracking, tears blinding him. He already knew how this was going to end. _She's going to die and it's going to be my fault_. He thought about knocking Lauren back out again so that she didn't have to witness this. No parent should have to see this. _ She won't recover from it and she'll never forgive me. God Angel, I'm sorry. This isn't how it was supposed to be. You're not supposed to go before me, before your mom. I'm supposed to save you, that's what I do, that's what I've always done is protect my family, keep them safe. I'm supposed to be the first one to go._

"Get away from her Meg," Dean said.

"Or what, you'll shoot me?" Meg taunted.

"What do you want?" Dean asked.

"Round and round we go," Meg said in a sing-song voice. "The Colt, of course."

"Let her go and you can have the Colt," Dean said evenly.

"And give you a clean shot? Not a chance, sweetheart!"

"Give her the gun Dean," Lauren said, rising to her feet, still unsteady.

"Meg," Sam's voice came slow, raspy, still trying to catch his breath. He thought he might have cracked a rib. "Take me instead. I'm who your father wants, not her." Dean looked at Sam, one arm out, soothing, trying to make Meg feel less cornered. _My brother is offering his own life for my daughter's. Sammy, she doesn't want to take Angel and she doesn't want us…yet. She's going to kill her and she's going to make me watch her do it. My God, I am such a failure!_

Meg seemed to think about it for a minute. "No deal," she said. "My father will come back for you, for now I'll settle for the Colt."

"Ok, ok," Dean said, lowering the gun to the ground, kicking it toward Meg. She bent down to pick it up but couldn't quite reach it. _It's over now. I have no leverage to make Meg give her up. Goodbye sweetheart, I've loved you every minute since I knew you were mine. I would give absolutely anything to make this different._

Angel was too panicked to know any better and began to run towards Dean when Meg had reached for the gun. Meg yanked her back by the hair just as the blade nicked her neck, a single drop of red blood dripping onto her pale pink pajamas.

Dean was an animal now, stalking back and forth, the sight of that one drop of Angel's blood drawing him into a rage he had never known before. "You've got the gun, Meg. If you want the slightest chance in hell of living through this, let my daughter go! You **don't want** what this will bring down on you if you go through with it!"

Meg looked around and saw Lauren and Sam recovering, the odds about to go to three on one. She thought that she had better cut her losses.

Everything happened so quickly that it was a blur. Dean saw the motion, he saw the blood, he heard Lauren scream, and he heard Angel's choking voice calling him, "Daddy!" Dean saw Sam pick up the gun as Meg backed away, a wall of fire coming out of nowhere. A wall too thick to find a target through; a wall quickly approaching them; a wall starting to swallow his daughter as she choked on her own blood.

It was too late for Angel, but Lauren didn't understand. She hadn't seen what Dean and Sam had seen in their work. All Lauren knew was that her baby was still moving, still breathing. She ran toward the fire, desperate to pull Angel out. Dean caught her and began to carry her out of the stable, Sam beside them, Colt in hand, Meg long gone. And Lauren kicked and screamed and cried and swore at Dean until the force of the explosion knocked them to the ground and she lost consciousness.


	11. Regret and The Pawns

**Regret**

The explosion from the barn had knocked them all down. Dean threw himself on top of Lauren trying to shield her from the blast, but when they fell, Lauren's head had hit a rock and now she wasn't moving.

The sirens were loud now, just coming around the corner. The neighbors were gathering along the sidewalk, talking. _They seemed like such a nice family. Why was she in the barn so late at night? Poor thing, this is awful. No parent should have to go through this. She was only six, had her whole life ahead of her… _Sam tried desperately to block out the voices as he ran over to Dean and Lauren several feet away. Dean hovered over her, stroking her hair, pleading, "It's going to be alright, the ambulance is almost here. It's ok. Lauren, I can't lose you too. Wake up. Baby please, look at me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

The rest was all ambulance rides and Sam calling Dad on the way to the hospital and explanations to Dad and Dad promising to get there, they were only a couple of hours away. Sam was glad Dean had ridden with Lauren in the ambulance. He didn't need to hear the anger and the accusations and the _how could you let this happen_?

_Dean's going to need me. I can't let him down. Dean never needs me. I have to get this right. _ Sam cried for Angel there in the car. Because the world was going to be a much darker place without that little girl's smile to light it up. And he knew when they got to the hospital that he had to be strong for his brother.

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Dean was numb. He felt his body move with the shifting of the ambulance. _I should call Dad. No. Sam will call Dad. _And he sat there and nodded and answered questions about Lauren. How did she hit her head?_ On a rock when the barn blew up. _Your daughter?_ We couldn't get her out in time. _What started the fire? _Oh, you see, there's this bitch demon and she slit my daughter's throat and when my brother tried to shoot her, she set the whole place on fire. Hmmm, better re-think that answer Dean. Nope, can't say that, they'll lock you up and throw away the key. My daughter's dead. Don't cry Dean. Don't cry because if you start, you'll never stop. There aren't enough tears for this. There aren't enough tears in the world. _

He was on autopilot now. He followed the stretcher until the double doors closed behind it and he was allowed to go no further. Dean felt Sam's hands on his shoulders. Sam's hands guided Dean to a chair but he wouldn't sit down. Sam's hands offered him something in a cup but he wouldn't take it. Sam went to talk to the doctor. Sam came back and stood next to Dean.

"Dean," Sam's voice talked to him. "Dean?" _Look at Sam_. _Turn your head and look at your brother. There. _ "The doctor said Lauren's going to be ok. They stitched her up and she's going to be ok. Physically she's fine, but she won't wake up right now." _Something about this being her mind's way of dealing with things. We have to wait, but she'll be ok. _"They say she just needs time." _There's not enough time for this Sammy. Not enough time to process that your child was just slaughtered. Not enough time to say goodbye. Not enough time, never enough freakin' time… _

"They've put her in a room. I'll take you there." Dean shook his head no. Sam looked at him curiously. "Dean, somebody has to stay with her." Dean didn't move.

"Alright, I'll go. When you're ready, it's ICU 3." _Great_! _Same room as last time. At least I won't have to ask directions._

Sam walked to Lauren's room. He took her hand in his own and talked to her quietly. "The doctors say you're going to be okay Lauren. Dad's coming. He was with Missouri. She's really nice, you'll like her. They were on their way already for the…" Sam stopped himself short of saying "wedding." He stroked her hand softly and looked at her laying there. She looked so peaceful. "Take all the time you need. We'll be here when you're ready."

John and Missouri came into Lauren's room not long after that. John went over to Lauren's bedside. "Sam," Missouri gave him a warm hug. "I'm sorry about your niece." Sam forced a smile. She looked at him intently. "You're worried about Dean."

"He's like a robot, Missouri. He won't talk, he's just… They said somebody had to stay with Lauren so I came in here," Sam said.

"John, go be with your son," Missouri instructed.

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John found Dean two hallways over, standing in front of a window. It was raining outside. He strode over to him, ready to confront him. _How the hell could you let Meg get to my granddaughter? What did you do wrong? Why didn't you protect her? What happened? What did you do?_

He stopped short as he got a good look at Dean. The shoulders were slumped, the head was hanging. At 6'1", he had the stance of an eight year old boy. Dean turned and looked at him. He said nothing. His eyes said everything.

For the first time in more than two decades, John Winchester **really** saw his son. He was a little boy trapped in a man's body. A four year old who lost his mother to a monster. A boy who raised his brother because his father was so consumed by revenge that he couldn't do it himself. A boy who never got the chance to be a boy. A boy who deserved a better father than John Winchester. A boy who took the responsibility of the world on his shoulders and never complained about it. A boy who had grown into a man overnight. A man who missed the first five years of his daughter's life because John was a fool who thought he had all the answers. A man who was about to bury that child.

John had felt losing Mary would kill him. He looked into his son's eyes and realized that he had no clue what pain really was, but Dean did. "I'm sorry Dean." John wrapped his arms around his son and held him, gripping tighter and tighter as Dean fought him and tried to pull away, holding him until the tears came. And Dean Winchester wept.

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Missouri sat with Lauren that afternoon, telling them later that Lauren was stuck inside her own head, building a wall, preparing for what was going to assault her when she woke up and realized that this wasn't a dream. That what had happened was real and her baby was gone. "She's fragile. Be patient with her, stand by her, love her," she told them. "That's all you can do."

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Lauren woke up on her wedding day and Dean told her that Angel was gone. She wouldn't look at him. The funeral was two days later. It was a small ceremony, just family and a few friends. At graveside, Lauren kissed Angel's casket and laid a single white carnation on it. Dean watched it being lowered into the ground, looking up for a split second and seeing Lauren staring at him, her eyes full of rage and blame. When the ceremony was finished and everyone had left, Dean stayed for a few minutes, Sam next to him.

"I'm sorry Dean, I wish…"

Dean just shook his head, turning to say goodbye to Angel silently. Sam saw the expression on his face change and followed his line of eyesight to Angel's tombstone:

_Angel Winchester_

_Beloved Daughter_

Sam's face fell, "Oh God, Dean," Sam began. "Lauren told me she'd…. she had Angel's name legally changed to Winchester. She was going to surprise you with a copy of her new birth certificate with our last name and you listed as her father as a wedding gift. They must have used that information for the head stone."

Dean nodded.

"Can I do anything?" Sam looked at him.

"Lauren sure got the name right, didn't she? She was an angel," Dean's voice drifted off. Sam put his hand on his shoulder. "Just let me spend a little time alone with her?" Dean asked. Sam nodded and turned away. When he was out of sight Dean sat down in the grass, the memories coming in waves.

He remembered Friday night campouts in the living room when they would get into their sleeping bags and watch a movie. Lauren and Sam would have popcorn while Dean and Angel had Gummy Bears. And Dean would always eat too many and feel sick and Angel would poke him in the stomach with a giggle and call him Gummy Tummy.

He remembered the day the phone rang and it was the principal of Angel's school telling him to get there right away. The panic he felt that the demon had gotten to her. Walking into the principal's office to see Angel sitting there and asking her if she was ok, did someone hurt her. And the principal saying, "Not exactly; it's just the opposite actually," and telling Dean to sit. Angel's teacher had instructed the kids to draw a picture of their family. Angel had drawn herself in the middle, with Lauren holding one of her hands and Dean holding the other. One of her classmates had looked at her picture and said, "Who's that?" pointing at Dean. And Angel said, "**That's** my Daddy!" And the kid said, "You don't have a Daddy!" and Angel turned around and punched him in the face yelling, "I do too have a Daddy and he loves me with all his heart and if you ever talk about him like that again, I'm going to kick your ass!" Dean started to laugh and the principal shot him a look and he stifled it, promising to talk to Angel about it and that it wouldn't happen again. And he walked Angel out to the car, stopping outside the entrance to the school to talk to her about her behavior. "I'm very disappointed in you," he said. And Angel just looked at him and said, "Dad, he soooo had it coming." And Dean smiled and said, "I would have kicked his ass too," and gave her a high five before walking her back to the car to take her home. It was one of the proudest moments he'd had as a father.

He remembered how her smile would just make everything else in the world melt away and seem unimportant and he remembered the bitch who'd taken it all away. And he swore to his daughter then and there that he was going to make her proud of him every day, just like she'd made him so proud of her. And if it was the very last thing that he did, Dean was going to make Meg pay for what she'd done.

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Dean pulled the Impala into the empty driveway figuring that Sam had gone off with Dad to grab dinner or something and give him some time with Lauren. She hadn't said one word to him since she'd woken up in the hospital. He had to talk to her, had to try to get through.

He walked into the bedroom and began to empty his pants pockets and that's when something on the dresser caught his eye. In the tray that he normally set his wallet and watch was a dusty old jewelry box. The hinges creaked in time with his heart sinking as he saw the ring that he had given Lauren inside and he knew that she had walked out of his life again.

**The Pawns**

Dean Winchester had always had two voices in his head. One was positive and full of self-confidence. It was the voice he usually heard when he was on a hunt. It kept him from giving up when everything else had failed and it looked like he wasn't getting out of this one alive. This is the voice that turned him from man to machine and blocked out anything and everything that did not take him to his purpose.

The other voice was the voice of doubt and fear. This was the voice that Dean heard most often. It was the voice that waged wars in Dean's head whenever something went right in his life. It was the voice that told Dean that he didn't deserve to be happy and that he would spend his days alone. It was the voice that Dean had heard when he'd given Lauren his heart again. It was the voice he **should** have listened to, because if he'd listened to that voice, his little girl would still be alive. This was the voice that haunted him after Angel's death. It told him that it was his fault. And he believed it.

Sam and John both tried to convince him otherwise, but Dean **knew** if he had just walked away, things would have been ok. Angel would still be alive, Lauren would still be whole, and Dean would be off doing what he did best.

Dean was wrong. The demon had other plans for his family. And if Dean had walked away, Angel still would have died that night. Lauren may have too. But Dean didn't know that.

The demon wasn't the only general in this war. There was an opposing general. This general had bestowed certain skills on some of his soldiers and certain gifts upon others. Some of these gifts had remained masked or hidden, and could only be awakened by the events that took place the night that Angel died. This general worked in mysterious ways. Dean didn't know that. Neither did Lauren.

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Lauren woke up this night like she had every other night since she had gotten out of the hospital after Angel died, dripping with sweat and silent tears running down her cheeks. She had covered it when she was still at home, slipping out of bed before waking Dean. She wasn't even sure why she had still shared a bed with him except that Sam, John, and Missouri were there and she didn't want to make a scene. Dean would lie down with her each night and put his hand on her shoulder or stroke her hair, and she rolled away from him. They would lie there silently, back to back, bodies not touching, each alone, though inches from the one person in this world that could have helped them through the pain. This time Lauren was the one who was angry and couldn't forgive. And she hated herself for it. Because deep down, she knew it wasn't Dean's fault.

She rarely slept and when she did, this was her reward. There was no peace in sleep for her, only more pain. She lived on hate. And the hate was what got her through the lack of food and sleep.

She slipped out of bed in the cabin she had rented and padded into the living room, flipping open her laptop. The nightmares were getting worse, but they were changing slowly. The images of Angel's death were forever etched in her memory.

But now the dreams were different. There were other people, other victims, and they seemed like they should be familiar, but Lauren didn't know them. What Lauren did know what that if Dean wasn't going to make Meg pay for taking her daughter, she would do it herself.

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Dean rolled over and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 2 am. What was so special about 2 am? Why was it the same time every single night? 2 am was the exact time that Lauren woke up each night after Angel died and would quietly slip out of bed. Dean let her think that he was asleep and hadn't heard her, trying to give her whatever space he thought she needed at the time. _Why didn't she know that I knew? Did she think I was really asleep and didn't feel her roll over each night, her fingertips just touching my back, starting to reach out to me before she pulled away again? _Didn't she feel that connection anymore, the one that had brought them back together, the one that had reached through his chest that night in the kitchen and grabbed his heart and wouldn't let it go? How could she think he wouldn't know that she lay there awake for hours, falling asleep only long enough to have a nightmare jolt her awake gasping for air and crying?

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Dean walked out into the living room to find an anxious Sam staring at him. He had asked Dad to take Missouri home. She tried to reassure him that Lauren just needed time, but Dean knew better. She would never forgive him for getting Angel killed. He would never forgive himself.

Missouri had walked with Dean to the remnants of the stable before she left that day. There was no trace of Meg and she said Angel's spirit wasn't there. "She has a bigger purpose in the next life Dean. She knows you're strong enough to go on and do what you need to do. Your strength allowed her to move on to that purpose without regret. She knows you did your best by her." Dean looked at her in amazement because strong was the last thing that he felt right now.

"Your daughter loved you Dean. Don't listen to that voice you hear in your head; it's the devil trying to trip you up. Don't let him win. You can do this," she gripped his hand solemnly before turning to meet John at the truck.

Dean looked at Sam again now. "Help me with something?" And Sam helped him burn down what was left of the stable, because he just couldn't look at it anymore.

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Lauren did as much research as she could, trying to figure out what the nightmares meant, who these people were, and why she was having such strange feelings about them. None of it made any sense, but all of it was slowly driving her mad. She knew that she couldn't go on like this. She picked up her cell phone… 6 calls, all Dean, 6 messages, all Dean. She felt her throat tighten and the little girl inside her wanting to just bury herself in his arms and let him make her feel all better again, but no one could do that now. _God Dean, you've got to let me go, I can't be what you need right now. I'm not that girl anymore and I don't think I ever will be again. _She punched some numbers into her phone and pressed send. Her voice was hoarse from not being used. "Hey, it's me. Thanks. Yeah, I know. I need your help."

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Dean called his Dad but the trails of Meg and her father were cold. There was no lead on where to find them. Dad reassured Dean that he wanted them as badly as Dean did and he was doing all he can.

He was becoming more frustrated by the day. It had been weeks since she'd left. Everyone kept telling him she'll be back, she loves you, she just needs time. But Dean was beginning to think she was never coming back. His gut told him there was something very wrong and he felt like if he didn't find her soon, he would be burying her too. There was no sign of her and no one had heard from her. She'd quit her job and left no further information.

Sam came in from class one day and stood in front of Dean in the living room, looking at him, hesitating.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam inhaled briefly, then handed Dean an envelope. "This was in the mail. I think it's from Lauren," he said. "I recognize the handwriting." Dean looked at the envelope addressed to him in Lauren's handwriting and his eyes lit up just a little. He stared at it for a long minute. "Aren't you going to open it?" Sam asked.

Finally, he did. Inside he found the deed to the house, signed over to him. He flipped the page over, and then looked in the envelope. There was no letter and no explanation.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

Dean tossed the deed to Sam as he got up and started to walk away. Sam scanned the sheet silently as Dean disappeared into the bedroom and took a shower. He came back out half an hour later, bags in hand.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"To find Lauren," he answered, walking toward the front door. "Don't go anywhere!"

"How are you going to find her?" Sam asked. "There was no return address on the envelope."

"I'll find her," Dean said as he door closed behind him.

He drove all night and part of the next day, eventually pulling into an abandoned field in a small town that had seen better days. He walked quietly through a woody glen until he came out behind a small cabin that couldn't be seen from the main road.

His breath caught when he first saw her, sitting motionless on a small pier looking out at the water, not seeing anything. She was so thin and pale that he would have thought it was someone else if he hadn't seen her truck parked in front of the cabin on his way down. _God Lauren, when was the last time you ate_?

"I thought I'd find you here," he said so as not to startle her with his approach. She said nothing to acknowledge that she had heard him. He sat down in front of her with his back to the water. "Lauren, look at me," he said. She shifted her eyes from the water to meet his for a moment, and then looked back at the lake. She looked exhausted.

"Have you slept?" he asked, no answer being his answer. "Lauren, it's been weeks; I've been worried sick." She didn't reply. "Please talk to me. Scream at me; kick me, do something to let me know you're ok. I didn't save your life so you could just waste away like this!"

"Save my life?" she screamed and Dean was shocked at how different her voice sounded. "What life? Angel was my life Dean! God trusted me to keep her safe, to raise her to be a good person. I failed! I have no life now. You should have left me there in the stable Dean."

His heart broke at those words. "That's where I belonged, with my little girl," she continued. She stood up now, walking closer to the end of the pier and turning her back on him. He got up and stood behind her.

"She was my little girl too, Lauren. Can't you see that? Don't you know that I wish every day that it was me instead? That somehow I could change what happened? I would give anything to be able to do that…absolutely anything."

Lauren just shook her head, closing her eyes.

"Lauren, you didn't fail." She turned to face him, a look of questioning on her face. "Angel was a great person and she brought happiness to everyone in her life, every single day. I'm the one that failed," he said, his head dropping now.

Lauren was silent again for a minute. Then Dean heard her say very quietly, "You didn't fail either, Dean." She sighed deeply. "It's not your fault. My head knows you did all you could," her voice caught and she stopped herself as Dean looked at her. "But my heart…"

Dean looked closer, searching her eyes for a minute as it finally dawned on him. "You haven't cried for her yet, have you?"

"I can't Dean," she said, trying desperately to hold back. "If I cry, that means all this is real, and she's really gone."

Dean took her face in his hands, his own eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry Lauren, but she **is** gone and the only way either of us is going to get through this is together. I need to share this with you, and I think if you're honest with yourself, you need me too." He pulled her to his chest as she began sobbing, and they mourned their little girl together. And in another world, one of the generals smiled.

Afterward, she pulled away from him again and he knew it was going to be a long road. They stood there in silence for a long time before Lauren turned to face him. "I need your help," she said suddenly.

"Anything," he answered.

"I need you to teach me how to do what you do, and then help me find Meg so I can take care of her myself," she said.

"No way," Dean said. "It's too dangerous. I'm not going to lose you too."

"Dean, I have to do this. I feel like I'm going insane! And I **will** go crazy if I'm not ridding this world of every last one of these things. I can't just sit back and let them do this to another family, another child! **This** is my job now. Don't ask me how I know; I just do."

"Lauren, you don't know what you're talking about. I'll handle it," Dean began.

"If you don't help me, John will," she said, hesitating, letting him think it over. "And if he refuses, then I'll do it myself. With or without help, I **am** going after that bitch. It's personal now!"

Dean knew the look on her face well. There was no fighting with her when she was this determined. He sighed and said, "Ok, I'll help you on one condition." She looked at him curiously.

"You need to eat," Dean said. "You're not going to be any good to anyone like you are now," She nodded reluctantly.

"Then we go after her together," he said.


	12. Aftermath and Starting Over

**Aftermath**

Lauren suggested that Dean pick up Sam, feeling that it would be dangerous for him to be alone, especially if they got close to finding Meg. She had already taken advantage of the family being separated once to take Angel. Dean wanted John to come too, but he thought that would be too enticing for BigBad and insisted they weren't ready for that confrontation yet.

Lauren said she couldn't face going home yet and was going to stay at the cabin. Sam still had three weeks before semester break, so they agreed that Dean would drive back to Tampa to pick him up when class let out. He didn't like it, but Lauren promised him she would be at the cabin when he returned.

"Are we going to talk about them," Dean finally asked Lauren after two days.

"Talk about what," Lauren asked.

"The nightmares," he replied. "Same time every night, 2 am, you wake up from a nightmare. And you're not sleeping well to begin with. Talk to me."

"Dean, Angel died at 2 am," Lauren said quietly. Dean's shoulders slumped. He hadn't put it together. He felt like an idiot. "I didn't realize you knew about the dreams," Lauren continued. "I told you I wanted to sleep in the other room."

"That's not going to fix anything," he said.

"It might help actually. I don't like hurting you Dean, but I just can't be with you. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to what we had. Wouldn't it be easier if…"

"No, it wouldn't," he said, cutting her off. "Tell me about them."

"Come on Dean, our daughter died. That's enough to give anyone nightmares," she said.

"I'd buy it if you didn't keep calling out 'Mom' or 'Dad' over and over again when you're having them," he said.

Lauren was stunned. _Is that who I'm dreaming about? They didn't die in a fire, Dad was killed in a car accident and Mom had a stroke._ "What?"

You keep saying "Mom No!" and "Dad No!" in your sleep before you wake up," Dean answered.

"Dean, I don't even remember the dreams when I wake up," she said, looking away from him.

"You're not being honest with me Lauren. You've got to talk to me about this, let me help you!"

"You can't help me Dean, I just need time. I've been through a lot, so have you. Everybody handles things differently. I just need time," she turned away from him then and walked out to the lake.

Dean sighed. He didn't feel right having to leave her there, but it wasn't fair to force her to go back home after what had happened there. He couldn't be two places at one time, and it was weighing on him. He would feel much better when all three of them were together and he could protect them both.

0000000000

Lauren had taken to her "training" like a pro right from the get-go. She had handled guns before and she was as good as Dean in computer skills so he just had to give her a few clues on search terms. They agreed they would start with "smaller" stuff. The kinds of things he and Sam had hunted while they were searching for John after Dean got Sam out of school.

The weight training was tough on Lauren. She had lost so much weight in the weeks following Angel's death that a lot of her muscle had gone with it. Dean hadn't suggested the weight training. That was Lauren's idea. She didn't want anything getting the upper hand on her, thus endangering Dean, Sam, or anyone else, because she wasn't strong enough.

A nice side effect of the physical training was the pain. The pain kept her from thinking about the other things which tried to get her attention. The nightmares and lack of sleep were starting to take their toll on her body, but the pain helped her focus. The pain kept her going. 

0000000000

It was time for Dean to go get Sam. He eyeballed Lauren as she sat cross-legged at the table, glued to her laptop screen once again.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just tired," she replied.

"Computer screen can't be helping any," he feigned a smile.

"I'll be fine. Get out of here, go get Sam so we can get started on the real thing," she almost smiled and there was a hint of light in her eyes as she'd said it. Dean could tell she was going to be good at hunting, it just scared him. But the best way for him to protect her was to not let her out of his sight and that's why he hated leaving her. He would give up hunting forever if it meant keeping her, Sam and Dad safe. But he knew that hunting would never give him up. Something was always going to find him. He was a target now, his whole family was. And it ate away at him.

He was giving her instructions as he walked to the door so she'd walked with him. She saluted him and said "Yes sir," as he opened the door.

"Hey, this stuff is important Lauren…. Jesus, I sound like Dad!" he said. He looked at her now, glad to see some of her color had returned and she was putting a little weight back on, albeit not much. "Be careful," he said. "I'm driving straight through and back. I should be back in three days."

"OK, three days," she said.

"I love you," Dean said. She said nothing, giving him that same _I'm sorry_ look she always did when he told her that anymore, and cast her eyes downward. He turned to head for the Impala.

"Dean?" Lauren said behind him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for leaving the journal so I can study up while you're gone."

"No problem," he said, turning again to walk to the car.

"And Dean?" she said again.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not giving up on me," she said.

"Never!" he replied, smiling a little, coming back to the doorway and kissing her forehead, cupping her cheek in his hand. His breath caught when she put her hand on his own and held it for half a second. It was such a small thing, but he knew it was huge for her. "And I'm not giving up on **us** either," he said, making eye contact with her then and holding it so that she knew he meant what he was saying. "I know you still love me Lauren, I can feel it. Even if you can't."

She deflected this by rolling her eyes at him, then sighed and said, "You just want down my pants, Dean Winchester," giving him the first real smile he had seen since Angel died, winking despite herself. He'd thought he would never see that smile again.

"Best I ever had," he smiled back at her.

"That's a real compliment considering **your **history," she said, trying to sound serious but he could tell she was teasing him.

"Ouch," he said, putting his hand over his heart, taking a step or two backwards like he'd just been hit with something. "It's still true!" he said, winking back at her.

She shook her head, put her hand on his face, and pushed him out the door, closing it behind him as he walked to the car, grinning all the way. 

After closing the door, Lauren sat down, smiling for a moment before putting her head in both hands and running them through her hair. She sat there for several minutes without moving.

_No rest for the wicked_, she said to herself finally, digging her cell phone out of her purse in the bedroom and then dialing in a number. A man's voice picked up.

"Hey, it's me. I don't have much time. What have you been able to find out?" She wrote down some information in a note pad she had tucked inside her laptop case, and then flipped through the journal Dean had left. "I thought so," she said finally. "OK, let me know if you find out anything else, ok? Thanks."

0000000000

Sam tossed his bags into the trunk of the Impala before climbing into the driver's side so that Dean could get some sleep.

"What happened with Lauren," he asked as Dean leaned his head back.

"Nothing really," Dean replied.

"Are you guys…"

"No Sam, we didn't get back together. She said she needs time," Dean said a little stiffly. He didn't want to answer "relationship" questions right now.

"How's she holding up?" Sam asked. 

"She's still having nightmares every night. Hers are a lot worse than the ones I had in the beginning," he said.

"I didn't know you were having nightmares, why didn't you tell me?" Sam said, a little angry.

"What good would it have done? Our kid just died Sam, I knew I'd have to process it and thought it was natural," he said.

"Are you still having them?" Sam asked.

"Nope," Dean answered.

"Dean?" Sam said. 

"Seriously man, they stopped."

"When?" Sam asked. 

Dean thought about it for a minute. "The day I found Lauren at the lake." _Hmm, that's weird. _ He settled in against the window to get some sleep.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sam?" he answered.

"I don't think Lauren should be part of this. It's too dangerous," Sam said resolutely.

"I agree," Dean said.

"Then why did you tell her she could help?" he asked.

"Because if I didn't agree to help her, she'd call Dad. Worse yet, she'd go off on her own. She's no match for Meg. So we train her, take her out on some hunts; let her feel like she's doing something productive. I know how she feels about this Sam, I don't blame her. This will help keep her mind busy while she's working through everything that's happened."

"What about Meg and her father?" Sam asked then. 

"Trust me," Dean said. "When it's time for that fight, Lauren won't be anywhere around. I'll make sure of it. In the meantime, I can keep her safe. Once I've taken out Meg and Big Bad Daddy, Lauren can finally have some peace."

"Don't you mean you both can have some peace?" Sam corrected him.

"Yeah, we all can have some peace then Sammy," Dean said, his voice drifting off as sleep tried to take its hold. "Wake me up when it's my turn to drive."

**Starting Over  
**

Lauren was surprised at how lonely she felt after Dean had left to go get Sam. It was like the hole in her heart had just opened up again. She used to love spending time alone. It didn't matter now, she had to focus. She had three days to try to figure out what the dreams meant. She knew they had to mean something. She spent her time doing research, training, or sitting by the lake, which was the only source of peace that she had. She felt a connection to Angel there somehow, looking out over the water. She'd always wanted to bring Angel there, to where she and Dean had fallen in love, where Angel had been conceived. It seemed right that she would feel closest to their daughter here.

She walked back into the house to make something resembling lunch, tripping over the laptop case as she'd walked past the table in the living room and stubbed her toe. _Dammit_, she cursed silently to herself, _stupid case_! And that's when it first happened. The laptop case slid across the floor like she had kicked it, but her foot was nowhere near it when it happened. She stood motionless for a full minute. _It's official; I've lost my mind!  
_

Two days later, she was reading and reached for the iced tea she had left on the coffee table, tipping in her chair. She could reach the end of the table, but not the glass. She didn't feel like getting up and was frustrated. Suddenly, the glass moved across the table to her hand. Of course it ended up on the floor, along with herself and the chair because she was so freaked out by the whole thing that she jumped, the weight shifting in her chair enough to tip it over and dump her on her butt. She'd chalked the other day up to lack of sleep and just not realizing she had kicked the case and convinced herself it hadn't really happened. This was unmistakable. That glass had really moved. Ok, maybe there is a supernatural force at work here, a presence in the house. But deep inside, she knew that wasn't the case.

0000000000

Dean was relieved when he pulled up to the cabin and saw Lauren's truck sitting there in the drive. He had been a little worried that he would come back and find her gone.

"Lauren," he said as he entered with Sam on his heels. "We're back," he looked around the living room and poked his head in the bedroom. "She's probably out back," he said as he started for the back door.

Sam had followed him out. Lauren was sitting on the dock staring out at the water with her back to the cabin. _Dean wasn't kidding when he warned me about how thin she is_. His eyes went from Lauren's back to Dean as he caught the slump in Dean's shoulders after seeing her there.

"Mind if I go talk to her?" Sam asked.

"Go ahead," Dean said resignedly.

"This has to be a mistake, it can't be me; I'm not strong enough" Lauren was mumbling quietly and shaking her head as Sam approached. She stopped talking suddenly, with her back still to the cabin. "Hi Sam," she said.

"Lauren, how did you know it was me?" Sam asked.

Lauren hesitated for a minute, thinking. "I don't know; I just did."

"It's getting cold out Lauren, why don't you come inside and get warmed up," Sam said, noting the goose bumps on her arms.

"In a little while," she answered.

Sam walked around her then, sitting down in front her, sliding his legs under hers so they were like two pairs of scissors, edging closer to her, creating a diamond shape between their two torsos.

"Glad I'm wearing jeans," Lauren said sarcastically. "When did your legs get so long?"

"You remember this?" Sam said.

"You're hopeless, you know that Sam?" she said shaking her head.

"Yeah, but you love me," he smiled at her.

She remembered when they first met, before he went away to school. Whenever Lauren was upset about something and would clam up, Sam would sit with her like this, and pull her chin up, invading her personal space and giving her that look until she told him all her troubles.

"It's beautiful out here Lauren; I can't believe I lived in this town and didn't know about this place," Sam said then.

"Yeah, it is. Dean and I used to come out here a lot…" her voice trailed off and she was quiet again. Sam pulled her chin up now and looked her straight in the eyes, expectantly.

"Good God, you've perfected the puppy eyes," she said after about ten seconds. He smiled then.

"I'm your friend, I always have been," he said.

She looked away from him then and back at the water. "I know you are Sam." She took a deep breath. "I talk to Angel out here a lot," she said.

Sam nodded. "I know it's hard Lauren, but…"

"She answers me Sam," Lauren said suddenly, standing up then and walking to the edge of the dock.

Sam's brows furrowed. He got up and walked over to stand behind her, quiet and waiting for the rest.

"I'm going insane! I can feel my mind just slipping away Sam," she said. Sam put his hands on her shoulders, running them down the length of her arms to rest his hands on hers. "I don't know what to do anymore. Something's happening to me and I don't know what it is." She leaned back against him now as silent tears ran down her cheeks.

"You're not going insane Lauren," Sam said, squeezing her gently and reassuring her. "You've just been through hell."

Dean looked on from a window inside the cabin, trying to fight the hurt that he felt that Lauren would feel like she could be more comfortable with Sam than with him. _Don't be stupid Dean; at least she's talking to somebody_.

He watched them there for a few minutes, then saw them walking back up the dock toward the house holding hands and had to remind himself what good friends they had become before Dean had gotten involved with her and again after they'd all moved in together, when he'd shut her out and she was hurting so badly about it. _Sam might be exactly what she needs right now_. When they walked in the door, he could see that she'd been crying. She surprised him by walking past him, pausing long enough to whisper "I'm glad you're back," her lips lightly brushing his ear as she got close, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

He looked at her then, curious, as she walked into the kitchen. "You guys must be hungry," she said. "I'll make dinner."

Dean looked at Sam after she disappeared around the corner. "Well?" he asked.

"She's a little unsure of herself right now, but I think it's to be expected," Sam answered.

Dean started tapping his foot, thinking.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," Dean replied.

"What?" he asked again.

"It's just," he sighed, "I wish…"

"You wish she could talk to you more, not confide in me?" Sam said, striking Dean with how perceptive he was. Dean shrugged.

"She doesn't feel threatened by me Dean. She just needs a friend, a real friend that she doesn't feel pressured to give something that she's not able to give right now," Sam said matter-of-factly.

"She told you that?" Dean asked; he had done his best not to pressure her.

"No, but she knows how you feel. You guys pretty much talk to each other without saying a word; it's like you have this mental connection or something. It doesn't go unnoticed," Sam smiled. "I think deep down she wants to reconnect with you, she's just not ready."

0000000000

A week later they went on their first hunt as a team, a spirit of a teenage girl who had been murdered by her cheating boyfriend after she'd told him she was pregnant.

Dean was so worried about where Lauren was that he walked right into a hallway without looking first, checking behind him to see where Lauren had gone off to. The spirit was right there and promptly knocked the gun out of his hand. He heard, "Drop!" from his right as the thing took a swing at him and Sam took it out in one shot.

Lauren walked over to where Dean was on the floor and reached down to help him up. "Dumb ass!" she called behind her as Dean was still dusting himself off.

"Saved your ass again!" Sam smirked as he and Dean fell in behind Lauren on the way to the front door.

"Shut up Sam," Dean said, more than a little embarrassed.

0000000000

She was a natural, and with every hunt, a little more of the old Lauren started to show itself. A smile here, a laugh there, mostly when she saved one of the brothers after they did something stupid. This was exactly what she needed.

But the dreams never left. They still haunted her at night. And she still got up each night at 2 am, sweating and scared and unsure of herself. Dean knew she would go somewhere quiet, log into her laptop and sit there until dawn, looking for the next hunt, researching.

They were closer now, starting to rebuild what they had before, but it had been a slow process. It had been nearly eight months since Angel's death and Lauren was just now able to start to be affectionate with Dean again, mostly in spontaneous moments when she wasn't really thinking about it. A wink here, a flirty smile there, a kiss every now and then, and the sarcastic comments were flying freely like they used to.

Sam tried not to say anything, afraid of jinxing it for Dean. He was happy again, and Lauren seemed to be getting her self-confidence back. They had brought beer back to the room after finishing up their latest hunt and Lauren hadn't built her tolerance all the way back up again, so she was a bit tipsy after only two. They had been going through their teasing thing again in Sam's hotel room (they had adjoining rooms) while he was trying to catch up on his e-mail.

"Will you two get a room already?" Sam finally said, exasperated.

"We already have one!" Lauren laughed. Dean looked at Sam, cocking his head to one side and half chuckling as he shrugged his shoulders. He'd had enough beer at this point that he was starting to hit his groove. Lauren stepped through the doorway to the room she and Dean were in, poking her head back through and pointing at Dean with her index finger, crooking it back to motion him into their room with a "come hither" look on her face.

Dean smiled and got up, then caught himself. "I couldn't take advantage of you in this situation," he whispered in her ear quietly after thinking about it.

"Screw that," she said, grabbing his arm then. "You need to learn to have a little fun in your life Dean!" He pulled away long enough to grab two more beers from the fridge, raising his eyebrows at Sam as he allowed Lauren to drag him into the next room again.

"Goodnight Sammy!" he said, winking as he started to close the door behind him, his eyes lit up in the biggest grin Sam had seen since Angel's death. _Damn you Meg!  
_

"It's about time!" Sam called after them as he slung a pillow at the doorway, laughing.

0000000000

A few weeks later, Dean got up one morning to find Lauren sitting at the little coffee table in their motel room, laptop open, rubbing her temples forcefully. The fact that she had quickly switched screens when he sat up in bed had not gone unnoticed.

"Another headache?" he asked, then heard a knock at the door.

"I'm fine," she answered, getting up to greet Sam as he came over for morning coffee. Sam always came over to their room as soon as he woke up.

"Hi Sam," she feigned a smile as she headed out the door. "I'm going for a run," she called over her shoulder to Dean as she left.

"What's wrong with her?" Sam asked Dean as he closed the door behind him.

Dean sighed. "She says nothing."

"That wasn't a real smile, you guys have a fight?" Sam asked.

"Nope," Dean answered, "but she's hiding something. How are your computer skills these days little brother?"

0000000000

Lauren came back in about an hour later dripping sweat. Dean and Sam were sitting at the coffee table in front of the laptop.

"I'm going to get in the shower. You boys find something for our next job," she asked, taking the ponytail holder out of her hair.

"Not sure yet," Dean said. He seemed angry.

"What's up?" Lauren asked, walking back over to where they were sitting, as Dean turned the laptop screen so that she could see it.

"Mind explaining this?" Dean asked evenly, as the screen revealed an old newspaper article with a picture of a baby wearing an amulet exactly like the one she had given Dean.


	13. The Amulet and Elements

**The Amulet**

Dean's eyes were intent on Lauren as he glanced from the laptop screen to her face. The newspaper headline read, **"Baby Orphaned After Home Fire"**.

Lauren sighed, "You guys will think I'm crazy."

Sam looked at her sympathetically, "Lauren, in this line of work, nothing's crazy anymore."

Lauren ran her fingers through her hair and began to slowly pace the floor. "After Angel died, I started having these nightmares all the time. First, they were just about what happened to Angel: Meg, the knife, the fire, that sort of thing. But then the dreams changed. There was still a fire, but it wasn't in the stable, it was somewhere else."

"Where?" Sam asked.

"I wasn't sure," Lauren answered. And there were other people, but I didn't recognize them. I thought it was just because of everything that was going on, my brain's way of reacting to it all. Then Dean found me here, and later said that I was saying Mom and Dad in my sleep. It didn't make sense to me, because my parents didn't die in a fire."

"Your **_adoptive_** parents didn't die in a fire," Dean reminded her.

"Exactly," Lauren said. "My biological parents had given me up for adoption. I'd tried to find them years ago, but all the records were sealed. I got nowhere then, so I'd given up. It wasn't until now that I really thought I should pursue it again. I just want all of this to be over, and the nightmares to stop. They're getting more intense and I don't know what they mean."

"What happens in your dreams Lauren?" Sam asked.

"Well, it's like when the demon came for Angel when she was a baby," she said quietly. "There's a baby in this crib and the baby's mother comes in and gets pinned to the ceiling, the dad comes in to see what's going on, the whole place catches fire and they all die. Except now I'm not so sure."

"Not so sure about what?" Dean asked.

"That they all die. Because the baby in that picture? It's me," she said finally. Dean and Sam's eyes widened. "Apparently, my parents, my real parents didn't put me up for adoption. They were killed in a fire. A fire that I survived, but nobody knows how. I was six months old, to the day," she said, her eyes settling on Dean, knowing the significance.

"But, you don't have…" Sam began.

"I had an older brother," she continued. "He would have been four or five when our parents died if he had survived the fire that happened on his **own** six month birthday. I'm still trying to piece it all together really. I think the demon assumed I had abilities too and came for me. Maybe he spared me when he realized I didn't have any, but why would he kill my parents then?" she wondered out loud, turning to stare out the window.

"What else have you found out?" Dean asked.

"The best I can figure out is that my parents saw something the night my brother died that led them to believe it wasn't your typical fire. Kind of like what your Dad did when your Mom died. They found out the truth and became hunters themselves. They must have given me the amulet for protection after I was born."

"So the amulet in the picture, it's the same one that you gave me?" Dean asked. Sam looked at him curiously.

"Lauren's the one who gave me this, after you went to college, right before Dad managed to split us up," Dean told his brother. _Now I know why he wears that thing all the time; it was from her. _He had first noticed it when Dean picked him up from school to try to find Dad. Dean showered in it, slept in it and he **never, ever** took it off. The shape shifter had taken it from him when he assumed Dean's form and Dean took it back after he killed him. _What a chick-flick thing to do, keeping it all this time_ he thought to himself and smiled briefly, then looked up at Lauren again.

"It was in a box of things my adoptive parents had given me when I graduated from high school and moved into my own place. At the time, I didn't think anything of it, but I had gone to a psychic with some friends as a joke one day and she started muttering all this stuff about how it was meant to protect whoever was wearing it from evil and things like that. I didn't believe in this stuff then and it kind of creeped me out, so I stopped wearing it. After what your dad told me when he was trying to split us up, then seeing what that thing had done to you Dean, I realized that it was probably true, and that's why I gave it to you, for protection. According to what the psychic told me, it also protects the wearer from being possessed."

"That would explain why Ellicott wasn't able to get to you when he attacked you at the asylum Dean," Sam said then, still feeling awful about what had happened there that night.

"Yeah," Dean said quietly.

"Look guys, I don't know what this all means, but now you know as much as I do," Lauren said then.

"I'm sorry Lauren, about your parents. This has to have been tough for you to dig up," Sam said, getting up now.

"Thanks Sam," Lauren replied.

"I'm going to hit the shower," Sam said, leaving the room.

"Why didn't you tell me what was going on Lauren?" Dean asked after Sam had left. "With everything we've been through together, don't you know you can tell me anything? Didn't you think you could trust me?"

"Because I was afraid of the truth Dean. I wasn't sure what I was going to find out," Lauren admitted.

"Whatever it is, we can face it together," he said. "Don't keep secrets from me, ok? I can't keep you safe if I don't know what I'm dealing with." He headed into the bathroom for his own shower.

"I'm not the one who needs to be kept safe Dean," Lauren said almost silently after he'd closed the door. She looked at her cell phone sitting on the nightstand about fifteen feet away, bringing it to her hand without moving from where she stood. "You are."

**Elements**

It still freaked Lauren out that she could move things with her mind sometimes. She walked outside with her cell phone and looked over her shoulder to make sure she was alone when she dialed the number.

"Hey, it's me," she said. "I'm afraid there's been a complication. They found the link to the amulet. I guess Sam hacked into my old web searches and found the newspaper article from the fire."

"That does complicate things, what did you tell them?"

"I told them the truth, what I found out about my parents, the fire, my brother, where I got the amulet, but that's it," Lauren responded.

"Lauren, you know if Dean finds out what's going on here, it will ruin everything. He won't stand for it."

"John, I **hate** lying to him, not telling him everything we've found out."

"I know, but you're doing it to protect him. He loves you, and if he knows what a risk this is, there's no way he's going to see it through and then he and Sam both will probably die," John replied. "How are things coming with your newfound gift? Have you been practicing?"

"Yeah, 'use the Force Luke'," she said sarcastically. "I'm such a freak!"

"You're not a freak," John reassured her. He hesitated. "Lauren, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done, everything you're **doing **for my boys."

"I don't have a choice John. That bastard killed my parents, my brother, Mary, and who knows how many others? And his daughter, she took my little girl. I know it's not Christian-like to want revenge and all, but how long is God going to put up with this crap?" Lauren asked.

"From what we've read, not much longer," John replied. "Not much longer at all."

"I'm not ready John," Lauren said, fear taking over her voice.

"Lauren, you're the strongest woman I know. You'll be ready when the time comes. I'd give anything to be able to take this burden from you. I know how much you hate lying to him. Maybe this is a bad idea," John's voice cracked a little through the phone line.

"John, it's never going to end unless we end it. You know that," Lauren said

"I know. I just wish there was another way. You'd better go now before Dean discovers you're talking to me."

"Dean? Dean's not the problem; that man spends more time in the shower and preening himself in front of the mirror than I do. I think he should have been born a woman. Sam might be about done though. I'll be in touch," she said as she clicked her phone closed.

She walked back into the motel room. Five minutes later, steam preceded Dean's entrance into the main living area.

"Hey," Dean said, "I'm sorry about earlier. I still wish you would have talked to me about this."

"I was scared Dean, that's all," she replied.

He smiled then, changing the subject, "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Notice what?" Lauren asked.

"That you'd moved the ring from hanging on your necklace to back on your finger where it belongs," he said, taking her left hand in his right and kissing it just below the ring, "I would have asked you again properly if I'd known you were ready to wear it again," he said. "I didn't want to push."

"And that's exactly **why** I'm ready to wear it again, because you **didn't** push," she smiled. "Thank you, again, for not giving up on me Dean."

"Never," he said with a smile. "I told you I knew you still loved me."

"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"Sure of us," he offered.

"Did you save me any hot water? I'm the one who went for a run this morning," she teased him.

"Mmmmm, I like a sweaty woman," Dean said in a low voice, arching his eyebrows at her flirtatiously.

"Is that a line?" she smiled back.

Dean's response was a simple grin.

"How about I give you a reason to need another shower?" she smiled.

0000000000

"Hey Dean," Sam called his brother over to the table he was sitting at in a dive somewhere outside of Louisville.

Dean walked over to join Sam. "What is it?"

"I think I found a weakness for the demon," Sam said, looking up at his brother, who was too busy staring at Lauren on the other side of the bar near the pool tables. "Dean, will you pay attention please?"

"I hate that. She's as good at pumping men for information as I am the ladies. Come on! There's no way she has to get that close to him," Dean said.

"You two crack me up. There's no way in hell either one of you would do anything with someone else, yet when one of you is working the job, the other's all squirrelly about it."

Dean looked at Sam. "Squirrelly? There's nothing squirrelly about me Sam. Handsome? Yes. Awesome brother? Yes. Squirrelly? No. I don't do squirrelly Sam."

"Whatever, will you just pay attention?" Sam said. Dean looked at the old book he was pointing at. "It says here that the fire demon's weakness is a combination of three elements. When all three of these elements come together, the demon will be trapped and completely destroyed!"

"What? We have the Colt, we don't need any **_elements_**," Dean said, a little annoyed, glancing back over to where Lauren was flashing that trademark smile of hers at a rough looking young man. "Hey, is that her ass? That skirt is way too short! She never wears that skirt when we're out. When did she get that skirt anyway?" The man put his hand on Lauren's shoulder and started playing with her hair. Dean's hackles were rising now. "If he touches her again,"

"Dean, relax! Lauren knows how to handle herself. She's fine, let it go," Sam chuckled. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"About the elements?" Sam asked, exasperated.

"I suppose a backup plan isn't a bad idea. What are these elements?" Dean asked.

"It doesn't say, just that all three together will destroy the demon," Sam answered.

"Well that's helpful Einstein, thanks!" Dean rolled his eyes as Sam shut the book with a thud.

Lauren winked at her newfound friend as he left the bar, walking past Sam and Dean as he did so. Dean gave him a dirty look, and then gave Lauren an obviously fake smile as she joined them at the table.

"So what did you find out?" he asked.

"Nothing, I came up dry," she frowned.

"Came up dry? In **that** outfit?" Dean practically shouted.

Lauren smiled, reaching into her bra and pulling out a cocktail napkin. "Bingo!" she winked at Dean. "Let's go."

Dean huffed in disgust, "I hate it when she does that," he said, following Lauren out to the car. Sam just laughed.

"Vampires? You're kidding me right?" Sam asked when they got back to the motel. He had already packed his bag and was now in Dean and Lauren's room.

"Nope, I don't kid about vampires Sammy," Lauren said matter-of-factly.

"God, now **you're** calling me that?" Sam said, rolling his eyes. Lauren grinned. "It's almost sick how much you enjoy this job, you know that?" Lauren's eyes got bigger and lit up with a smile as she was packing up her things.

"I've said it before, I'll say it again," Dean remarked. "Vampires. Get's funnier every damn time I hear it," he shook his head. "Pop quiz, Queen of the Damned, what's the best way to kill a vampire?"

"Only one way," Lauren replied, slipping a machete into a custom holder on a utility type belt she'd made up for herself over the last few months. "Decapitation," she said, smiling. "Let's go," she called over her shoulder as she headed outside.

"God I love that woman," Dean sighed.

0000000000

Dean sat up in bed one morning to find Lauren sitting in a chair, looking out the window of their motel room which faced a small pond. "Lauren?" he said cautiously. "What's wrong?" She didn't answer.

He got out of bed and walked over quietly to where Lauren was sitting. She was shaking her head no, her knees were pulled up to her chest, tears were streaming silently down her cheeks, and she was whispering to someone unseen, "It's too soon. I'm not ready, I can't.

"Lauren, it's ok, it's me," he said, kneeling down beside the chair. He reached out to touch her shoulder, pulling it back quickly. She was burning up. "Sam!" he yelled as she collapsed against him unconscious.


	14. Preparing For War and The Final Battle

**Preparing For War**

Lauren was slumped against Dean unmoving when Sam came in the door. "What happened?" he asked with wide eyes as Dean picked her up and carried her over to the bed.

"I'm not sure, she was staring out the window talking to herself and just collapsed," Dean said, worried. "She's got a fever; go get some cool washcloths out of the bathroom and some Tylenol out of the bag she keeps in there, please?"

"There's no Tylenol in here Dean," Sam said a minute later, coming out with a couple of washcloths.

Lauren had started to come out of it, slowly regaining consciousness. "I took the last ones a couple days ago, forgot to get more," she said weakly.

"More headaches?" Dean asked.

Lauren nodded, "there's a convenience store in town, mind getting me some more?"

"You going to be okay until I get back?" Dean asked. She had sweat running down her cheeks and was breathing hard.

"Just go."

"I'll keep an eye on her Dean," Sam said. Dean sighed and grabbed the keys, heading out the door to the local town. Sam heard the Impala rev up and head out.

"You ok Lauren?" he asked, obviously concerned.

"I'll be fine," she smiled, but he wasn't convinced. He took her hand in his own and then froze, his head pounding suddenly, a vision sweeping over him.

"Sam?" Lauren said, "What is it?"

Sam rubbed his temples fiercely. He hadn't had a vision since the one he'd had that brought them to Tampa when Lauren was first attacked by the demon. He'd learned not to try to fight them; just let them take their course. When it was over, he looked up at Lauren with tears in his eyes. "Lauren, you…you…oh my God!"

"It's ok Sam. At least now I know how it ends," she said sadly. "I kind of thought it might be that way."

He looked at her incredulously, realizing somehow she knew what he'd seen. "It's not ok! Dean and I can stop this; we **will** stop this from happening."

"You can't tell Dean about this. Promise me you won't tell him, Sam!" she said desperately, squeezing his hand as hard as she could manage, her eyes pleading with him.

"I can't keep this from him Lauren," Sam started.

"You have to Sam, it's the only way to keep him safe," Lauren said, "I need you to do something for me." Sam looked at her again, the tears running freely down his cheeks now. "Think you can find something to keep you busy for a couple of days, give us some time together?"

"Sure," he smiled for a moment. Then, a look of slow realization came over his face. "You want to say goodbye!" Lauren looked away and said nothing.

They sat there in silence until they heard the car pull into the parking lot again. Lauren squeezed Sam's hand and he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I love you Sam, please do this for me."

"I love you too," he gulped.

Dean came in with a bottle of water and the Tylenol, giving it to Lauren who pulled herself upright.

"Those cool washcloths helped, thanks Sam," Dean said as he realized her temperature had already come down some.

"No problem, glad to help," Sam replied.

"You ok little brother?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah, just tired, I guess. I'm going back to my room, grab a shower," he said as he left.

Sam paced back and forth in his own motel room now. _What am I going to do? I have to tell him. Do I really have to choose between my brother and my best friend?_ Because in the end, that's what this was about. He decided he wasn't going to have to make that choice._ I will give Lauren her couple of days, but I will spend that entire time finding a way out of this. I can do this. _He told Dean to enjoy some time with Lauren and he would let them know when he found their next gig.

A few days later, Sam realized that Lauren was right. "We got a lead on the demon," Dean said intently when they went to breakfast that morning.

"Really?" Sam said. "Where?"

"Some remote island. The signs have started up again," Dean said, scarfing down his bacon and eggs.

Sam nodded. Lauren looked up at him silently. "Alright," Sam said. "When do we go?"

Lauren smiled then, "right after breakfast!"

"What about Dad?" Sam asked Dean.

"What about him?" Dean replied.

"You called him right; he's meeting us there?" Sam said.

"No, I'm not having him run off half-cocked. You know how he is about this demon Sam. It's our turn to protect him, mostly from himself," Dean said with finality.

"Dean," Sam began.

"End of discussion Sam!"

0000000000

"You do realize we're going to have to fly Dean," Sam said when they were on the road.

"Nope, we're going by sea and no customs either, so we can take whatever we need," Dean replied.

They arrived on the island a couple of days later and set up in a cabin in the woods. The information they had isolated the point of attack to a three mile radius. There were no homes in the area, just a small abandoned warehouse. That's where they would start.

That morning, Lauren came out of the bathroom with a confused look on her face.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked.

"My ring's missing," Lauren said sadly.

"Did you take it off somewhere?" he asked.

"I had it when we left to come here, and I remember taking it off before I showered yesterday, but I could have sworn I put it right back on afterward. I've looked everywhere," she said.

"We'll find it," Dean said.

The three went through their routines as normal, acting like it was any other hunt, packing everything they could think of. Sam came out of the bedroom, bag in hand, and saw Lauren and Dean gathering their things on the living room table.

"Dean, she can't go," Sam said.

"Already thought of it Sammy," Dean said as he grabbed Lauren from behind, pulling her into a chair and beginning to tie her hands behind it.

"Dean, we talked about this, you promised," Lauren said angrily, struggling to get free from his grip as he was securing the ropes.

"It's too dangerous Lauren," Dean said.

"Sam, you said you wouldn't tell him," Lauren yelled at Sam, tears building in her eyes.

"Tell me what?" Dean said, looking from Lauren to Sam.

"Dean, please, I have to be part of this. This thing killed my parents, my brother, his daughter took our little girl, please," Lauren pleaded.

Dean looked at her now, his heart filling, and wavered, reconsidering.

"Dean, if you let her come, she'll die. I saw it," Sam said.

"Sam!" Lauren screamed.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked Sam.

"I had another vision. We were confronting the demon, and he killed Lauren," Sam said matter-of-factly.

"And you waited to tell me this until now, **_why_** exactly?" Dean thundered.

"She asked me not to, and I was afraid of splitting us up until it was time to go. In my vision, we're all together when it happens."

"Tell him who **we** are Sam," Lauren said indignantly. "In your vision, John was there too, right? That vision isn't coming true tonight Sam. Dean, you have to let me go with you. I have to be there. You have to trust me!"

Dean knelt down by the chair Lauren was in and said softly, "Lauren, if anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd do. I'm not going to risk it. I'm going to get rid of this thing for good, so that you and I can finally move on with our lives," he smiled, kissing her softly.

She returned his kiss with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Dean," she locked his eyes in her gaze, begging now. "If you go without me, you're not coming back," she said. "You and Sam will both die tonight, please don't go," she began to sob.

"I've been doing this a long time," he said, stroking her hair, trying to reassure her. "I am not dying tonight. I'm coming back for you!" He turned and joined Sam at the doorway.

"I'm sorry Lauren," Sam said quietly as he joined his brother. "I'm sorry."

Lauren hung her head and cried as the door closed behind them.

0000000000

They saw no sense in salting the warehouse because they wanted the demon to be there. Dean had the Colt and the last bullet, ready to make their move. They were there about five minutes when they heard something behind them.

"Show your face you son of a bitch!" Dean said whipping around.

Out from the shadows with his hands up, stepped John Winchester. "Hi boys," he said quietly. Dean and Sam stared open-mouthed.

"Where's Lauren?" John asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Back at the cabin, safe. How the hell did you find us?" Dean asked.

"She has to be here," John practically shouted. "It's the only way!"

"What are you talking about?" Sam said.

"We don't have time for this," John said. "We have to get out of here now!"

"Dad, it's ok, we have the Colt!" Dean said exasperated, pointing at the gun as he and Sam followed John back toward the entrance.

"Going somewhere boys?" a familiar voice said as it snatched the Colt from Dean's hand and sent all three colliding into a wall.

0000000000

Dean woke up; his head hurting as he slowly raised it to look at his surroundings. This routine was starting to get old. Sam and John were pinned to one wall about ten feet away from the one he was adorning. He struggled, only to have his head snapped back against the wall.

"Miss me baby?" a voice said to his left.

"Meg," Dean said. "This is perfect. You're just who I wanted to see," he grinned defiantly.

She drew closer to him now, breathing hot along his neck. "I missed you too," she whispered. "You know," she said, looking down at her hand, "if I were Lauren, I would have asked for a bigger stone. Lord knows she's earned it dealing with your family and all you've put her through all these years. Still, it was a nice thought. Very sweet, I didn't think you had it in you to be honest. But, fun's over for Lauren. You're mine now, and I don't like to share," Meg said, approaching him again.

"You're crazy! You killed my daughter!" Dean yelled, furious.

Meg cocked her head and looked at him. "Sorry about that. Try not to take it too personally. Besides," she whispered, running her tongue along his ear. "We'll make beautiful babies together, you just wait! I'll make you forget all about the pain, and Angel, and Lauren. I'm all you need baby!"

"I don't think so!" Lauren said from behind Meg as she slammed her in the back of the head with a pipe.

"Bitch stole my ring," she said, removing it from Meg's hand and replacing it on her own.

Dean and Sam looked on in amazement. "How the hell did you get..." Dean began, but there was no time to finish his question as a dark swirling presence entered the room, gathering itself in the middle before taking human form.

Lauren backed away from Dean toward the center of the room, turning to face the yellow eyed demon. He eyed her carefully.

"Xaphan," Lauren said finally. "Your timing is perfect. I have presents for you!"

**The Final Battle**

"Xaphan?" John asked. "As in one of the fallen angels who sided with Satan Xaphan? As in the one who came up with the idea to set heaven on fire Xaphan?"

"One and the same," Xaphan said.

"It's him," Sam said. "The one who took Mom, and Jess!"

"Right again," the demon smiled, his eyes glowing.

"Of course it's him, the signs were all there," Dean said.

"About that," Lauren began. "I hacked the websites, made it all up to get you here. I knew he couldn't resist all three Winchesters in the same place at the same time," she smiled, looking at the demon now.

Father and sons looked at each other and realized they'd been suckered.

"I don't understand," Sam said. "Lauren, after everything this demon has put our families through, why would you do this?"

Meg rose to her feet now, angry, and more than a little sore from the blow from the pipe. "I've had about enough of you," she screamed at Lauren, gesturing at her with the same movement of her arm that had thrown the three men into a wall not long before that. But with Lauren, it only threw her back a couple of feet and she kept her balance fairly easily.

"Gee Meg, no protein shake this morning?" Lauren asked. Dean, Sam and John gaped as Lauren responded with her own arm movement that threw Meg halfway across the room.

"You've been holding out on me Lauren," Xaphan said.

"You don't know the half of it," she said, glaring.

"And you forget who you're dealing with," he reminded her, pinning her to the wall opposite Dean. "Did you really think that you could lure me into a trap and finish me off?"

"I was counting on it," Lauren said.

Dean was speechless. Everything he'd done to try to keep her safe, keep his whole family safe, and here they all were, at the mercy of the very thing he'd pr

omised her he would destroy.

Sam tried desperately to focus on the Colt and finish this before his vision became reality.

"This throwing us up against the wall deal is getting pretty old, haven't you got any other tricks?" Lauren asked.

Xaphan turned to face her now, staring at her with his yellow eyes. Lauren yelled out in pain as blood began to appear around her abdomen.

"Lauren!" Dean yelled.

"It's a little late for that, don't you think?" Lauren said to the demon as she looked down at her stomach.

"You refer to the prophecy about the elements?" Xaphan asked, laughing. "I suppose it's possible that I missed you as an infant and that you are one of them, but your child is gone."

"She's even more powerful now than she ever was in this life!" Lauren responded.

"What do you think she's Obi Wan Kenobi?" Meg scoffed, changing her voice to mimic Alec Guiness, "Strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine?"

"Something like that," Lauren sneered.

Meg stalked toward Lauren now, taunting her. "She's dead and gone. Don't tell me you've forgotten. I took a dagger and slit your daughter's throat."

"You know Meg, sometimes you talk too much!" Lauren practically spat. Meg whirled as she heard a gun cock behind her, turning to find herself staring down the barrel of the Colt, suspended in mid-air, firing its last bullet into her forehead.

Dean and John stared at Sam, but he only shook his head.

"Damn, I thought she'd never shut up!" Lauren said, almost laughing.

"What the hell did you do?" Dean yelled, "That was the last bullet!"

The demon whirled on Lauren now, howling. He stared at her, but responded to Dean. "Your little girlfriend here thinks she has it all figured out. She **knows** the Colt won't work on me. Sam used it on me once already."

"I thought I'd missed," Sam said.

"Only one way," Lauren said, her breathing more labored now.

Dean felt a tingling in his chest and braced himself for the demon to execute all of them on the spot, but there was no pain. The demon was focused on Lauren now, furious over Meg's death. "You made a terrible miscalculation Lauren, and it's going to cost you everything."

"That's where you're wrong," Lauren said.

"I'm surprised I didn't sense your abilities before," Xaphan replied thoughtfully.

"Yeah, funny about that, don't you think? I wonder how many others you've missed," Lauren said.

The demon began attacking Lauren a little more strongly now, and she cried out in pain, bleeding more intensely than before, but Xaphan had decided that a slow death would suit his purposes.

John and Sam were fighting desperately against the invisible bonds which pinned them to the wall.

"Lauren! Come on you son of a bitch, why are you bothering with her?" Dean was trying to deflect the demon's attention from Lauren. "I killed your son, remember?" Xaphan didn't seem to hear him, focusing on Lauren and not wavering.

The tingling in Dean's chest grew stronger and he realized that it was coming from where his amulet rested. Suddenly, he heard Lauren talking to him. _The amulet Dean, it hid my abilities from Xaphan when I was a baby. It hides yours too. _Dean snapped his head up, eyes wide, staring at Lauren. Lauren was fighting hard not to scream, her face contorted, feeling her flesh start to split open. Then she looked up at Dean with determination and gave him a single nod.

Dean's heart began racing now, desperate to save Lauren, unable to really believe what was happening. _Angel's the key Dean, help me reach her. It has to be all three of us, the family. Call to Angel. I can't hold on much longer Dean, we have to do this together! _Dean closed his eyes, head down, focusing. The amulet fell from his neck.

"No!" Sam screamed. John looked at him. "My vision. It's happening. No!" Sam wanted to close his eyes, not see what was about to happen.

The demon whirled around to face Dean as soon as the amulet fell, his eyes crazed. "You!" he said incredulously, and Dean began to bleed too.

Lauren looked up now, "God's had enough Xaphan," she said quietly.

He looked back at her, laughing. "There have to be three elements Lauren. You really should have been more thorough in your research."

"You forget what day it is," Lauren responded, using every ounce of her strength. Her head dropped again, the only thing holding her up was the demon's lock on her body.

"Dean?" John said now, looking from Lauren to Dean and back again. Lauren looked bad. _She can't take much more of this. _John's breath caught in his chest. _Will any of us live through this?_

"November 2nd," Sam yelled suddenly. "All Souls Day! The intercession of the faithfully departed… the joining of the living…..and the **dead**…"

Xaphan's eyes grew huge and he whirled back to face Lauren, determined to finish the job. The bleeding grew worse.

Suddenly, in front of John and Sam, a small light appeared, growing steadily until it evaporated to reveal a young girl.

"Angel?" John and Sam yelled at the same time.

Dean looked up quickly, "Angel?" he looked at her, unsure of his own eyes.

"Daddy," she smiled at him.

"Honey?" Dean said. "Lauren, she's here," he said, looking at Lauren now.

Lauren lifted her head, the faintest hint of a smile on her face. "I knew you'd make it," she said.

Xaphan began laughing now, almost cackling.

Dean was staring at Angel, smiling at her, mesmerized by the glow of her small body as she stood there beaming with light all around her.

"Daddy," Angel said a little reproachfully. "We have a job to do."

Angel looked at the demon and then at both of her parents. Suddenly a blinding light radiated from her chest to Lauren's, from Lauren's to Dean's, then back to Angel's, forming a triangle between them, surrounding Xaphan. He screamed in surprise and then howled in agony as the light joined itself in the middle of the triangle and blew him apart. Immediately following, Angel disappeared again.

Sam, John, and Dean were released from their bonds and Lauren slumped to the floor.

"Angel?" Dean said, looking around desperately, but she was gone. "Lauren!" he yelled, running to her. "Dad, go get the car, now!" He cradled Lauren in his arms, talking to her, "it's going to be ok". Sam went around to her other side.

"Sam," Lauren said, reaching for his hand.

"Yeah?" Sam looked at her with tear-filled eyes.

"You take care of your brother for me, ok? Stick around, for a little while anyway. He needs you, you know?"

"Don't you do this Lauren, not now, not after everything that's happened. You hold on, do you hear me?" Dean yelled.

"Don't say goodbye to me," Sam said. "We're going to get you to the hospital. It's going to be ok."

"Sammy," she said, starting to cry. "You and I both know that's not true."

Dean looked from Lauren to Sam and back again. "Lauren, why? Why didn't you tell me?"

"If I had told you, Xaphan would have sensed your thoughts and we wouldn't have had a chance."

Dean swallowed hard. "I heard you talking to me, telling me to call Angel. I heard you."

"I knew you would," she smiled. "Dean, your family is safe. You don't have to worry about keeping Sam from the demon anymore. John's quest is over. You can start to heal now."

"**We** can heal now," Dean said, panic edging into his voice. "You're my family too. We can **all **heal now."

"I'm sorry Dean," Lauren said sorrowfully.

"You promised me happily ever after, remember? I'm going to hold you to it," he said through tears. "Don't you leave me!"

"'Til death do us part," she said with a sad smile, her voice getting weaker and her breathing shallower. She looked away from him now, past Sam. She took a sharp breath. "She's here!"

"Who?" Dean said, looking around.

"Angel, she's here," Lauren repeated.

Dean looked around frantically. "I don't see anything Lauren."

Lauren looked at Dean again. "No one goes alone," she said.

"Lauren, please!" Dean pleaded.

Sam's heart was breaking for his brother. John came running back in, about to tell them the car was right out front, suddenly realizing he was too late.

"She says it's time to go now," Lauren said.

"No!" Dean shouted. "Lauren, no! Don't you give up on me!"

She reached up to touch his cheek and smiled. "Never!" Her eyes closed, her hand fell, and her body went limp.

And the lights in Dean Winchester's world went out.


	15. Shatter Point and Now Comes the Night

**Shatter Point**

Sam sat with Dean, still holding Lauren's other hand, unable to really comprehend it all, torn between his own grief and the need to help his brother through this.

John's voice broke the silence, "Dean, we'll wait for you at the car."

Sam looked up at him, shaking his head no. "She asked me to stay with him," he said quietly, but Dean just shook his head and motioned toward the door for them to leave. For once, his father knew exactly what he needed.

Dean held her body in his arms and stared down at her. _This isn't happening, this can't be happening, it's a nightmare. I will wake up from this and she'll still be here. I'm not hunting the demon anymore; we'll just go back to a normal life. I'll convince her somehow, because I **cannot** live without her. I just can't. Stay calm, be in control, it's okay; it's just a dream, just a really bad dream. Wake up Dean, wake up! _

Deep down, Dean knew that this was no dream. He knew this because the voice was still there, taunting him, reminding him that he will never be happy. That every good thing that came into his life came at a price, and he would **never **be paid in full.

Daybreak began to creep in through rusted holes in the roof of the warehouse, illuminating his surroundings. A beam of sunlight fell on Lauren's face and for that moment, she was the girl he'd fallen in love with all those years ago, before she knew about demons and death, before Angel. He brushed the hair back from her eyes, and wiped the blood from her face with his shirt, smiling down at her, tracing the laugh lines around her eyes and mouth with his finger, memorizing again the features he knew better than his own. Memorizing them, because in a very short time, he was never going to see those features again and all he would have would be his memories. He leaned down and kissed her forehead as he had done so many times before; watching for the smile that always greeted him after that gesture, but it never appeared.

An hour later, Dean walked silently out to the car, carrying Lauren delicately in his arms. Sam opened the door to the back seat and allowed him to get in, closing the door behind him, not saying a word.

0000000000

In the days following Lauren's death, Dean went through all the motions like a robot. They had brought her body back to Tampa for cremation and the funeral ceremony. Sam had made all of the arrangements because Dean hadn't spoken a word since Lauren died. 

Afterward, Dean and Sam went back to Lauren's house. Dean stood in the bedroom he and Lauren had shared and stared out the window. He heard the doorbell ring, heard Sam say, "Hi Dad," and invite him in. He heard the door to the bedroom open and his father say, "Can I come in?" He heard his father's footsteps as he approached him.

"Dean," he started.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew what she had planned," Dean said almost inaudibly.

"Yes, I knew," John said simply.

"How long did you know?" Dean asked.

"Dean…"

"How long?" Dean repeated.

"A few days after Angel's funeral, Lauren called me from the cabin at the lake and wanted me to help her figure out what the nightmares meant. It took about a month to piece most of it together."

"You knew for over a year that she was going to die, and you said nothing," Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I knew what Lauren wanted most was to get rid of the things that haunt you so that you could be happy. She knew you wouldn't let her do this, so she asked me to keep her secret. She loved you Dean, she just wanted to be a family again."

Dean turned to face John, his eyes full of tears. "And now she's dead and I have nothing! This is all your fault!" Dean yelled, pointing at his father before turning away again.

"Dean, I tried to talk her out of it once we realized the risk. We weren't sure of anything except that it was the only way to get rid of the demon for good."

"I don't care about the damn demon, I just want her back!" his voice caught in his throat.

John put a hand on Dean's shoulder, but Dean turned around and punched him in the face. He stumbled backward, felt the warmth, and tasted the blood on his lips.

"I deserved that. I deserve a lot worse. I'm sorry Dean," John said.

"No, I'm sorry," Dean shouted. "I'm sorry that I ever followed you on this stupid crusade to begin with. I'm sorry I ever listened to **anything** you had to say. I'm sorry for all the years that I lost with Lauren and Angel because you thought you knew how to protect me. This isn't protection Dad; this is hell. And you put me here!"

"Dean,"

"Go. Get out. Get out of this house and get out of my life. I never want to see you again," Dean said evenly.

"Fine, I'll go, but I need to give you this first," John said, reaching into his shirt pocket to pull out a dusty old envelope. "Lauren sent me this on Angel's first birthday. It contains her final wishes at that time. I don't think they've changed. I'd give anything to change what happened, to bring her back. I'm sorry Dean; I know I'm not perfect, but I've always tried to do what's best for you. That's what fathers do."

"My father died when I was four years old," Dean said quietly as he turned back to the window.

Dean stared at the urn containing Lauren's ashes sitting on top of the dresser. He sat down heavily on the bed and looked at the envelope John had handed him. He pulled the single sheet of paper out and stared down at Lauren's handwriting:

_John,_

I wanted to send along some pictures of Angel, since it's the only real connection she can have with her father's side of the family. She's growing so fast, walking now. I will never forget what you've done for us and how you saved Angel's life that night. God bless you and Dean for everything that you do to make this world a safer place.

My one regret is Dean. I wish that he would have had a chance to know his daughter and that Angel had a chance to know him. Every time I look at her, I see his eyes, his smile and his strength. I miss him so much that I feel my heart breaking a little more each day. I wish that there could have been another way, but I know now that's not possible.

Anyway, I don't want to ramble. There is another purpose for this letter. Underneath that tough guy exterior of yours, you believe in real love. You haven't fooled me at all (smile). I am sending this to you because I know that you will understand.

I have already made arrangements to be cremated, but I left nothing public to let anyone know where my ashes are to be taken, just a notation that they are to be turned over to you. At the bottom of this letter is an address for a lake in the town where Dean and I met.

In a perfect world, Dean would handle this. But we don't live in a perfect world John, so I am asking you to spread my ashes in that lake so that I can spend eternity in the most beautiful place I know… the place where I fell in love with your son.

Lauren 

A few minutes later, Dean heard a soft knock on the door before Sam poked his head in.

"Can I get you anything?"

Dean shook his head. Sam sat down next to him on the bed and Dean handed him the letter, then got up and began to pack his things. Sam finished reading the letter and looked up at his brother.

"I'm coming with you," Sam said.

"No," Dean replied.

"Dean, I don't think you should be alone right now," Sam objected.

"I've always been alone Sam," Dean said. "I need to do this alone too. I'll be back in a week." With that, Dean grabbed the urn and walked out the door.

0000000000

Dean sat on the dock, staring out at the water, with the urn sitting next to him unopened. He knew what she wanted, but he also knew that as soon as he opened that thing and let its contents out that he was going to have to face the truth. And he knew he couldn't face it, not now, not ever.

He walked back into the cabin, urn in hand, still unopened.

000000000

Everyone has a shatter point. It's the point at which the human psyche has taken all it can take; the point at which everything crumbles; the point at which everything falls apart. Lauren's death had pushed Dean to his shatter point.

Dean Winchester had been surrounded by death since he was four years old. His mother, Sam's girlfriend Jessica, some of the people he had tried to save, and countless paranormal entities along the way.

He always thought that he would be the first to go. That some spirit or demon would take him out and he would die doing what he was made to do, protecting others. He never thought that he would have to live through this. He never thought that Sam would ever be safe while he was still alive.

In destroying the demon, Lauren had released Dean from the responsibility he had since he was four years old – keeping Sam safe. The demon that had haunted their family and wanted Sam was now gone. She gave Dean the biggest gift anyone would **_think_** they could, but ultimately took away his purpose in this life. Now, Dean didn't know what to do with himself.

He pulled his knees up to his chest. He felt like he was four years old again. He began to rock back and forth, clutching his legs tighter and tighter to his chest, closing his eyes, trying to fight back the memories. He didn't want to remember, it hurt too much.

He pushed his hands against his temples, willing the memories to go away. For hours, they kept coming, replaying over and over in his head as he cried like he had never cried before: their first kiss, making love to her for the first time, her smile, buying the ring, finding her again, pushing Angel on the swing, Angel calling him Daddy for the first time, Lauren's smile, Angel's smile, the love in their eyes when they looked at him, the way they trusted him, the tears in Lauren's eyes when he'd asked her to marry him, the feeling in his heart when she'd said yes, the pain when Angel had died, the hope that he felt when Lauren had held his hand for that split second at the lake, the grin on her face the night she'd let him back into her heart, the happy tears in her eyes when they laid there together afterward, the way she could lay her hand on his forehead or his cheek and smile at him and melt the whole world away, Meg and the dagger, Angel, the blood, and the fire, Lauren, the demon, the blood, all that blood, Lauren's face when he told her not to give up on him and the final word she ever spoke to him: "Never."

It echoed in his head now, "Never. Never. Never."

_Nobody needs me here anymore. I've failed. Sam is safe, he doesn't need me. Dad… well, Dad can go straight to hell. The demon is gone; the threat has been extinguished. Angel's gone. Lauren's gone. Sam is safe. I'm tired. I miss my little girl. I miss Lauren. I'm alone, always alone. I don't want to be alone anymore; I want to be with them. _

_You can be_, a voice whispered in the darkness.

He knew that voice, and he knew it was right. It had always been right. Missouri had been wrong. It wasn't the devil talking to him; it was his conscience, the truth of who he was and what his life had become.

_You don't have to be alone anymore Dean. You can be with Lauren and Angel again. There is a way. _The voice was softer now, kind and sympathetic.

_You're tired. It's time to rest. You've done your job, fulfilled your purpose in this life. It's time to move on to the next, be with your family, be happy, really, truly happy and stay that way forever. You don't have to be alone anymore. Join Lauren and Angel; they're waiting for you._

An old song began playing itself in Dean's head now, the lyrics soothing him:

__

Love of two is one. Here but now they're gone. Came the last night of sadness. And it was clear she couldn't go on. The door was open and the wind appeared. The candles blew and then disappeared. The curtains flew then he appeared (saying don't be afraid). Come on baby (and she had no fear). And she ran to him (then they started to fly). 

_  
_  
_Romeo and Juliet are together in eternity._ This line repeated over and over in his brain.

Dean stopped rocking. He reached into his jacket pocket and slowly pulled out his gun. He ran his fingers over its polished edges, felt the soft curves of its lines, felt it calling him. He rubbed his left hand over his tired eyes and face.

The pistol was cool against his skin, soothing the pounding in his head as it caressed his temple, chasing the fear and loneliness away. He felt his pain start to ease as he pulled the hammer back and placed his index finger on the trigger.

**Now Comes the Night**

Dean's hand was on the trigger now. The gun felt cool against his warm skin; there was something inviting about it. It made everything feel better again. He wasn't afraid of death, of dying. He was afraid of living, alone, without her. Because without her, without protecting Sam, nothing made sense.

0000000000

Sam drove the rental car the last mile up to the old cabin with a sense of dread in his heart. He just didn't feel right about Dean being up here by himself and had gotten on a plane two days after Dean had left. He heard Lauren's voice in his head. _You take care of your brother for me, ok? Stick around, for a little while anyway. He needs you, you know?_

Something was wrong, he could feel it. He ran from the car to the cabin and knocked on the door. No answer, but he could hear something inside, things crashing. _He's throwing things; that's probably a good sign, letting things out._ He tried the door, but it was locked. Finally, he kicked it in.

0000000000

Dean hadn't heard the knocking, or the door being kicked in. All he heard was Lauren's laugh and Blue Oyster Cult telling him how they could be together again.

Sam burst through the front door, and then followed the crashing noises to the back bedroom, where the door was partially open. All he could see from the hallway was anything that could possibly have been loose flying around the room in circles, randomly crashing into the walls. _What the hell? _

He pushed the door open slowly and his eyes opened wide. "Dean!" Sam yelled as he caught sight of his brother, sitting on the bed with his knees pulled up to his chest, his eyes squeezed shut, and a gun to his own head. "Dean no!"

Dean blinked, startled by the sudden interruption. When he opened his eyes, everything that had been flying around the room suddenly dropped to the floor. Sam figured it must be one of his abilities, turned loose by his subconscious under all this stress. Dean hadn't even realized what he'd been doing.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked cautiously, slowly moving toward his brother.

Dean didn't answer.

"Put the gun down Dean," Sam said with a little more authority in his voice.

"Go away Sam," he saw his brother's lips move but the voice was childlike, young and afraid.

"I'm not going anywhere," Sam said evenly, taking another step forward.

"Don't," Dean said, his adult voice returning, eyebrows lifting slightly as he pushed the gun more forcefully against his temple, his finger tightening on the trigger.

"Dean, you don't want to do this," Sam said, his voice breaking as he took another step toward his brother.

"Yeah, Sammy, I do. I really do," Dean said matter-of-factly and lifted his head slightly, unintentionally sending Sam backwards several steps. "Hey, that trick would have come in handy **ABOUT A WEEK AGO!**" he shouted.

Sam's heart fell as he looked at his brother now, alone, scared and hopeless. He couldn't imagine how much stress Dean was under. "I'm sorry Dean," he said.

"Sorry doesn't bring her back Sam. I'm done. I can't do this anymore!"

"Yes you can," they heard a familiar voice say. Dean and Sam looked up to see Lauren, or more accurately Lauren's spirit, appear as Angel's had the night the demon had been destroyed.

"Lauren?" Dean's eyes opened wide, looking at Lauren and then Sam.

"I see her too," Sam said.

Lauren sat next to Dean, "I told you I would never give up on you. That doesn't end with death. It's too soon for you to join us Dean."

"Sam's safe now. He doesn't need me anymore," Dean said in a shaky voice.

"Yes, I do," Sam said resolutely.

"I'm tired Lauren. I'm just so tired," Dean said, putting his hands over his face and beginning to cry again.

Sam's eyes filled as he saw another light enter the room and Angel appeared. Sam collapsed into a chair from exhaustion and relief. Dean hadn't seen her yet. Angel walked up to Sam and touched his hand briefly before moving to her father's bedside.

"I miss you Lauren, I miss Angel," Dean said then, his face still buried in his own hands.

"I'm right here Daddy," Angel said.

Dean's head snapped up at the sound of her voice. "Angel?"

Angel smiled at him. "Do you remember what you would tell me when you would leave with Sam for the weekend and I told you I would miss you?"

"Remind me," Dean smiled at her.

"No matter where I am, I'll always be right here in your heart", Angel and Dean pointed to each other's chests at the word heart, then said together "so long as you still love me."

"Do you still love me Daddy?" Angel asked him.

"Always baby," Dean said. "Always!"

"Then I'll always be with you," Angel said.

Lauren reached out to Dean and tilted his chin up, looking him directly in the eyes. "We will be together again one day, but not now. There are other hunts. You have gifts; you have to learn to use them. You still have a purpose in this life Dean, a very important one. It's not your time to go. Angel and I will come for you when it is and then we'll all be together again. But, no matter where you are or who you're with, you're never alone."

Dean felt his eyelids getting heavier by the minute.

Lauren looked at Sam and said, "We've got this one Sam. He'll be ok."

Sam stood up and took the gun out of his now sleeping brother's hand. He leaned over and smoothed Dean's hair a little, just like he'd felt Dean do every night after he'd thought he was asleep when they were kids. "I love you Deany," he whispered, smiling as he recalled his old nickname for his brother.

Angel waved goodbye to Sam as she disappeared.

Sam smiled through tears and told Lauren goodbye.

"Goodbye Sam," she said as he turned to leave the room. "I'll see you too, but it will be a while," she winked at him. It was bittersweet news.

Lauren leaned down and planted a kiss on Dean's forehead after Sam had left the room, whispering, "Goodbye my love," before disappearing. Dean slept for two days straight.

0000000000

On the day he woke up, Dean and Sam spread Lauren's ashes over the lake together, then drove back to Tampa in the Impala after returning Sam's rental to the airport.

_**Author's Note: This section below is just a wrap up for the story itself. In no way do I think this should happen on the show…. **_

Sam had offered to join him on the hunt, but his heart wasn't in it and Dean knew it. Dean gave Sam his blessing to go back to school, where he finished his law degree and joined a prestigious firm in Tampa. Sam called Dean daily, filling him in on all of the mundane aspects of his new life, when he'd rented an apartment, a girl he was dating, the little things that told Dean he was okay and happy. And Dean would occasionally call him for his take on whatever he was hunting at the time if he was stuck.

Dean had asked Sam to go back to school for another reason though. He knew that if Sam was with him, **_sh_**e wouldn't be. And in the beginning, on the nights when Dean was feeling really lonely, Lauren would come to him and hold him until he fell asleep. He would wake in the morning alone, but still feel her presence, giving him the strength to face another day.

He had put the house in Tampa up for sale and used the money to buy the cabin by the lake, returning there between hunts to feel close to Lauren and Angel. He would sit on the dock as she had so many times, and talk to her there. He heard her voice in his head long after he stopped being able to see her.

In the end, Lauren's voice had replaced the negative voice Dean had heard since he was four years old, and he never heard the voice of fear or loneliness again.


End file.
